Sunday's "Fox & Friends" featured a discussion on illegal immigration (something new and different), and the focus was on churches doing that whole bleeding heart "when I was hungry, you fed me" thing with illegals, as opposed to immediately calling authorities and turning in those damn Messican aliens. And because the network is Fair And Balanced, it called two extremely conservative wingnuts to debate the issue, Dr. Richard Land of the Southern Evangelical Seminary, and Robert Jeffress, pastor of Dallas's First Baptist megachurch, who's a real whore when it comes to getting to go on the teevee. Somehow, there was distance between the two, because whereas Land says that when hungry people show up at a church, YOU FEED THEM, Jeffress is pretty sure that Jesus never said anything about feeding the hungry, and besides, he doesn't want to worship some kind of made-up faggot Jesus like that anyway:
"Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s" actually refers to dry cleaning. This is substantiated by the second line of the parable, "and render these things with light starch only, but never before Tuesday".
You see Jesus was a shit carpenter, so he had to run a laundry business on the side to make ends meet. It really wasn't his fault. He lived in the desert for Christ's sake. He didn't have his pick of the fine maple or majestic walnut trees. He was working with nothing but a couple of scrawny fig trees and the occasional burning bush. I mean he could knock out a bunch of knick-knacks or maybe a spindly old stool or two, but he wasn't doing the high-end cabinet work. Let me tell you, you can't feed 12 Apostles and run a new religious movement with that kind of product. So like many immigrants he went into the laundry business and Caesar was his best client.
I could be wrong, but I believe the "M" is for "Motherfucking". I do not necessarily agree with that sentiment, I just think the guy's feed is pretty funny.
Ugh. The only redeeming value of Christianity®©™ is the followers who do good works, be it feeding the hungry or offering sanctuary to those who will be killed/tortured if they return to their home country.
"Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s" actually refers to dry cleaning. This is substantiated by the second line of the parable, "and render these things with light starch only, but never before Tuesday".
You see Jesus was a shit carpenter, so he had to run a laundry business on the side to make ends meet. It really wasn't his fault. He lived in the desert for Christ's sake. He didn't have his pick of the fine maple or majestic walnut trees. He was working with nothing but a couple of scrawny fig trees and the occasional burning bush. I mean he could knock out a bunch of knick-knacks or maybe a spindly old stool or two, but he wasn't doing the high-end cabinet work. Let me tell you, you can't feed 12 Apostles and run a new religious movement with that kind of product. So like many immigrants he went into the laundry business and Caesar was his best client.
Jesus wore sandals. I saw it on the internet.
Faith, not works!!
There were no sunflowers in first century Palestine. He's a stickler for historical accuracy.
Jesus is full white, not half.
If he ever figures anything out it will be the first time ever.
Then he pushed that woman down the well.
fuck this fucking anti-christian fucker right in his fucking ear. With votes.
Lying for Jeebus- it's the Murican way
I thought it was Jesus H. Christ? :-)
Apparently it's pretty easy to work his mouth like a puppet, though. Convincing enough for FOX viewers!
Birkenstocks, to be sure. Scott Walker would approve of their anti-union antics. That proves that Jesus wore sandals.
"munching sunflower seeds"
Nope, the guy liked to munch on figs, and would get pretty pissed off if they were out-of season.
I could be wrong, but I believe the "M" is for "Motherfucking". I do not necessarily agree with that sentiment, I just think the guy's feed is pretty funny.
Neither was Jesus.