710 Comments
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Wondering Woman's avatar

I wouldn't set foot on a ship named after the PAB. If that ever gets close to happening, the amount of instant and lasting ridicule will follow her forever. "Did you hear that the Trump can't get the planes off?" The jokes write themselves.

Dave Hayman's avatar

What's wrong with Hegseth's jeans? Damn, there's plenty of real problems about him, you don't need such a stretch!

larry gassan's avatar

Kegsbreath’s wife is Mrs Three-Pete. TYFYATM.

Teddy Barnes's avatar

At least Pence didn't need 'Mother' with him at all times. *He's still a chode......just sayin'.

Mark Lungo's avatar

Is it really so ridiculous for Hegseth to think he could become president? Look who his boss is.

Wondering Woman's avatar

Yeah, we've already taken the idea that anyone can become president waaay too far.

Spleen Victoria's avatar

The Jack line is 🤌but could be Johnny, more likely to be Jturpentine or Jmouthwash according to his rep.

James's avatar

Silly Question Time: Isn't Sparkle Pony's campaign stump appearance violating the Hatch Act? I mean I don't expect anybody in this regime to actually *enforce* the Hatch Act, but it would be good to get it into the record.

eddi-SABH's avatar

H4egseth is inspired by the fact Trump won with God's help. I didn't know God's first name was Vladimir.

Andy Reed's avatar

Actually, it's illegal under the Hatch Act for Mr. Hex-eth to go out on the campaign trail on behalf of a partisan candidate unless he paid his entire way and was on leave from his job at the Pentagon. Second it's illegal under all sorts of National Security laws for him to share highly classified information with anyone who does not have a top level security clearance, which clearly his wife does not.

Third, boy I hope he runs for president. He'll demonstrate that the Republican Party can actually go lower than Trump in terms of IQ and competence.

Rosemary Orlandi's avatar

why the fuck are we speculating on whether Pete runs or not ? we should be planning his trial for war crimes.

Andy Reed's avatar

I totally agree, and hopefully some in DC are doing that. But my comment was about the current speculation that he's apparently considering running, which is also what the article was about. The war crimes and other illegal behaviors are a whole separate issue. I try to stay germane to the article's subject. Sorry that you disapprove.

Rylie's avatar

Yeah I wish there was less casual misogyny in his stuff. It's funny otherwise

beb's avatar

secretary of (losing) Wars is typical of Trump's cabinet, there is not on competent person there, aand most seem picked for their ability to destroy the department they have been put in charge of.

Rosemary Orlandi's avatar

actually, I'm pretty sure that it is purposeful planning.

eddi-SABH's avatar

As Shrub said, "Mission Accomplished!"

boo radley's avatar

in my experience a) an alcoholic can be expert at sneaking alcohol regardless of 24/7 babysitting and b) if he can't behave the way he wants to without her literal physical presence he should be nowhere near positions of power, not even looking toward them. But we knew this.

Wondering Woman's avatar

He figured if Kavenaugh could become a Supreme Court Justice, then drinking isn't the disqualifier that it used to be. Bet Pete's day drinking ramped up within the first month of being on the job.

Rosemary Orlandi's avatar

he is just as dangerous as a "dry drunk" . I'm in recovery, and his rage and anger speaks to that very behavior. He's being "forced" to stay sober, but he has developed no tools to help himself. He will eventually self destruct, but not before a war crimes trial.

Ron Spangler's avatar

It took a lot of presidents to lose the Vietnam war, but LBJ bore the political consequences of it. Hegseth and Trump's war is small and stupid and they lost it all by themselves. I think we all know who's gonna pay for that one at the ballot box.

Maybe's avatar

I don't know if he need a chaperone (keeper, attendant?), but it seems certain that he needs a designated driver.

VelveetaSneeze's avatar

"[A]nd all the little girls who lost their lives at school the first day because of Pete Hegseth’s incompetence?" Respectfully, I object to this passive construction, which allows him to shirk responsibility and lessen the outright evilness of his actions. This POS murdered nearly 200 young girls, and in doing so, he destroyed nearly 200 families, and he should never be allowed to forget it.

Chino Cherokee's avatar

Many, many more than 200 families.

Families of the little girls.

Families of friends of the little girls.

Families of neighbors of the little girls.

Families of the teachers of the little girls.

Families of students who survived.

Thousands and thousands of families.

Secretary War Crime fucking murdered those little girls and created outgoing waves of destruction.

He should be arrested, tried, and HUNG.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Don't forget the equally cascading victims across the way vis a vis Venezuelan fishermen.

Oh, and he should be arrested, tried, and hanged. No way he's ever going to be hung.

larry gassan's avatar

It would be the first and last time he’d be well-hung.

VelveetaSneeze's avatar

Exactly exactly. That’s the cost of war.

Chino Cherokee's avatar

Especially a very poorly thought out, totally UN-planned, stupid war.

VelveetaSneeze's avatar

"We do training, not trannies." He didn't need to tell us that he prefers masculine-presenting men. He's made that abundantly clear in his repeated attempts to give the military men a makeover that is better suited to his taste. In the end, though, he really just wants to fuck himself, like most narcissists.

(I'm commenting as I'm reading, because I just cannot with this loser. Ugh.)

Wondering Woman's avatar

Compensating all the way

Andy Reed's avatar

Imagine how excited he'd get in a locker room with Arnold Palmer's humongous dick.

larry gassan's avatar

“That’s a many 9-wood ya got there!”