762 Comments
User's avatar
Stephanie Hobbs's avatar

He's as rotten inside as outside?

Tessie's avatar

"Every Friday evening after work, Mr. Burns undergoes a series of medical treatments designed to cheat death for another week." -- Waylon Smithers

Nicole Koretsky's avatar

He works for us. We have to remember that every day. They all work for us. It's not as though we're asking about our weird boss at a private company. Americans need to remember that and reclaim power.

I hope the 23rd specialist is the pathologist.

BlueSpot's avatar

Day after day, his hands turn grey, like the skin on a dying man.

And night after night, they pretend he's all right;

But we have become bolder, as he has grown older, and his antics are not fooling us anymore.

And we feel one of his turns coming on:

He feels the cold steel of the razor blade, the tightness of the tourniquet, the dry boom of the funeral drum . . . .

larry gassan's avatar

"We are shackled to a corpse."

—Attributed to Helmuth von Moltke the Younger

Tessie's avatar

Weekend at Bernie's, only a lot less fun.

Littorally Speaking's avatar

#ReleaseTheClockDrawings

Paulinho's avatar

Don't insult Rasputin that way. He was a normal guy with nine lives. lol

eddi-SABH's avatar

One day, right after the Epstein Files, someone will leak Trump's medical history. The unabridged version.

Goonemeritus's avatar

I would like to believe if the situation called for it I would piss on Trump.

Hank Napkin's avatar

Gotta say it again:

'HAY BALE' or 'HEY! BAIL!'

jltympanum's avatar

Ha! Nitpicker here. Caught one: "... wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire". Should be "if he WERE on fire".

Eeee's avatar

Hahaha I don't know, some insults are more emotionally satisfying when you ignore grammar stuff

Sharon Dymond's avatar

"to have his anal glands expressed like a shih tzu."

OMG! Snort, cackle, laugh, titter, tee-hee, squeal, gasp, gag, choke, wheeze, hoot, hee-hee, ho-ho, ha-ha, guffaw, holler, howl, spit, lol, giggle, chortle, cough, lol, lulz, roflmao

Always Be Ithacating's avatar

I would bet big money that Trump has at least three podiatrists.

And that the dementia tests are mostly a treat for him to brag about, like a lollipop for a big boy who lets the doctors examine him.

archy's avatar

The Free World is letting him off easy by not pissing on him if he's on fire.

Me, I wouldn't piss down his throat if his lungs were on fire.

Rob Roser's avatar

Are there even 22 different specialties?

eddi-SABH's avatar

Trump's ailments are opening new fields in medicine.

Ill-Advised's avatar

He'll probably qualify the creation of DSM-47, the Trump Edition.

CzechJournalists's avatar

but, he hates Harvard. . .