Will Donald Trump Save the Republicans From Themselves?

With an embarrassing personal life, multiple bankruptcies and a repulsive physical appearance, Donald Trump would seem to be an ideal Republican candidate for president. And that's why New Hampshire GOP voters are being polled on a potential candidacy by The Donald! But Trump denies he has anything to do with the poll, telling CNN, "It's not something I talked about or consider." He's really terrible at speaking -- other than saying a worn-out catch phrase, we guess? -- so it's hard to figure out what he means through that mouth full of marbles and dumbness.

 CNN reports on a CNN interview with Donald Trump regarding this CNN story about a poll perhaps mentioning Donald Trump:

CNN -- Business mogul Donald Trump is making clear he had nothing to do with a mysterious poll in New Hampshire that, accordant to TIME Magazine, asked Granite State voters about a potential Trump presidential bid.

"I never heard of this poll but I'm anxious to find out what it says. I do not know about a poll taken in New Hampshire," Trump said Monday on CNN's "American Morning."

Okay! So maybe Trump won't be covering what's left of America in vulgar gold-tinted apartment towers and hideous casinos financed with junk bonds.

We are forced to assume Sarah Palin commissioned this poll because she's "pretty sure Donald Trump is Newt Gingrich, whoever that is." [ CNN ]