481 Comments
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eddi-SABH's avatar

At total peace with the world.

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Chris's avatar

Oh to be a red panda sleeping on a bridge. Red panda has no rent due, no deadlines for work, nothing to worry about. Sleep well, friend panda, and when you wake, may you eat apples and stomp on a pumpkin and maybe just take another nap.

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Ward From Cali's avatar

It's a bridge! It's a hammock! It's a desert topping!

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OneYieldRegular's avatar

Me, less than 2 minutes after vowing that I'm going to get through just 15 more pages of "The Magic Mountain."

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Ron Spangler's avatar

Blep

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RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

That red panda must have read Evan's J D Vance post....

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weejee's avatar

Nice red scare pandamonium Martini 😁

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SkeptiKC's avatar

I wish SO much that I could sleep like that precous red panda!

THAT is what a satisfying snooze looks like.

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Old guy named Bill (OGNB)'s avatar

That reminds me of the old term "out like a light."

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SkeptiKC's avatar

Too entirely accurate.

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Shocktreatment's avatar

That panda knows what she's doing, she should give clinics on taking in the breeze...

It's that 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 part that I have to work on.

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tehbaddr's avatar

On second glance I might be mistaken. Is perhaps sleepy Babby Ewok.

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Yub-nub!

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Hey, who snuck that picture while I was “watching” Midsomer Murders?

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tehbaddr's avatar

Is Raccoon Bear! It is napping.

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Al Bellenchia's avatar

Red is dead…to the world!

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SkeptiKC's avatar

Ruby snooze...

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The Wanderer's avatar

Day?

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Linda1961 is woke and proud's avatar

Just chillin', which is hard to do for most North Americans right now.

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The Wanderer's avatar

So true!

It's the tongue lolling out that just shoves the pic over into the 800-millichan range, almost dangerously cute.

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kmblue187's avatar

What "almost?" :)

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The Wanderer's avatar

It's still 200 millichans short. Of course, anything over 10 chans can trigger immediate diabetic shock.

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The Wanderer's avatar

Hurrah for the (eepy) Wah!

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Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

I built and maintained highways in Death Valley. They never buckled from the heat. Something wrong underneath to cause that.

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BlueSpot's avatar

Mamdani's win in NYC just shows that Democrats need to run to the left, and promise programs that help the poor and the needy, in order to win. Running for Republicans is a losing gambit; running for the center doesn't do anything new. There are more people on the left than there are on the right, but it is the people on the left who are being ignored by the Democrats.

When will the DNC wake up and become woke?

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Nelsonsdad's avatar

Can't get too much Wonkette! End of story!

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Ward From Cali's avatar

Hm. RFK Jr.'s fake study was "authored" by a real researcher in that highly specific specialty and had a title that closely replicated the title of a real paper that he actually did publish. Those are hallmarks of A.I. generation. Probably Chat GPT.

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Liminal's avatar

Yay! The end of the world!

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Cincinnatus's avatar

"Another Mysterious ‘Monument’ On National Mall Makes Fun Of Trump

Another satirical monument to Trump has magically appeared on the National Mall, this time mocking the White House for calling a previous anti-Trump installation “ugly art.”

It looks like a real national monument and features a giant gold TV playing a video on loop of Trump awkwardly dancing. A massive gold eagle sits atop the TV. Below the TV, a formal-looking plaque reads: “In the United States of America you have the freedom to display your so-called ‘art,’ no matter how ugly it is.”

That’s a direct quote from a White House spokesperson who, in June, was asked about a similar anti-Trump installation that activists had constructed on the National Mall in the wee hours of the morning. That so-called monument featured a large statue of a gold thumb crushing the Statue of Liberty and quotes about Trump being a dictator." HuffPost/Reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/washingtondc/comments/1ll3hv7/a_new_mysterious_statue_popped_up_on_the_national/

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MissMuppet's avatar

Anybody who has had the misfortune of being related to a crazed evangelical knows that the ONLY reason the US has been so invested in Israel is the damned notion that events in the Middle East somehow portend the return of Jeebus and all that stuff in the book of revelations. IF Jeebus returned he’d just be grabbed by ICE and sent to a concentration camp.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

If Jeebus returns and goes through all the ICE drama, it might work out better after he again ascends into Heaven if He picks a spokesperson and interpreter of His Word who doesn't have quite so many problems with women and sexuality.

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carovee's avatar

Slacktivist* theorized that Rapture enthusiasts, in addition to being thirsty for revenge, were really afraid of death. They want a get out of death go straight to heaven card.

*Read the whole freaking Left Behind series so no one else has to.

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Cincinnatus's avatar

A Trump-branded phone the Trump Organization initially claimed is “proudly made right here in the USA” is almost certainly being manufactured somewhere else. The Verge noticed that all claims the device is American-made have quietly been scrubbed from the “Trump Mobile” website in favor of far more ambiguous language. Instead of something that’s “MADE IN THE USA,” would-be buyers can now rest assured it’s “designed with American values in mind,” and that there are “American hands behind every device.” HuffPost/The Verge https://www.theverge.com/gadgets/693080/trump-mobile-t1-phone-made-usa

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

"Trump hands in every wallet."

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carovee's avatar

Instead of a chicken in every pot.

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cmd Human Scum's avatar

American values being rip off dumb consumers by selling them junk?

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Michael Bowen's avatar

The phone in the photo has been identified as a Chinese-made model that sells at T-Mobile for $149 put into a tacky gold-tone case.

