Wonkagenda: Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Morning Wonkaredoos! We hope you're all super ready to feast your peepers on some of the stories Yr Wonkette might be talking about today, but first, take a minute to double check yourvoter registration deadlines. There are a bunch of them, and some registration deadlines are today! (Yes, we know you're registered, because you read Wonkette and are thus well-informed. But what about your friends who mean well but may need a nudge?)

• •  Glenn Beck endorsed Hillary Clinton. We're just going to let that one sink in for a moment, and remind you to breathe.

  • Foriegn Policy magazine ALSO endorsed Hillary Clinton (THE FIRST TIME EVER) because "Trump is the worst major-party candidate this republic has ever produced," and Hillary Clinton is, "on foreign-policy and national security issues -- all of the areas we cover here at FP -- one of the best qualified candidates this country has produced since World War II."

  • When Donald Trump said Warren Buffett didn't pay taxes, Warren Buffet got angry, and decided to write  a letter and then release his taxes to prove that Donald Trump is a big 'ol liar.

  • You know how Donald Trump is a man who throws stones from a glass penthouse adorned with his name, and poops on gold toilets? Well, Donald Trump thinks he's a blue-collar worker. 

  • Donald Trump and Co. might swear on a stack of of monies that they aren't REALLY grabbing women by their lady bits, but there's still a history of lawsuits alleging Donald Trump is far more hands-on with the ladies. 

  •  MORE Republicans are jumping from the Trump Train as fast as they can now that Paul Ryan has waved his magic wand and said it's cool.

  • Paul Ryan might be running from the Trump Train, but Reince Preibus is staying aboard while Donald Trump runs it off the rails. CHOO-CHOO-CHOOSE!

  •  Trump's campaign You're Fired! its Virginia state co-chair, Corey Stewart, after Stewart openly supported a rally at RNC headquarters in Virginia that was critical of "establishment pukes" bailing from the Trump Train. So, it's cool to be a pervert supporting Trump, just as long as you're not a Trumpkin pervert holding a RNC position.

  • Donald Trump LIED at the debate on Sunday when he sputtered out a series of sentence fragments that concluded (more or less) that Russia wasn't trying to influence our election through a series of hacking attempts. How do we know for sure? Easy! Both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton received intelligence briefings that LITERALLY said Russia was absolutely hacking all the base that are belong to us! He doesn't have to believe those briefings though.

  • Apparently miracles DO happen because Florida Governor Rick Scott actually extended voter registration until Wednesday (tomorrow!). It's a like an Act of God, except it was done after a federal judge said Scott needed to do it.

  • Take a look at Illinois Senator Mark Kirk for just a moment, and be amazed at the flood of cash Republican mega-donors have showered upon him. 

  • You're all so fixated on the top of the ticket, but have you wondered about the bottom of the ticket? You know, the Congress critters? He's a quick list of some of the most vulnerable House members. 

  •  Will Hillary Clinton win the election before election day? The short answer is probably.

  • According to the GAO, U.S. diplomats in Not America are commuters just like you and me, except they're more afraid of dying than they are of traffic.

  • And here's your morning Nice Time! Samantha Bee doing some hardcore lady-splaining!