Since this post is about getting someone out of prison, I will share my last half hour's frustration with the Missouri Parole Board.
I want to send a letter of support for early release of one of the inmates I advocate for. So I go online to find their mailing address.
I found 4 different mailing addresses. Don't know which one to use. So I call the number listed for the Parole Board. I get a voice menu with 6 options, 5 of which don't apply but the 6th is "Operator" so I pressed that. I got a recording with "The system does not recognize that as a valid input" and then kicked me back to the main menu. I tried the other 5 options, one by one, and only #1 actually connected me to someone...all the others gave me the Not Valid Input message. The one I did reach could not answer my question.
So I called the main DOC number, and I got a different voice menu, with 8 choices, and again only #1 actually worked...the other 7 all gave me the Not Valid Input message. The one I did reach couldn't help me either and she had a bad attitude and was snippy with me.
So I called the Governor's office just to let them know that these various phone menu systems are not working. They transferred me to another office, who could not help me and told me to send an email to the DOC. I told her No Fucking Way and that I'd already spent 20 minutes trying to alert the fucking State of Missouri that their fucking phone systems weren't fucking working and got nowhere, and I'm DONE WITH THIS SHIT. Except I said it politely. Assertively, but politely.
So I tried to be a responsible citizen and report that their phone systems are all fucked up and all I got was attitude and incompetence. No surprise there.
UPDATE: I did my taxes today and I owe ZERO to the State of Missouri, which is exactly what they deserve from me.
What really bothers me is that almost all circuit clerks and circuit courts now have these phone menu systems, which means that no jail or prison inmate can ever call them. Sometimes they need to know when a court date is or if additional charges have been filed, and prison officials won't tell them, and they can't call using the inmate phone system because a live person has to answer their call and press "1" to accept the call.
So they call me and I call the court and then I have to email the inmate the info.
It should be illegal for any court at any level to use those menu systems, because some people HAVE to call them but CAN'T call them. This makes me furious.
Boston Globe: "Attorney General Pam Bondi subpoenaed to answer questions from Congress about the Epstein files"
It's in about a month so Pami's staff will have time to put together another of those "burn books" she uses to go on the attack and avoid answering question.
Stuff like this is why Pam Bondi is not going anywhere. She is uniquely qualified to do this criminal stuff--knows the system, which buttons to push, has no sense of morals or ethics, and is absolutely committed to protecting PAB and going after his enemies.
From the article: The Hill’s Alexander Bolton reported on Tuesday that another GOP Senator, speaking on the condition of anonymity, also worries the bill will hurt rural voters.
Sad you have to be anonymous to give a shit about rural voters.
My Mom would have to get a new passport to vote. She's going to do that anyway, but I don't think she knows about this law yet. Birb will have to tell her.
Ok shipmates, let’s go through this one more time: describing multiple countries* as “America”s allies” is outdated at best. The world isn’t binary, it probably never was. Countries have fellow travellers at best and to see everything through the lens of their relationship with the US ignores other, often more important, relationships.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
*two points for the first person to rise to the bait.
‘We Are Better Than This,’ Say Ninth Circuit Judges Despite All Evidence To The Contrary
Total dick writes about 'swinging dicks' in trans discrimination case, prompting fellow judges to beg for basic professionalism.
Judge Lawrence VanDyke of the Ninth Circuit, is an unqualified hack. The ABA noted as much when it rated him “not qualified” upon his nomination, calling him “arrogant, lazy, an ideologue, and lacking in knowledge of the day-to-day practice including procedural rules.” In response, the second Trump administration banned the ABA’s input on judicial qualifications. He has since spent his tenure confirming their prescience with a string of unhinged and juvenile dissents that have compared his colleagues to criminals, insulted them as “possessed,” and prompted pointed rebukes from his own court.
In Olympus Spa v. Armstrong, a discrimination case involving a women only spa that extended its ban to pre-operative transgender women in violation of state law, VanDyke authored a dissent, which opens thusly…
Maybe it’s just me, but it feels as though something subtle changed when the intellectual lodestar of the conservative movement shifted from William F. Buckley to Kid Rock.
Other conservative judges on the panel wrote more substantive dissents, managing to avoid the phrase “swinging dicks” while laying out a vision of First Amendment religious protection that would allow business owners to discriminate on the basis of sex. The phrase also doesn’t really make sense to the extent “swinging dicks” is a colloquialism for aggressive, ego-driven men embarrassing themselves in childish displays of dominance. In a sense, this is a case about swinging dicks, but it describes exactly one person in this entire dispute, and it’s the total dick who typed it into his dissent to get this kind of attention in the first place.