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Cincinnatus's avatar

HuffPost: Tomorrow is setting up to be a blockbuster day for the Supreme Court.

Chief Justice John Roberts said it will be the final decision day of the term. Six opinions remain, including a ruling in Trump v. CASA, which challenges Trump’s attempt to end birthright citizenship.

The other five are:

Kennedy v. Braidwood Management, in which the plaintiffs argue that members of a task force that sets what preventative services insurers must cover under the Affordable Care Act should be appointed by the president and confirmed by the Senate.

FCC v Consumers’ Research, in which the plaintiffs seek to undercut a federal program that subsidizes high-speed internet and phone access in rural schools and libraries, and also low-income urban areas.

Free Speech Coalition v. Paxton, in which a group representing the adult entertainment industry is challenging a 2023 Texas law that requires pornographic sites to verify users’ ages.

Louisiana v. Callais, in which the plaintiffs argue a 2024 redistricting effort in Louisiana resulted in an unconstitutionally gerrymandered map.

Mahmoud v. Taylor, in which a group of religious parents in Maryland want to bar public schools from requiring their children to learn about gender and sexuality.

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carovee's avatar

I can't see a case where SCOTUS won't side with whoever is the most anti-democratic. Prevent sex ed? Sure. Make the ACA a permanent political football? Definitely. Free speech? As if. High speed internet for the loser poors in fly over country? Meh, who cares about them. Redistricting? The only question is who gets to write the opinion and which 16th century doctrine they will use do uphold gerrymandering.

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Antifa Commander's avatar

Getting in AFP* right now.

*anticipatory fetal position

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AJ Milne's avatar

My copy of Peter York’s ‘Dictator Style’ arrived today. Haven’t had time to read it; was on way to work. Looks like it lived a while in the sun, guessing in a shop window. The slipcover is faded at the top front edge, clearly a slightly smaller book in front of it. Looks good inside...

... or, you know. Good as you would expect from a book full of the decor of the World’s Most At Once Barbaric And Tasteless.

I wonder if assholes emerging since its printing and whose decor would qualify for inclusion (Drumpf comes to mind among them) at all resent there hasn’t been an updated second edition or something.

(I wonder also how many tech billionaires have rooms that might look like they pretty much belong.)

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Cincinnatus's avatar

Do tell, "Li'l Marco":

HuffPost: "In an interview with Politico’s Dasha Burns released Wednesday, Rubio said the move to pressuring member states to increase their defense spending target will strengthen the relationship between the U.S. and its allies in the military alliance. “I would call this ‘the Trump summit,’” Rubio added. You’ve got his branding knack now,” Burns remarked. “Well, I do,” he replied. “I guess it gets catchy.”"

[And you know what they say about a politician who wears stacked Cuban heels?]

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carovee's avatar

There is no bottom. Yet I keep hoping for a bottom.

Also, way to almost (ooh so close) call out Rubio for his insult to the NATO meeting. Thankfully, you made quick turn onto banal statement street.

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cmd Human Scum's avatar

What the hell is he even talking about?

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Cincinnatus's avatar

NATO meeting held this week, or I guess now known as the "Trump Summit."

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Queen Méabh's avatar

How many times have I heard fundagelicals saying that "The End Times Are Near" because there was conflict in the Middle East? I've lost count, and I'm an Old. Also, Jesus allegedly said to his followers that they would still be alive when he returned for the Last Judgement, and that clearly did not happen but fundagelicals ignore that part of the Bible, so it's all bullshit.

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Anzu's avatar

I have a special Wonkette folder in my email site that shuffles everything to it - news stories, the daily TABS, and also comment replies. I'm an obsessive email inbox cleaner so auto sorting it with a rule makes sure I DON'T miss something interesting. Wonkette is not the only website that I do this for.... but it's the only one I don't glance at once then mass delete, usually.

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Pope Scipio Newburyporticus's avatar

I have 38,966 unread messages in my personal email and 34,827 unread messages in my business account.

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Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Michelle Bachmann's prophets are really boring.

But I think she has overlooked the one prophet who really tells the whole story of how fucking pissy a prophet can be: Jonah.

Jonah the prophet freaked out when Crom gave Jonah his marching orders to go to the wicked city of Nineveh and tell them that Crom was going to smite them! Jonah jumped a fast boat going in the opposite direction of Nineveh. Lots of fun stuff happened....something something....a big fish.... Jonah ends up on a beach.....Crom tells Jonah to quit fucking around etc etc....etc.

Long story short: Jonah yells at Nineveh about the planned smiting and the people of that wicked city REPENT all their misdeeds and....whatta ya know!.....Crom decides NOT to smite them!

Believe it or not, this mightily displeases Jonah who reproaches Crom for being so mercifu!l Why the fuck did Crom even bother Jonah with this fool's errand? Next time just leave Jonah at home sitting in his garden under a shade tree! OK Crom? Just leave Jonah outta all this stuff if Jonah can't sit back under a Nineveh adjacent gourd tree, drink a cool one and watch the smiting just destroy Nineveh with all the people and the livestock also too! What a pissy prophet!

And the story has a happy ending; Crom sends a worm to kill Jonah's gourd tree which was the only thing making Jonah happy.

Moral of the story: Don't fuck around with Crom.

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Hello Marion's avatar

Just finished reading Lilith, by Nikki Marmery. Brilliant. Adam was a putz, his god even more of a putz, and don't even get me started on the generations of putz-botherers that followed, especially the ones who ended up hot for Jesus. It's always been an every-accusation-is-a-confession death cult sitch.

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