Satire from The Borowitz ReportPutin Starting to Wonder If His Puppets Are Smart Enough to Pull This OffPutin knew that “there were bound to be some growing pains,” a source close to the Russian President said. “But geez.”
Trump Says He Has Been Treated Very Unfairly by People Who Wrote Constitution“When literally everything I want to do is magically a violation of the Constitution, that’s very unfair and bad treatment,” Trump said.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The Federal Bureau of Investigation is special-ordering a pair of “tiny handcuffs,” an F.B.I. spokesman confirmed on Wednesday.
The spokesman, Harland Dorrinson, downplayed the significance of the handcuff purchase, calling it “strictly routine.”
“In reviewing our inventory of handcuffs, we found that we only had models that fit normal-sized hands,” Dorrinson said.
I read somewhere that a Manafort pardon would make him ineligible for pleading the fifth, thus it would be stupid for Trump to pardon him while the Mueller investigation is ongoing. True? I don't know, not a lawyer here. Also, since there are still charges pending against Manafort it might be a waste of time to pardon him now only to have to pardon him again later. Is that how it works? I don't know, not a lawyer, but it makes a certain logical sense.
Satire from The Borowitz ReportPutin Starting to Wonder If His Puppets Are Smart Enough to Pull This OffPutin knew that “there were bound to be some growing pains,” a source close to the Russian President said. “But geez.”
Trump Says He Has Been Treated Very Unfairly by People Who Wrote Constitution“When literally everything I want to do is magically a violation of the Constitution, that’s very unfair and bad treatment,” Trump said.
F.B.I. to Special-Order a Pair of Tiny Handcuffs
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The Federal Bureau of Investigation is special-ordering a pair of “tiny handcuffs,” an F.B.I. spokesman confirmed on Wednesday.
The spokesman, Harland Dorrinson, downplayed the significance of the handcuff purchase, calling it “strictly routine.”
“In reviewing our inventory of handcuffs, we found that we only had models that fit normal-sized hands,” Dorrinson said.
Because installing a Dominionist theocrat as next in line to a corrupt traitor is how you buy the evangelical vote.
I read somewhere that a Manafort pardon would make him ineligible for pleading the fifth, thus it would be stupid for Trump to pardon him while the Mueller investigation is ongoing. True? I don't know, not a lawyer here. Also, since there are still charges pending against Manafort it might be a waste of time to pardon him now only to have to pardon him again later. Is that how it works? I don't know, not a lawyer, but it makes a certain logical sense.
With any luck, they were full of benzene.
Ye gods and little fishes. Even Vlad couldn't have imagined that his asset Donnie would turn out to be this valuable.
There's a special 'friend of Mr Trump' tax added to the bill.
Anyone know which golf course in Scotland? Asking for a friend . . .
Edit: It will be one of Trump’s won’t it? And Rudy will still have to pay.
#bebest
4 days and 32 hours would be even better. We would live better lives AND the unemployment rate would plummet.
All that stands between us and a 4 day week is the same thing that stood between us and a 5 day week.
(Edit: Here in Australia the standard week is 37.5 hours and 4 wks vacation. It's every bit as good as it sounds.)
I remember him. American Psycho killed a squad of Marines
Show your work
That would be...................... tragic, I guess
Actually talked to guests about LA county “jute balls “ served in the SHU. Tastes like sand
He ate the first one
With ketchup