Wonkagenda: Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Trump was just shootin' off his mouth again....

What the Wednesday, Wonkers! Here's some of the stories yr Wonkette might be putting up on the Interwebz today!

• Donald Trump shot himself in the foot ...again...after he asked (err, suggested) that he wanted Second Amendment gun fetishists to mobilize an assault on Hillary Clinton ...with votes. Totally with votes. Yeah...

• Paul Ryan mercilessly beat the bejesus out of his Trumpkin primary challenger, Paul Nehlen. To celebrate, Ryan rubbed Nehlen's nose in it by buying supporters cheese curds and beer .

• Julian Assange is spreading more conspiracy theory nonsense from his hidey-hole because he's a super-secret Trumpkin on Pooty-Poot's payroll.

• Three Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee are attempting to formally Benghazi-gate Donald Trump for that time Trump (last week) Trump asked his BFF Pooty-kins Russia to look at Hillary Clinton's emails for boobie pictures, or dick pics, or whatever.

• Ann Coulter thinks South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley should restore the Confederate Flag to the South Carolina statehouse. Haley's response? "Bless her heart." 

• Bizarre human-duck hybrid person Phil Robertson threatens to run for President. 

• Fox's hiked skirt brigade featuring Meggles McCain flipped the script and went apeshit on a Trumpkin for saying Trump was the ultimate feminist.

• How much taxpayer monies has the Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio wasted profiling the Messican? GUESS! (It's $41 million.)

• The Justice Department will release the findings of an investigation that officially declares the Baltimore's cops are skull-thumping racist dicks , confirming the suspicions of everyone who's ever lived in Baltimore. The cheese stands alone!

• Repugnant Trumpkin radio show host Jason Lewis won the GOP primary for Minnesota's 2nd District. Tell your friends!

• Poor patriot Ryan Bundy has been moved to "disciplinary housing" for threatening and assaulting the long, flabby arm of the law that has him WRONGLY imprisoned.

• Laura Ingraham admits Benghazi Mom's lawsuit might be a futile gesture aimed at beating and dragging a dead horse through the mud. Again.

• Trump has a new gimmick: give him $35 dollars, and he'll give you useless "Gold Executive Membership" card that will help identify you as a racist jerkoff in public.

• Here's some educational Nice Time about Congress's August Recesses because you earned it!