Discover more from Wonkette
Wingnut Insists Burning Korans On 9/11 Honors Allah And All His Friends
Now that Terry Jones is apparently Florida's #1 Muslin-loving chickenshit, the question still remains: Is there a more respectful way to showcase one's deep-seated hatred of the Muslim faith, or is burnin' some Queerans at your trailer park swamp church on 9/11 really the proper way to go, as far as "etiquette" is concerned? Americans -- filthy slobs that they are, and always will be -- never went to cotillion, where you learn things like the correct way to "dispose" of an unwanted Koran, how to push in a Koran's chair, or how to dance the macarena with it. Luckily for us, some wingnut with a blogspot Geocities page took a Multicultural Diversity Sensitivity course at Glenn Beck University, so he knows there is only one (1) thing you can actually "do" with a Koran, without being massively disrespectful to Muslim people. (Hint: It involves lighting all the Korans on fire, forever.)
And as for the Florida church, someone should thank them for what they are doing. Burning the Koran is only respectful way of disposing of the Holy book. For example, if a studnet is learning calligraphy and copies pages from the Koran, he is not allwoed to throw away the paprs. He must burn them out of respect for the Koran. So actually the Florida man is doing the Muslims a favor by disposing of several copies of the Koran in a proper way.
Oh geez. Well, first off: Where can we purchase one of these "stud-nets," which we assume are giant nets that are placed in the ocean to capture all the hot studs? Yes we will take three of these nets -- two for us, one for Terry Jones -- thank you! (SIDE NOTE: Terry, please do not threaten to burn the studs you capture in your stud net. Studs are for making out with, not for burning, okay? Okay. Good talk.)
This next part of our article is a little off-topic, but at any rate: DRUDGE SIRENS! Florida Swamp Church respects Muslims so much that it wanted to host a "Burn a Koran Day" on September 11 -- because burning Korans on 9/11 is how you prove to Islam that you love it -- but then Barack Obama said "please don't do that," since he is an ignorant bigot who loathes religious tolerance:
I do wish the White House would hire some people who know something about what they are doing. Because so far, they look terribly ill-equipped for the job.