Where's Our Cake! We Want Cake! Tabs, Thurs., May 1, 2025

Happy May Day! Morning news roundup! Things to read!

Hey Tini, did you ever watch “Meerkat Manor”? That shit was crazy. Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador.

What are you doing for May Day? (Mobilize)

Oh no, we just mugged Ukraine :( (New York Times)

Be a nerd with Liz Warren and the Senate Banking Democrats and learn some numbers about Trump’s Shit Economy. (Senate Banking Dems)

Trump is … unconcerned with the Grinch (him) stealing your children’s Christmas. “Maybe they’ll have two dolls instead of 30.” Well, but that’s your child. Trump’s grandchildren, whose names I guarantee you he does not know, will have the rest of them. (Axios)

Poll! Eighty-four percent of business leaders are “concerned” about what the fuck is this even, while one-fourth of business leaders actually pay attention to the world around them: “About a quarter of respondents said the current business climate under Trump is about what they expected.” AYUP. (Wall Street Journal)

If you have good feelings for House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries and want to continue to do so, probably don’t read this opening quote on “should Democrats go to El Salvador.” (The Bulwark)

Anybody know the fuck Pam Bondi is talking about here? Are we going to have to actually look into it? Because I will tell you what 1-2-3 NOT IT.

RFK Jr. wants the weak to die, because that is “nature.” This is very well-said. (The Gauntlet)

This about a Ukrainian journalist in her 20s murdered and tortured by Putin is bad, don’t read it. (CBS News)

Here is the rightwing pink-slime fake news website AI doing the journalism. It is very good journalism. (Pinal Today)

This is great. At first you think it’s dystopian, and then you realize it’s topian as fuck! It’s like Opposite Day The Split! Enjoy! (Bad Faith Times)

I am not Robyn, I do not know who this Real Housewife lady is, but I clicked through to see why she and Eminem are in legals together, and the answer is Jesus Christ, MARSHALL, you can’t patent the fucking word “shady,” you’re not Bill Gates and shady isn’t “ones and zeroes.” (People)

Here is a good song about numbers.

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Mother’s Day already? Your mom needs an IMPEACH hat and she needs it bad.

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Wonkalonks! Your pal Suzy Greenberg has seized the means of Wonkmeet production! Save the Date! Sat., June 7, she’s hosting a Wonkmeet at Camp Plymouth State Park, 2008 Scout Camp Rd, Ludlow, Vermont! She’s rented the Wedding Grove Pavillion and is thinking 1-5 p.m. $5 for adults to get into the park. Parking and restrooms nearby. Stay tuned and spread the word.

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