Why Are People Mad About The Nutcracker? Tabs, Wed., Dec. 20, 2023

People are always mad about the nutcracker. We covered it last week anyway. Morning news roundup!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

So is the Colorado state supreme court gonna throw Trump off the ballot? Yeeeppp. A lower court had found he committed insurrection but that the office of president is not an “office.” State supreme court disagreed! David Pepper with the analysis. Expect it to get to the Supreme Court but vite.

The AP covers the case of Brittany Watts, the Black Ohio woman who miscarried on the toilet after being sent home from the hospital four times over three days, and the grand jury that decided to prosecute her for not handling her dead fetus with the proper flag protocols. (A nurse had finked her out to 911 for coming back “no longer pregnant” and saying — her lawyer denies it and who the fuck asked you? — that she didn’t want a baby. The pregnancy was already bleeding out of her.) Please mop your floor so you’ll have a clean place for lying on. Oh, and the cops broke her toilet to seize the fetus for evidence.

Related, I don’t know why you’re all turning your noses up at reading The Split. No, you don’t need to tell me. Well, I like it.

Normalizing overturning the voters’ will, Ohio abortion edition (and so much more). — Jessica Valenti’s Abortion Every Day

Every post-Roe v. Wade worst case scenario (all of which I pooh-poohed in my book, back when I was vaguely pro-life, and it is mortifying) is coming true before our eyes. — Molly Jong Fast in Vanity Fair

One more:

At a court hearing in Comanche County in August, a prosecutor argued Gunsolus broke the law because her unborn child did not have its own, separate state license to use medical marijuana. 

Her baby’s healthy. Her doctor recommended the marijuana cream, which is a legal medication in Oklahoma. She’s being prosecuted anyway. — The Frontier

Kareem Abdul Jabbar broke his hip at a Manhattan Transfer concert after teaching the band to sing. Best wishes and quick healing to the most erudite fellow! (Kareem Abdul Jabbar)

Here’s my favorite Manhattan Transfer song maybe. We also know every word to “Birdland” because it was the only cassette we had for a weeklong trip in a rented RV to San Felipe when I was six. (Wait, no, two cassettes: that and the Doors.)

Oh, they wanted to January 6 the Supreme Court too? I’m sure that would have been fine. — Talking Points Memo

Mark Meadows would rather not let Fulton County DA Fani Willis prosecute him, thank you. Judges tell him to get bent. (Jeff Tiedrich)

Meanwhile, what the AP learned at Donald Trump’s fraud trial. (It is “the true meaning of Christmas.”)

SER gave you this tab yesterday and I’m giving it to you again, it’s that good. Our Liz on Rudy Giuliani, may his memory be a … wait, no. (Law and Chaos)

Thom Hartmann’s history of the morbidly rich’s war on the middle class and the fascism they’ve been inciting for 60 years — he cites the much longer than 60 years ago Edmund Burke, Andrew Sullivan’s favorite philosopher, and ewwwww — is depressing! You’ll probably like it.

The Village Voice interviews Bradley Onishi on the white Christian nationalists who have been doing violence, and are ready to do it more, still, again.

Nothing about any of this is okay. The Israeli soldiers who shot the hostages; a West Bank rightwing extremist “youth” who killed a guy who had just stopped a terrorist attack; and the ongoing extremism in the IDF and civilian government trying to put guns in Israeli civilian hands, to what end we lib do-gooders would consider “exactly what we expected.” — Josh Marshall at Talking Points Memo

I never have Christmas blues — I don’t think? — but this year the combination of trying to get the house and large family ready to leave for three days in LA for my dad’s funeral (a day I’m working), to return in the wee hours of Christmas Eve, and mom’s Alzheimer’s and a whirlwind, destabilizing trip from our usual home and routine together does not sound full of joy and delight, and we’re half-staffed for the next two weeks so I’m borrowing trouble already for how hard next week is going to be and it has never felt this hard before. Which now that I think about it is just flat untrue, when I bought this bitch I was working 16-18 hours a day, drinking by noon and crying every night. It’s so easy now! I have so much help! But where was I going, yes, this from Garrett Bucks at the White Pages is so lovely and optimistic, about doing the work, being the change, 2024 is scary, 2023 wasn’t awesome, except in the ways that it was, we will do the work and do what we can.

Detroit and friends in driving distance thereof! Shy and I are having you for New Year’s Day Bloody Mary Bar Brunch! New Year’s Day, noon to 3 p.m. May you bring a dish to share? Only if you would love to! Email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com to let me know you are coming and get my address, header: BLOODY MARY BLOODY MARY. Let’s love each other. I need it.

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