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Pixeloid's avatar

I read something recently that made me laugh. Seems a lot of Velveeta Voldemort’s weird recent symptoms can be explained by advanced syphilis (stage 2, I think). I wish him all the worst.

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DeathPanelTruck's avatar

Looks like a symptom of renal failure to me. I was diagnosed with glomerulonephritis 25 years ago. It’s pretty much in remission now, but before I sought treatment my lower legs and ankles were swollen the size of tree limbs. I was prescribed Bumex, and must have peed off 35 lbs. in three days (Bumex is a powerful diuretic - approximately forty times more potent than Lasix. Doctor said stick to the dose and don’t share it with anyone. You take too much, and you will literally pee your life away.)

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kmblue187's avatar

Maybe if his blood got to his brain occasionally...

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Peter MacMonagle's avatar

Pray for congestive heart failure. SOON.It would be a great Christmas present for the US and the world.

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Goonemeritus's avatar

I think there is more evidence that Trump's brains are what is pooling in his lower extremities. He continues to stay stupid shit, this is a clear indicator of that condition. I would also like to point out that he was a close friend of Epstein, it's not related to his medical condition but I feel it must be regularly mentioned.

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Kirsty Gnome-Poledance Himmler's avatar

Huh. I thought they were the custom ankle weights he sells at his Etsy storefront.

Made from gooooold.

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Tessie's avatar

Isn't crying sick what all the old sexual predators do when the shit is about to hit the fan?

Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, and now T****p.

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Tessie's avatar

They must be absolutely shitting peach pits over the Epstein files if they're admitting that Lord Goldfish isn't the fittest, healthiest preznit ever.

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Goonemeritus's avatar

I would guess they are shitting avocado pits

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Respectfully submitted: horse-chestnuts in the husk.

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DemoCat's avatar

It really is a surprise that the White House would allow any semi-honest answer about Trump’s health. The deep bruising on his hands, probably related to his aging vascular system, was supposedly due to vigorous and powerful handshaking. Everyone knew that wasn’t true, because Trump only gives insecure squeezy handshakes, he doesn’t receive them.

I’m surprised they didn’t attribute his chubby clubbies to his world class ballroom and tap dancing.

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Zoot alors!...zee secret plan d'Emmanuel Macron!

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Spleen Victoria's avatar

I thought he actively avoided handshakes on account of germaphobia.

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Jamoche's avatar

He used to yank people around with his handshakes as an asshole power play. Nothing can make me do a video search to find out when that changed.

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DemoCat's avatar

Nothing shouts self-assurance more than awkwardly and rudely yanking people’s arms during handshakes. He’s the smallest bully alive.

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Gary. Sigh. A condition that's only fatal to the political aspirations of smart women.

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"M"'s avatar

ISWYDT

💙

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Thixotropickle's avatar

"Why hel-lo, Donald, my you're looking swell."

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Very full of himself.

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Tom65's avatar

How about the diaper?

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Also swelling rapidly.

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forestvillain's avatar

The only thing I want him to wear is a shroud.

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Khavrinen's avatar

"Hi Doctor Nick!!"

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kckitty's avatar

Well, this is the first time I read the rules! I think I can deal...

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Trump Premieres Astounding New Power

"By stopping the hands -- they call them hands but they're more needle-like, 'time needles' -- by stopping the time needles on this my own special clock I can thereby forthwith stop time! Stopping it...NOW!" The assembled reporters stood in frozen amazement.

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