I had a drill sergeant that said "swinging dick". As in, "All you swinging dicks are going to be there." I had never heard anyone ever say that phrase outside of basic training.
I've used it and I don't even know where I got it. As in "They let any swinging dick in the place." I think I may have heard it in a Stephen King novel, LOL!
This is the shit the Dump has dragged this country down into. He's given them permission to be their worst selves (of course they don't have any other self).
He should be thrown off the fucking bench for that disgusting, inappropriate language in a professional situation.
QUANTICO, VA—Wincing as the bureau’s director breathlessly staggered to his feet during their first training seminar with professional MMA athletes, a group of FBI agents reportedly watched in silence over the weekend as Kash Patel got his ass kicked by a UFC fighter. According to sources, the agents shifted uncomfortably on the sidelines of a makeshift octagon at the FBI Academy gym while reigning UFC lightweight champion Justin Gaethje pummeled Patel with a barrage of jabs, hooks, and leg kicks in a demonstration meant to improve the agents’ effectiveness in the field. Eyewitnesses confirmed that several agents exhaled sharply as the visibly woozy Patel was bowled over for a protracted ground-and-pound from the seasoned fighter, with Patel emitting a ragged squealing sound as Gaethje’s elbow repeatedly struck him in the solar plexus. A hoarse Patel is said to have gasped, “See how he’s putting me in this triangle choke?” to the impassive crowd before crossing his eyes and falling completely limp. At press time, several agents were seen exchanging glances of slight concern after the bruised, urine-soaked Kash Patel had not stirred from unconsciousness for three minutes.
Red Bull and Ford are working on an ingenious engine solution that will harness the moisture from Max Verstappen’s tears over the 2026 regulations and use them to help generate more power.
OT, sorta: Chief Justice Roberts released a statement after The Homunculus excoriated the Supreme Court and other parts of the judiciary, saying that attacks on judges "must stop."
Yeah, Johnny Grins? Don't hold your fucking breath; you helped create this monster.
I just hope the next Democratic president and Congress impeach and remove the 6 SC assholes who brought this shame on America and indict them for treason, along with a bunch of sycophantic assholes cramming inside Gashole's ass
Since this post is about getting someone out of prison, I will share my last half hour's frustration with the Missouri Parole Board.
I want to send a letter of support for early release of one of the inmates I advocate for. So I go online to find their mailing address.
I found 4 different mailing addresses. Don't know which one to use. So I call the number listed for the Parole Board. I get a voice menu with 6 options, 5 of which don't apply but the 6th is "Operator" so I pressed that. I got a recording with "The system does not recognize that as a valid input" and then kicked me back to the main menu. I tried the other 5 options, one by one, and only #1 actually connected me to someone...all the others gave me the Not Valid Input message. The one I did reach could not answer my question.
So I called the main DOC number, and I got a different voice menu, with 8 choices, and again only #1 actually worked...the other 7 all gave me the Not Valid Input message. The one I did reach couldn't help me either and she had a bad attitude and was snippy with me.
So I called the Governor's office just to let them know that these various phone menu systems are not working. They transferred me to another office, who could not help me and told me to send an email to the DOC. I told her No Fucking Way and that I'd already spent 20 minutes trying to alert the fucking State of Missouri that their fucking phone systems weren't fucking working and got nowhere, and I'm DONE WITH THIS SHIT. Except I said it politely. Assertively, but politely.
So I tried to be a responsible citizen and report that their phone systems are all fucked up and all I got was attitude and incompetence. No surprise there.
UPDATE: I did my taxes today and I owe ZERO to the State of Missouri, which is exactly what they deserve from me.
Missouri should be paying you for what you have been through!
Sigh.
Missouri government and its facilities are the worst part of Missouri, except for the Dept. of Conservation, they're okay.
What really bothers me is that almost all circuit clerks and circuit courts now have these phone menu systems, which means that no jail or prison inmate can ever call them. Sometimes they need to know when a court date is or if additional charges have been filed, and prison officials won't tell them, and they can't call using the inmate phone system because a live person has to answer their call and press "1" to accept the call.
So they call me and I call the court and then I have to email the inmate the info.
