21 Comments
User's avatar
bobbert's avatar

She's a five-year-old. Five-year-olds lie all the fucking time.

Of course, we don't usually call it "lying". We call it "being five years old", and we try to explain shit to them so they understand things better.

Or, apparently, some of us don't.

Dashboard Buddha's avatar

So much for that whole "bearing false witness" stuff.

Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

and at the bottom it says

verified by snopes- so you know it's 1000% true

The Quirk's avatar

Parents who TELL their little bundles of joy to lie are doing it worse.

The Quirk's avatar

I'm surprised this story didn't end w/ the requisite Satanic Orgy and Child Sacrifice.

The Quirk's avatar

Posting kids' pics under the hashtag #FAIL is also hideous.

Incoming Ham's avatar

Oh yes. Yes it is indeed.

Jared James's avatar

The advantage to anonymous, probably-made-up teachers is you can fire them at a moment's notice without actually reducing staffing at your school or filing any time-consuming paperwork.

Jared James's avatar

That happens in Act IV, after the mandatory evolution and abortion classes, and before the triumphal denouement.

Comrade Wingtardd's avatar

Off to the FEMA camps with her!!!! It <i>isn't</i> good to pray, it's fucking stupid

Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

Show us where on the Constitution the bad people touched you. Allegedly.

Joshua Norton's avatar

Typical wingnut urban legend in the making. "Someone" did "something" straight out of a wingnut masturbatory persecution complex fantasy "somewhere".

Never enough <i>facts</i> to pin any story down, just enough innuendo for your barely literate relatives to send a deluge of outraged emails in ALL CAPS to everyone on their mailing list.

Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

Father first, as in: Daddy's gotta clothe and feed you, honey. Now repeat the story again, only this time more convincingwise.

Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

Isn't that the one that touches back?

Fitzgerald Chesterfield's avatar

Fox Nation will probably throw this girl a pizza party :(