350 Comments
User's avatar
Martini Glambassador's avatar

You’ve got world-record doggos in your hed gif today with footage via CBS news. More info here: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/skipping-into-the-record-books

Expand full comment
Anaid's avatar

That is so cool and impressive!!

Expand full comment
RandomNameAllocated's avatar

Yeah.... now lets see you do that with cats!

Expand full comment
Ill-Advised's avatar

I'm still amazed Thornton uses his (bought-for- purpose?) basket. Are we sure he's a real cat? The only place Earl Grey won't sleep is her own fabric cave.

Expand full comment
Noma Larkey's avatar

Who trained these doggos? Free month of room & board if they can come to my house and get my 18month old hound comfortable with the crate thing and staying alone for more than an hour. We were slowly progressing with the crate, then had a setback yesterday. I’m too old for this!

Expand full comment
Bruce's avatar

The best thing we ever did for separation anxiety was to get a second doggo to keep the first one company.

Also because dogs are very egalitarian, any damnfool idea (like "lets knock over the garbage and spread it all over the house!") dog 1 comes up with has to meet the approval of dog 2. (this makes three dogs more dangerous because it only takes two of 3 to agree to the damnfool idea)

Expand full comment
TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Who tie-dyed them poodles? Those dogs are awesome!

Expand full comment
Menotsure's avatar

I'm pretty sure that Edward R. Murrow or Walter Cronkite would have had second thoughts about covering that.

Expand full comment
Goin Green's avatar

Beale would have done it, but he wouldn't have been happy about it.

Expand full comment
Menotsure's avatar

Ring Lardner was way ahead of his time with that screenplay.

Expand full comment
Goin Green's avatar

He'd find nowadays pretty homey, wouldn't he?

Expand full comment
Zap's avatar

Yeah. I've heard he's mad as hell and not going to take it anymore.

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment deleted
Aug 23, 2023
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
Menotsure's avatar

Followed by "And that's the way it is ..."

Expand full comment
Goin Green's avatar

And 2 cigarettes... and a scotch neat off cam.

Expand full comment
eliz_'s avatar

I skipped even reading the actual tabs to immediately comment on the hed gif, because it's so freaking awesome. Thank you!

Expand full comment
Sojourner Truth's avatar

Good thing Biden wasn't there. He would have patted their heads and we would have lost the world record to Chinese dogs.

Expand full comment
Martini Glambassador's avatar

Liberal dogs just don’t want work!

Expand full comment
GEM's avatar

This a.m., 5 to be exact, I'm all, "Whar Tabs!?!!"

Whew. That was close.Thanks, Dok

Expand full comment
CrossBordered's avatar

Did Putin run out of windows? Prigozhin plane crash. Quelle surprise.

Expand full comment
3FingerPete's avatar

Have you heard about the Hawaiian Blue Laser of Death? It's the next Snowballs That Don't Melt craze.

https://twitter.com/JRV_503/status/1693648763078975777

Expand full comment
cmd Human Scum's avatar

Saw that Rudy has landed (in a private plane maybe belonging to Bernie Kerik) in NE Atlanta. TV was saying he hasn't negotiated a bond yet but hopes to do that and turn himself in in one day. Whatever dumbass was reporting was talking about how Rudy was such a RICO expert that this would help him negotiate. I also read somewhere that he's still looking for a GA lawyer. Maybe he'll pro se negotiate....

Expand full comment
DrBDH's avatar

At this rate, Giuliani will be represented by "Injured? Call Now! You Don't Pay Unless We Win! Personal Injury Attorneys On-Line 1-800 -GEO-RGIA."

Expand full comment
ziggywiggy's avatar

E-bikes and scooters are great except they do have a couple serious issues that need to be addressed.

We really need them, and I'd love if someone gifted me one BUT, I kind of hate them(this is a big city problem.) I worry I'll get run down by an asshole on one or my apartment building will catch on fire from the batteries being charged.

A couple times a week I'm dodging one of these menaces who are on the sidewalk, running traffic lights and stop signs or going the wrong way down one way streets. They are heavier and faster than regular bikes, getting hit by an e-bike is probably sending you to the hospital. It is an asshole problem too, if an asshole is not riding it, then you're safer.

