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Martini Glambassador's avatar

We (ok, it might have just been TehBadder and I) were talkin' tapir last week, so this one is timely, no? Uma (your image header critter) is such a cutie pie. Find out more here: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/lil-tapir-uma-says-hello-world?r=angu9

And yer meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/faa61655-dc68-4ebb-b819-cbe03d6240cf

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theCryptofishist's avatar

That's a tapir in the watermelon stage! Excellent.

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LilJerseyGirlLost/Lori H's avatar

I know the day is almost over, but I'm finally catching up on the morning tabs. I brought you a young tapir with the baby stripes still on it. His name is Biscoito, and he's being rehabbed for release at Elephant Sanctuary Brazil of Global Sanctuary for Elephants. They do wildlife rehab for the native wildlife when they can while rescuing and providing Sanctuary to South America's captive elephants. I just figured I should explain where the video comes from, they are a great place, I donate when I can. And YES.......baby tapirs are PERFECTLY PRECIOUS!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yZW-advJcA&t=1s

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Awwwwww!

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The Estivating Hibernian's avatar

Cuter than a tapir's wiggly snoot!

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SkeptiKC's avatar

Well; it appears the Monday morning tabs have tapir-ed off.

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IMPOed's avatar

Daaad!

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Shocktreatment's avatar

Tapir, tap there, tap anywhere but on the proboscis!

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Hamilton & The Crew 🥴's avatar

"Tapir" sounds like an archaic esoteric woodworking tool or something.

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Thatsit Fortheotherwon's avatar

Or what you should do with the psychedelics... tapir off.

(Just kiddin' Hammy, but couldn't let it go to waste.)

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Hamilton & The Crew 🥴's avatar

Also too: You gotta do that tapir shit with prednisone and similar steroids. I was intubated in an ICU for five days for respiratory failure because I just stopped a tapir. This happened after I commuted from Phoenix to a job site in Lancaster CA and forgot to bring my prednisone with me. I figured I was going to be okay...until I was gasping on my phone to 911 back in 1993.

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Bobathonic's avatar

DAMN, HAMMY!

I only took it because poison ivy, and I just knew cutting it off could damage your adrenal glands.

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Adorable painted babby!

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Free beach's avatar

That furry wins the internet!

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weejee's avatar

Looks like tapers are porcine cousins. Kissin' cousins at least.

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theCryptofishist's avatar

I think they are odd-toed, not even, so convergent evolution.

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Bobathonic's avatar

Nobody can hold a candle to that tapir.

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theCryptofishist's avatar

Enter Lady Macbeth, carrying a light tapir.

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Thatsit Fortheotherwon's avatar

Groan...

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Menotsure's avatar

Tapirs are odd-toed ungulates

Their feet are out of whack

With four toes on the front feet

And three toes on the back

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Mr Canoehead/M Tête-Canoë's avatar

Is it that big a deal? Mice have four toes on their front feet and five on the back ones. (A fact I learned writing fanfiction.)

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Menotsure's avatar

Mice for the odd-toe win!

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

It's twu, it's twu!

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Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

That's enough Wienerschnitzles for you...

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Menotsure's avatar

I might pull your leg a bit, from time to time, but not today.

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Pere Ubu's avatar

I'd boop that snoot, but it seems too agile!

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Always Be Ithacating's avatar

Watching baby animals learn to operate a trunk is one of life's purer joys.

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Mr Canoehead/M Tête-Canoë's avatar

Tapir? Tapir yourself, she's your large herbivorous mammal!

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memzilla's avatar

That was always my favorite Carole King album: 'Tapirstry.'

Oh look, it's Mr. Cary Grant. Hello, Mr. Grant! What's that? Two words, you say?

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tehbaddr's avatar

Kids these days, trying to be all cool and different with their spots!

https://substack.com/@tehbaddr/note/c-39919481

(again pachydermata)

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Forgive me for adding an extra "e" to your nym. My memory banks can only hold so much info and that one I misremembered.

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tehbaddr's avatar

sOK Wonkers do that all the time.

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The Wanderer's avatar

The little fellow isn't tapir-ing off, either.

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Mr Canoehead/M Tête-Canoë's avatar

Home tapirs are killing music!

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Schmannity's avatar

Where you moor a vessel.

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

I got it!

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Buoy oh buoy, I don't get your drift, may need moor coffee.

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Sojourner Truth's avatar

Coffee?

I am trying to tapir off.

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

Don't tapir too much. My husband calls coffee the elixir of consciousness, and consciousness is a useful thing from time to time.