It should be illegal for any court at any level to use those menu systems, because some people HAVE to call them but CAN'T call them. This makes me furious.
Agreed.
True If I call my local Conservation office an actual live person answers the phone. I guess they didn't get the memo saying Customer Service Is Dead.
Boston Globe: "Attorney General Pam Bondi subpoenaed to answer questions from Congress about the Epstein files"
It's in about a month so Pami's staff will have time to put together another of those "burn books" she uses to go on the attack and avoid answering question.
Fuck that arsonist John Roberts.
Stuff like this is why Pam Bondi is not going anywhere. She is uniquely qualified to do this criminal stuff--knows the system, which buttons to push, has no sense of morals or ethics, and is absolutely committed to protecting PAB and going after his enemies.
She's been invited to share. If she lies under oath, she is a done bitch.
okaaaaaaaay it lit!
yrrr
smoking lamp?
it is lit yes
Rot Roh, Kushy is in big trouble. Them thar bribes did not buy what they expected.
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c3f3d37772b5377f4f16e993af96de66eaa43a6217968508a4227a649e56b12c.jpg
https://eu.news-pravda.com/russia/2026/03/15/177243.html
I pass it over to the excellent Kenan Thompson
https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTZjMDliOTUydWt6bnV0ODJ1dzl3bWpsZWFrNWRmMXNzdXo2MDN4M3loZ2czdGl1eiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/lTB6FKY1fmAZhhv1En/source.gif
FOTUS told the press he spoke to a former POTUS who told him of the Iran war, "I wish I would have done that." He would not say which one.
Aides of all former POTUS said it wasn't their bosses.
Either he is lying or believes he spoke to one. It's either/or. I can't think of another option.
He’s lying. And he doesn’t care if he gets caught in a lie, because you’re fake news and also (if female) a nasty piggy.
Wouldn’t that be a fine how-do-you-do if his handlers are faking stuff like that to him now.
More likely explanation is tha he’s just lying.
Simple. He was talking to #45.
https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_fullsize/plain/did:plc:z6rujpf4u56jfie7aqic2nfg/bafkreienrzra34lxsqhymowxnyuiyijcbsqdhdlsmbzeaa25rn3ifxhtiq
They definitely got their money's worth getting TFG elected.
Nice times.
Key GOP Senator Says Trump’s SAVE Act is Dead: ‘It’s Not Going to Pass’
https://www.mediaite.com/politics/key-gop-senator-says-trumps-save-act-is-dead-its-not-going-to-pass/
From the article: The Hill’s Alexander Bolton reported on Tuesday that another GOP Senator, speaking on the condition of anonymity, also worries the bill will hurt rural voters.
Sad you have to be anonymous to give a shit about rural voters.
My Mom would have to get a new passport to vote. She's going to do that anyway, but I don't think she knows about this law yet. Birb will have to tell her.
She is not going to be happppi.
Ok shipmates, let’s go through this one more time: describing multiple countries* as “America”s allies” is outdated at best. The world isn’t binary, it probably never was. Countries have fellow travellers at best and to see everything through the lens of their relationship with the US ignores other, often more important, relationships.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
*two points for the first person to rise to the bait.
OT: Good stuff, Wisconsin LGBTQ Historical Markers:
https://urbanmilwaukee.com/pressrelease/wisconsin-lgbtw-history-project-achieves-pre-approval-for-new-state-historic-markers/
Yay!
‘We Are Better Than This,’ Say Ninth Circuit Judges Despite All Evidence To The Contrary
Total dick writes about 'swinging dicks' in trans discrimination case, prompting fellow judges to beg for basic professionalism.
Judge Lawrence VanDyke of the Ninth Circuit, is an unqualified hack. The ABA noted as much when it rated him “not qualified” upon his nomination, calling him “arrogant, lazy, an ideologue, and lacking in knowledge of the day-to-day practice including procedural rules.” In response, the second Trump administration banned the ABA’s input on judicial qualifications. He has since spent his tenure confirming their prescience with a string of unhinged and juvenile dissents that have compared his colleagues to criminals, insulted them as “possessed,” and prompted pointed rebukes from his own court.
In Olympus Spa v. Armstrong, a discrimination case involving a women only spa that extended its ban to pre-operative transgender women in violation of state law, VanDyke authored a dissent, which opens thusly…
Maybe it’s just me, but it feels as though something subtle changed when the intellectual lodestar of the conservative movement shifted from William F. Buckley to Kid Rock.