Then there are the fires started by charging and storing batteries in people's apartments. Fires sparked by these batteries are fast-moving and tough to extinguish.

"NYC, FDNY stepping up enforcement, inspection on e-bike batteries after deadly fire

June 21, 2023"

"this latest incident is the 108th fire related to lithium-ion batteries this year, totaling 13 fatalities."

https://abc7ny.com/lower-east-side-fire-e-bike-shop-manhattan-ebike/13410844/

So yes push for these things but plan for the issues that come with them.

Expand full comment
fakeconsultant's avatar

One of the challenges associated with battery fires is that you need a lot more water than you need putting out other types of fires; so much so that fire departments are starting to adopt fire blankets that deny the fire a source of oxygen

Don't know how that would work when you don't have access to a fairly fire resistant floor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3db6Wyl9CSQ

Expand full comment
TalentNotAutotune's avatar

If they use the same lighting for PAB's mugshot, he is going to go apeshit over the results.

Expand full comment
Quercus's avatar

“Excellent…” Burns gif

Expand full comment
Bindersfulohostbodies's avatar

They suggest a rather regimented approach to “chaos gardening” and that’s the opposite of what is the intended experience. Till the soil first, or don’t, then take all your seeds and pitch them onto the soil. Water it gently and walk away. Some seeds do require stratification before they will sprout. Others might require different amounts of nutrients in the soil. Those will either sprout next year, or maybe not at all. Doesn’t matter. If you want total control over every type of seed, then don’t lean into chaos as a therapeutic exercise. Nature doesn’t do such absolute control. It also doesn’t bury most seeds. Circumstance plays a huge role. The point is to embrace the unknown, unpredictable circumstances. Don’t overthink it.

Expand full comment
GEM's avatar

I'm a chaos gardener. It's usually chaos.

Expand full comment
R. Riddle's avatar

Sort of like Marianne Williamson voters figuring out how to fill out the rest of their ballot.

Expand full comment
Bupkus231's avatar

Now, for your dining "pleasure", a new product from Kellogg's

Link: https://www.washingtonpost.com/food/2023/08/22/eggo-brunch-in-a-jar-alcohol/

"...Eggo’s new “Brunch in a Jar” drink, a boozy concoction whose Wonka-esque creators designed to impart all the tastes you might find on a combination platter at your local diner — “toasted Eggo waffles, sweet maple syrup and rich butter, with a hint of smoky bacon,” per the promotional materials — in a single glass. The drink is the product of a collaboration with Tennessee-based Sugarlands Distilling, whose rum-infused Appalachian Sippin’ Cream forms the base of the Eggo drink...."

Yuck!

Expand full comment
Satanic Pancake's avatar

Hey, at least the kids go to bed early after getting breakfast for dinner. Passed out under the dining room table is close enough to bed, right?

Expand full comment
OneWhiteWhisker's avatar

I'm a chaos gardener and I didn't even know it :)

Expand full comment
Shocktreatment's avatar

Among my favorite theaters, among my favorite genres...

"Starting Friday, NOIR CITY: CHICAGO returns to the Music Box to celebrate “Film Noir in 1948!”

From August 25th-31st, the heart of Hollywood’s noir movement is back, with tales of passion and betrayal, crime and justice, love, lust, greed, and murder, co-presented by the Film Noir Foundation..."

Expand full comment
Antifa Commander's avatar

Everybody was a-chaos gardening…huh! [hoes* hit the ground at once]

And Trump won’t do no pardoning…huu!

‘Cause the ketchup flies this marning…ooo!

Indictments without warning…hah!

*garden implements, you pervs!

Expand full comment
Resource NW's avatar

Read the last as Thornton pie. Still works.

Expand full comment
Skunk Formerly Known As Stoner's avatar

Of COURSE one of the fake electors in Michigan is from Grand Blanc. It’s right in the name!!!

(Grand Blanc is an uber-white suburb of Flint, where I grew up.)

Expand full comment
carovee's avatar

RE: Hearstoppers. They main characters are boys and they hold hands. Sometimes even kiss. Ergo PRON. QED. /s I hate and fear how effective all this censorship in libraries and schools have gotten. This real, real bad people.

Expand full comment