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Ron Spangler's avatar

Because we live in the worst timeline, when I watched this on my phone I thought you had 'shopped a sombrero onto the Moose's antlers. I didn't look for the mustache. I'm glad I was wrong.

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Pere Ubu's avatar

Mookse! MOOKSE!!

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Joe Blow's avatar

Why did the moose cross the road?

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Pere Ubu's avatar

Who's gonna tell him he can't?

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ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

Some headgear!

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OneYieldRegular's avatar

Oringnal!

(The Quebecois word for moose, which I only learned while eating one).

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Littorally Speaking's avatar

A Quebecois?

“You can really taste the poutine!”

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Resource NW's avatar

My sister had one walk across her back pasture. Much fence mending ensued.

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Menotsure's avatar

Years ago, when I first saw an adult male moose in the wild, I was amazed at the sheer mass of the thing. It is said that these stately beasts have hearts the size of basketballs. I believe it.

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OneYieldRegular's avatar

Many years ago when I lived in upstate New York, I decided that I would drive to San Francisco by way of Canada - up over the Great Lakes. An acquaintance then who was originally from Ontario told me to be super careful when driving in moose country, because moose were ginormous and aggressive and could and would charge one's car if the least bit provoked. He knew someone who been killed that way. I did see some moose on that drive, which went into areas so remote that I could not pick up a single radio station and often didn't see another car for hours. One moose surged up onto the highway just like in the clip above. I stopped a good 200 feet away and and put the car in reverse just in case.

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lordpnut's avatar

They're not afraid of shit.

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Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Moose Overlord nonchalance is best nonchalance.

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Schmannity's avatar

Moose kill more humans than grizzly bears in Alaska

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Pere Ubu's avatar

A bear is more likely to walk away than attack. They don't want trouble (unless cubs are involved). Mookse will stomp you into paste just because THEY FEEL LIKE IT.

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ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

Can we sell Hegseth on the idea that hunting in the Canadian woods is manly? And hope for an accident?

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OneYieldRegular's avatar

I'd like a moose vs. grizzly bear battle t-shirt to go with the one I have of giant squid vs. sperm whale.

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Nolan_Mark5 - 仕事の鬼's avatar

Squid bear vs. Moose whale.

Tentacles with claws battle against a hundred foot rack...

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3FingerPete's avatar

It's not a competition.

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satch's avatar

Remember, mooses are not all like Bullwinkle.

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Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

Møøses are big, strong, and dumb. They are exactly like Bullwinkle except Bullwinkle never bit my sister.

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littlerice vice's avatar

BULLWINKLE was SISTER KISSER!

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Rags's avatar

Don't diss my son!!!

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Schmannity's avatar

Look at the rack on that one!

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SkeptiKC's avatar

A huge female moose decided to hang out in our backyard one day a few years ago. I was gobsmacked watching her from the war room window, grazing on the grass and nibbling from the flower bed. She stayed for so long I finally called the local wildlife agency and made them aware of her presence for her own safety.

I was in awe of that massive beast. She was just beautiful.

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Eureka's avatar

They get down on their front elbows and *walk around on them* while grazing! I was gobsmacked when I saw this with my own eyes…they’re just so big, and comfortable enough to do this because so few predators I guess.

There is a state park in Colorado called State Forest State Park, home to 600 moose. I recommend.

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Kay Ducky's avatar

It took a few million years, but nature autocorrected "mouse"

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Michael's avatar

Just looking at the trees I was guessing Alaska is the locale. My wife and I have seen these marvelous but reputedly irascible animals in Montana and Wyoming walking in shallow streams, crossing highways and even out in the treeless grasslands southeast of the Wind Rivers

They're always a heart stopping sight!

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Nolan_Mark5 - 仕事の鬼's avatar

If I had a liter of poutine

for every moose I herd,

Of my body weight.

I would roughly have a third.

Not enough to swim with

but enough to bathe,

In mayonnaised moisturizer,

making my paler flesh unage.

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Menotsure's avatar

Bravo!

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

Mmmm, poutine.

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Angryoldman's avatar

My father went hunting one fall; got a Moose, wounded an Elk and a Mason.

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Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

Mind the Clampers, we shoot back!

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

Game wardens? Cows?

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Angryoldman's avatar

The law was very firm it, took away my permit.

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

The worst punishment you ever endured?

