Wonkagenda: Tuesday, September 6, 2016

• • The G-20 Summit in China was a not-so-secret clusterfuck because China's a bunch of assholes.

  •  Phyllis Schlafly died. She was 92, so it was clearly a nefarious commie plot.

  • A rotting piece of moldy gutter trash known as Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte called our President B. Barry Bamz a bunch of mean words, so Bamz kindly told him to go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. Now Duterte is trying to walk it all back a bit.

  •  Congress critters are headed back to Washington where they'll inevitably screw things up while trying not to screw anything up.

  • Now that presidential debate moderators have been announced, you can start placing your bets about what Trump will whine about. Good thing Chris Wallace isn't a real reporter. 

  • Trump got endorsed by the crazy old blood thirsty war-hawks who have contracts with Fox News. Are you surprised?

  •  Pat Buchanan is struggling to stay relevant, so he just wants you to know that he's just so damn happy that Trump sounds just like him.

  • The Pentagon doesn't think Paul Ryan knows what the hell he's doing, so they sent a memo around on how to stop Paul Ryan's shitty spending plan. 

  • You guys, Ivanka Trump says her dad isn't sexist because he totally hired her and stuff. That may not be how it works, or how any of it works.

  • Reason 9,029 to love Justin Trudeau: He's told gun fetishists that AR-15's are going to remain restricted in Canada no matter what some silly e-petition says.

  • And here's your nice time: SLOTHS!