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Queroloustwo's avatar

A conscious conscience would be nice.

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kmblue187's avatar

Joy Reid got fired and is saying goodbye to her crew. New prez of MSNBC, such shit always happens, they call it a "shakeup." I never was a fan, but I) I wonder why she got the ax and 2)

I'm sympathetic to anyone (almost) who gets fired like that. Now saying goodbye to her crew.

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kmblue187's avatar

Joy Reid got fired and is saying goodbye right now to her crew. New Prez of MSNBC,

they call it a "shakeup" this shit always happens. Full disclosure, I'm not a big fan of Joy, but always sympathetic when this occurs.

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Khavrinen's avatar

"Trump’s already fired his own pick from a few weeks ago, (acting) director of ICE Caleb Vitello, for not meeting his deporting-people quota."

I wish I could believe that, given the rate Trump throws people under the bus, he'd eventually run out of volunteers, but I'm afraid P.T. Barnum's famous quote is just as applicable to the sort of person Trump likes, too.

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FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

Was *not* expecting Sultans of Ping FC this morning, but that's a pleasant surprise!

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Always Be Ithacating's avatar

Rep. Cory Mills co-founded PACEM Defense with his wife, Rana Alsaadi, who is currently the company's Executive Chairwoman. The company sells 40 mm ammunition, and offers security, intelligence collection, and support services. They also provide training: https://www.pacem-defense.com/training.

I'm guessing he may know some cops with influence.

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jltympanum's avatar

This just goes to show how overwhelmingly strong the cuteness of a baby animal is. In my warped opinion, the adult tapir is the ugliest of the mammals. But the babies are charming.

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Babe Paley's avatar

I have to post this here--I know there are a few of you who enjoy a huge take down, and this is a murder case where the court overturned a conviction, and they can't prosecute again, because the ADA decided his whole case would center around the defendant being a witch.

https://nmonesource.com/nmos/nmsc/en/item/531141/index.do?q=witch

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Demodocus's avatar

*blink* A, a witch?? Even in the immediate aftermath of the Salem Witch Trials, people were starting to think that was dumb.

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zuludaddy (seem 'on key?')'s avatar

(useless, related knowledge!

Royal Cork YC, oldest in the world)

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Biff52 is Tariffied's avatar

Thar be pyrats!

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Babe Paley's avatar

Tonight we're going to someplace we've never been before for our restaurant week special--it's a fancy pan-Asian place and they have 3 different tasting menus available. I'm pretty excited and keep reading over the menus. One has meat, one has no meat but has fish, and one's vegan. I'm kind of leaning towards the seafood one, but they all sound good. Vegan one sounds interesting too--sometimes that's where the chef really shines with creativity, and though I'm not vegan, that could be good.

Yesterday we went and saw "The Brutalist"--it didn't seem all that long to me. I honestly didn't know what to expect, but it was good. It was kind of like "The Master", which I loved--charismatic mid-century guy.

Anyway, y'all have a good day!

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

In a classic "Canadians make fun of Trump" vein, someone posted a meme (sorry, didn't grab it and now can't find it) with Ricky from the Trailer Park Boys.

The Gulf of Mexico is labelled:

Gof

uk

yerself.

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Pope Scipio Haverhillicus's avatar

You have to keep your distance from tapirs because they will projectile piss at you. That's their primary defensive weapon.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Sounds like dealing with an elected Republican official at a townhall.

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Heidi L's avatar

Thanks for today's earworm! Haven't heard "Where's Me Jumper" in an age (i.e. since my club days in a former century), but it's just the bounce I needed today!

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Alpaca22's avatar

i was a tad too old for this one but do remember The Sultans of Ping

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Alpaca22's avatar

Havent read yet but being from Manchester, UK the headline is a phrase I have often used in my 59 yrs of life.

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cmd Human Scum's avatar

I heard a thing this morning saying SCOTUS wasn't going to hear the appeal of the Dellinger TRO, and I thought, GOOD. But then I read the order, which holds the petition in abeyance until after the TRO expires. Sotomeyor and Jackson would have denied the application. Gorsuch and Alito wrote a dissent that says they should have taken the case because a bunch of shit. I didn't read it closely but language about infringing on executive was disturbing. https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/24pdf/24a790_6i79.pdf

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"M"'s avatar

Thanks for this

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MissMuppet's avatar

Seriously, why are we not building a guillotine on the National Mall? Hell, throw a gallows up next to it! I’m done with nice words about how awful this is. We the People need to be rising up and throwing punches. Fuck these Nazi bastards.

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