Other conservative judges on the panel wrote more substantive dissents, managing to avoid the phrase “swinging dicks” while laying out a vision of First Amendment religious protection that would allow business owners to discriminate on the basis of sex. The phrase also doesn’t really make sense to the extent “swinging dicks” is a colloquialism for aggressive, ego-driven men embarrassing themselves in childish displays of dominance. In a sense, this is a case about swinging dicks, but it describes exactly one person in this entire dispute, and it’s the total dick who typed it into his dissent to get this kind of attention in the first place.
https://abovethelaw.com/2026/03/we-are-better-than-this-say-ninth-circuit-judges-despite-all-evidence-to-the-contrary/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&utm_campaign=fark&ICID=ref_fark
I had a drill sergeant that said "swinging dick". As in, "All you swinging dicks are going to be there." I had never heard anyone ever say that phrase outside of basic training.
I've used it and I don't even know where I got it. As in "They let any swinging dick in the place." I think I may have heard it in a Stephen King novel, LOL!
It’s used in various films/ tv
Better Call Saul , Platoon, No Country For Old Men etc.
This is the shit the Dump has dragged this country down into. He's given them permission to be their worst selves (of course they don't have any other self).
He should be thrown off the fucking bench for that disgusting, inappropriate language in a professional situation.
77 million of these motherfuckers needs to be thrown off the planet.
Once again...THE ONION SCORES A BULLS-EYE!
QUANTICO, VA—Wincing as the bureau’s director breathlessly staggered to his feet during their first training seminar with professional MMA athletes, a group of FBI agents reportedly watched in silence over the weekend as Kash Patel got his ass kicked by a UFC fighter. According to sources, the agents shifted uncomfortably on the sidelines of a makeshift octagon at the FBI Academy gym while reigning UFC lightweight champion Justin Gaethje pummeled Patel with a barrage of jabs, hooks, and leg kicks in a demonstration meant to improve the agents’ effectiveness in the field. Eyewitnesses confirmed that several agents exhaled sharply as the visibly woozy Patel was bowled over for a protracted ground-and-pound from the seasoned fighter, with Patel emitting a ragged squealing sound as Gaethje’s elbow repeatedly struck him in the solar plexus. A hoarse Patel is said to have gasped, “See how he’s putting me in this triangle choke?” to the impassive crowd before crossing his eyes and falling completely limp. At press time, several agents were seen exchanging glances of slight concern after the bruised, urine-soaked Kash Patel had not stirred from unconsciousness for three minutes.
https://theonion.com/fbi-agents-watch-in-silence-as-kash-patel-gets-ass-kicked-by-ufc-fighter/
"before crossing his eyes"
how could they tell?
A piss-soaked, passed-out Patel isn't a pretty picture.
Were the agents urinating on him?
"[W]ith Patel emitting a ragged squealing sound..." music to my ears, that.
I'd pay $50 to watch that on PPV
Red Bull and Ford are working on an ingenious engine solution that will harness the moisture from Max Verstappen’s tears over the 2026 regulations and use them to help generate more power.
Engineer: "HYDRATE MATE! HYDRATE!"
Max: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
Dammit! He has a self-replenishing supply of them!
Nicolle starting off with what a raging MAGAt/conspiracy theorist/election-denier Joe Kent is, and read some more from his resignation statement.
Stopped squirrel, indeed!
Trump: He was a covfefe boy!
OT, sorta: Chief Justice Roberts released a statement after The Homunculus excoriated the Supreme Court and other parts of the judiciary, saying that attacks on judges "must stop."
Yeah, Johnny Grins? Don't hold your fucking breath; you helped create this monster.
I just hope the next Democratic president and Congress impeach and remove the 6 SC assholes who brought this shame on America and indict them for treason, along with a bunch of sycophantic assholes cramming inside Gashole's ass
You broke it, you bought it, motherfucker.
He *feeds* that monster. Shadow docket and its unexplained overturning of lower court actions.
Who started that shadow docket horseshit?
So much for just calling balls and strikes, huh?
"What? I read that as licking balls and causing strikes!"
Go have a talk to Sammy and his crap wife, Johnny-boy.
In fact, many of these gobshites you work with.
"Not *my* face!!!"
Exactly
The Supreme Court will rule that it being criticized by the free press is unconstitutional. in 4....3...2..