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Angryoldman's avatar

Cows were out of season

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

And you couldn't be bothered to check? Serves you right. How are we supposed to keep global warming going without a full supply of cow farts? Not to mention keep me happy without milk and butter and the occasional hamburger (not those disgusting hamberder things).

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Jo Mercer's avatar

but no Shriners?

ba dum tiss

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Mike_Cramer's avatar

Those Shriners are hard to hit, though. Who knew those scooters were so nimble?

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Angryoldman's avatar

HA!

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

So, no Oddfellows in the field, then.

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Michael's avatar

Beat me too it

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Nolan_Mark5 - 仕事の鬼's avatar

Sounds jarring.

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Angryoldman's avatar

Nothing compared to last year when I shot my first turkey for Thanksgiving. Scared the hell out of everybody in the frozen food section at the Kroger store.

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Ron Spangler's avatar

I don't watch John Oliver regularly, because my wife has the HBO password and she keeps changing it, but when I do ... fucking legend.

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Teen Laqueefa's avatar

Heckle harder

Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) fell Thursday while being heckled by left-wing protesters as he was walking through a Senate office building.

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Tessie's avatar

OT: Teal Pumpkin allows kids with dietary restrictions or other health issues to trick-or-treat safely:

https://www.foodallergy.org/our-initiatives/awareness-campaigns/teal-pumpkin-project

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cynmac's avatar

My mom always gave out quarters. The last time I had trick or treaters, I gave out mini tubs of Play-Doh in Halloween colors.

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ludus's avatar

"I had the fish." THANK YOU.

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calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

Hey there, fellow kids! I've been gone and away from the internet, and I have to say that felt pretty good. Did I miss anything?

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Same shit. Different day.

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cmd Human Scum's avatar

Here's the scary CLARINETIST that was arrested in Portland talking after she was released (but still has pending charges).

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/GV0KXxIRZC4

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Alternative Dog's avatar

That clip with Colbert and Keaton was glorious. Like many people I fell in love with her in the 1970s and my respect for her only deepened over the years. She was such a bright light in the world.

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bjkeefe's avatar

I saw a post from Obama on Bluesky yesterday, about Prop 50, and all I could think is, "Thank you for FINALLY MAKING A DEFINITIVE PUBLIC STATEMENT ABOUT THE CRISIS WE ARE IN."

Part of me says, okay, he served his time, if he doesn't want to be back in the fray, I have to respect that choice. And then there is that other part of me ...

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Lady Tavestock's avatar

I'm heart broken about gutting the Voting Rights Act. I figured, since it was a law that has lasted so long, that it would be safe from SCOTUS dismantling it.

Look, just as passage of the VRA led to the Dems and Repubes "flipping" their platforms during the 60's and 70's, I think we're going to have to get crafty again. Personally, I changed my party affiliation to Repube and I'm helping a progressive candidate run for office on the R ticket. Will she win? It's possible!! She's likable and she cares - plus, the sitting repube official had been shooting himself in the foot.

If we're honest, I think we voted for a lot of Republican-lite officials just because they were Democrats and it didn't do us any good. I think overturning VRA will lead to mixed gains and setbacks. We're going to see more RINOS and fewer DINOS.

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SteveInSoCal's avatar

Defending the right to vote: RACIST!!

Letting ICE stormtroopers target ppl who look Hispanic: NOT RACIST!!

😒 😒 😒

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Fiddlesticks's avatar

Wtf is this shit about firing missiles over the freeway into camp Pendleton? during the no kings protest?!

https://www.sfchronicle.com/california/article/newsom-rips-trump-plan-fire-missiles-i-5-freeway-21103248.php

Why wasn't this publicized earlier? Seems really stupid.

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Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

There's a law in California. We aren't allowed to shoot across roads, or near homes or occupied buildings. You would think if it applies to a tiny .22 cal bullet, it would also apply to a big-assed missile.

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Pere Ubu's avatar

Also - gunboat diplomacy against your own country, cool, cool

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Pere Ubu's avatar

Ooooh, firing rockets over A GODDAMN FREEWAY, don't see any problems there unless, you know, something goes wrong and the engine cuts out and there's no long-range self-destruct for missiles but what could go wrong with flying tons of explosive over a public area?

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SteveInSoCal's avatar

Per CALTRANS, about 160,000 vehicles per day traverse that section of Interstate 5

So, it's basically a country back road

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Pere Ubu's avatar

Still, blowing a big hole in infrastructure doesn't seem like a winning strategy.

