Wonkagenda: Wednesday, 07/27/2016

Good morning, Wonkers! Here's some of the stories that may grace the pixels of yr Wonkette today!

• Hillary Clinton has become the first woman formally nominated to a major party in America!

• In a humbling gesture, Bernie Sanders moved to release his delegates following the roll call vote. I said HUMBLING!

• Some Sanders delegates organized a walk-out during the roll-call yesterday, while Protesters outside of the DNC range from pro-Palestinian, #BernieOrBust, Black Lives Matter, IWW, Blue Lives Matter, and pro and anti-Clinton, confirming that the freedom of speech is actually alive and well. Surprisingly enough, there haven't been many arrests .

• Good ol' (Bill) "Bubba" Clinton gave really good talky thing last night about how to talk to nerdy girls in college. ( Read it here )

• President Barry Bamz and Joe Biden are in the shower together. Literally.

• Gabby Giffords is a goddamn super hero !

• VA Gov. Terry McAuliffe shat the bed when he said Hill-dawg would renegotiate TPP, forcing the campaign to deny, deny, deny . We'll remind you that McAuliffe is, like, just their drunk friend with foot-in-mouth disease.

• Translucent shit-weasel, Julian Assange is threatening to doxx more Democrats in an effort to damage Clinton. The worlds worst house guest has denies U.S. intelligence experts claims that a state-sponsored hack of DNC records supplied Wiki-leaks with the information.

• Let's all point and laugh at the miserable Floridian failure that is Alan Grayson's fledgling primary campaign has become!

• Ever desperate for attention, Trump was whining all over the teevee box , and Twitter machine last night, and early this morning like an obese infant, before , during and after Bill Clinton melted brains. He should probably shut his vodka-steak hole , and pay his bills .

• People are trolling the shit out of Trump, from Hillary Clinton , to Mark Cuban , Elizabeth Banks , and even farmers .

•  Anthony Weiner would come out of retirement just to beat Donald Trump Jr. like "a rented mule" in a New York City mayoral race, but Daddy says the race won't happen. SAD!

•  Bill O'Reilly is a fucking idiot who thinks the slaves who built the White House were, "well fed and had decent lodgings."

• Republican Warren Davidson is running unopposed to John Bohner's old seat in his Senate race after his Democratic opponent suddenly dropped out.