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Wisconsin F*cks The Poors While Texas Gets Put In A FEMA Camp. Your Weekly Top Ten!
Top o' the Sunday Funday, Wonkers! And also Happy Mother's Day, if you are a lady who is a mommy! Let's take a moment to reminisce about the week's most hilarious stories, for us to laugh at together.
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All right, here are your top ten posts of the week, chosen by you, the wise readers:
1. You sure did get mad about Wisconsin fucking their poors so hard that they are now disallowing SNAP recipients from buying DRIED BEANS IN BULK, for God's holy sake. GET MAD AGAIN!
2. You also got mad about that nice Christian who made a video game where you get to "kill the faggots," because that's a totally normal kind of video game to play.
3. You just loved Dok's story about how, in 1979, Mike Huckabee was already a Biggus Dickus, preaching against Monty Python's Life Of Brian.
4. The Operation Jade Helm 15 conspiracy theories are getting funnier and funnier. Here's the one where Walmart had to reassure the Texas wingnuts that no, they are not building secret tunnels so that the Chinese can come kill them. OR ARE THEY?
5. Rick Santorum accidentally Said A Nice about Bruce Jenner, and he had to put a dollar in the Republican compassion jar, which is like their version of a swear jar. He promises never to do it again.
6. We all laughed and laughed about that normal Nebraska lady who decided to sue ALL GAYS, for their gayness. Her case was, of course, dismissed.
7. Did you know that Satanic temples have Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs about abortion too? It's true!
8. Try to contain your shock, but the military is even more rapey than we thought.
9. The Snake Oil Bulletin had to explain last weekend that no, your cat is NOT a vegan. You, on the other hand, are an idiot who is killing your cat.
10. Another Jade Helm story, wherein we reported on the FEMA TRAINS (!!!) that are going to put Texas in a FEMA camp. BYE FELICIA!
What a fun week we had!
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Okay, now go have a nice Sunday, and try not to get taken to the FEMA camp, if you are in Texas.