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Fiddlesticks's avatar

Also - it's Thursday. They STILL DONT KNOW if they're going to close a major Freeway tomorrow, between LA and San Diego. Maybe!? Geez.

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SteveInSoCal's avatar

If they close the I-5, it will require a 50+ mile (and prolly 2+ hr) detour around Pendleton via SR-74/76 and I-15

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Jeff, still got my guitar's avatar

"Adcock referenced his company’s master document, which says the company won’t put humanoid robots in “military or defense applications, nor any roles that require inflicting harm on humans.” Benioff downplayed the commitment, saying, “Google also used to say that, by the way.”

Balloon head billionaire continues talking out his ass.

https://www.sfgate.com/tech/article/dreamforce-talk-benioff-sfpd-ai-robocops-21103063.php

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

Pretty sure Google or Alphabet never said "Google will never put AI in a role that requires inflicting harm on humans".

Unless they are talking about customer support-type positions, companies like Google don't get a lot of opportunity to directly inflict harm.

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Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

Nope.

They said "Don't be Evil", but apparently that turned out to be a bridge too far, too.

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

Yeah. Remembering back to the tiny bit of backlash they got when they changed away from that slogan seems positively quaint now.

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lordpnut's avatar

Why did the moose cross the road? Because fuck you, that's why.

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

When I was driving the van on the Alaskan Highway I was advised by a local that if a bear is in front of when I am driving and I can’t stop to just go and it would be like a speed bump (I know I don’t want to hit a bear, but) …but if it is a moose I need to “dive to the floor “ because it will smash the windshield and wreck me.

Sobering.

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lordpnut's avatar

Indeed. That very thing happens several times a year where I used to live in Island Park, Idaho. The snow plows create a ~10 foot bank on both sides of the road, sometimes for miles. Hitting a moose at speed is guaranteed to disable your vehicle.

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

My property is in Orofino- do you know that area?

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lordpnut's avatar

No. Where is it?

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

East of Lewiston about 45 miles on the Clearwater River.

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Merrie Mac, Libelsländerin's avatar

I'm Team Moose.

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ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

Read my lips - ectopic pregnancies are NEVER viable. The foetus needs a womb. The fallopian tubes are not a womb. This OBGYN must have graduated last in his class, or he has had a wish to murder women all along and this was his chance. Either way, he needs to be run out of the business.

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Katherine Harris's avatar

I was confused about that 1% statistic because I kept thinking, “Aren’t all the structures a fetus needs to develop successfully in the uterus? I’m pretty sure there’s no placenta in the fallopian tubes.”

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ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

The 1% is fictitious. What happens is that the fallopian tube bursts and creates a situation that, if untreated immediately, causes the death of the woman. I've known two women in my life who developed ectopic pregnancies. When the issue was identified, it was treated as an extreme emergency and both women were in surgery within a couple of hours.

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

It would be the second one...

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Alpaca22's avatar

My mum died from an ectopic pregnancy. FUCK these bastards

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Mark Linimon's avatar

I'm sorry for your loss.

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Heidi L 🇵🇸 🇺🇦's avatar

Even worse, it sounded from the article like the denying doctor was female.

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Ellie Alive In 25's avatar

The doctor, following the commands of the USCCB (United States Conference of Catholic Bishops), would have removed the woman's remaining Fallopian tube, if it had become "infected." Because then, it wouldn't be an abortion - the abortion would be an unfortunate side effect of having an infected body part removed.

Why anyone seeking medical help should be sure doctor/hospital is not under the auspices of the USCCB. I would still go to a local hospital for care, because it's close and familiar, but I'm not pregnant. You have to know what you're getting these days with the USCCB trying to merge with hospitals and medical groups all over the country.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

Sounds a lot like Jamie Reed was a mole who went to work at the Transgender Center under false pretenses.

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Bupkus231's avatar

In re TPUSA's attempt to "counter-program" the Super Bowl halftime show:

Lara Trump has offered to perform in that show, altho' she hasn't been asked. ANyone wanna bet she gets asked now?

Link: https://www.thedailybeast.com/lara-trump-offers-herself-up-to-perform-at-tpusa-halftime-show/

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

She's offering herself as tribute, Hunger Games-style. Don't you people recognize greatness when you see it?

/s

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Kobayashi Marooned's avatar

Is that Lara "constipated cat screeching" Trump?

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ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

Geez that would only be okay if she got booed off the stage

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