101 Comments

It's hard. Harder because my sons ended up disabled...BUT smart and wonderful. So I literally have to look at the good. Because if they were not disabled but horrible selfish people, that would break my heart more, I think.

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Oh yeah. I forgot. I was filled with Wonkette-subsidized beer and feeling all superior and shit. I may have changed my tiny mind.

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Actually, I am a Wonker, and I do own a business, which is something I tend to regret every day (the business part, not the Wonker part). Advertising is a real head-scratcher for a dinky diner, such as mine. I briefly paid good money to the local fish-wrapper for a 1.5 X 1.5 inch doo-dad which cost me millions of dollars (ok, a coupla hundred), but the only people who read the litter-box liner are the 75 + crowd. Really cool folks, but they can't actually drive themselves down and walk in, or maybe they're just reluctant to attempt it unassisted. Anyway, I paid money, nothing happened.

Then some guy from Yelp! (Not affiliated with Jeb!) called and offered to cheat me out of less money than the Fish-Wrapper guy and maybe send me some customers, and Voila! a coupla different guys on a coupla different occasions came in and said they'd seen us on Yelp! Voila! Yelp!

So, yeah, online advertising looks like a less-stupid alternative to the Fish-Wrapper.

The problem is, I live in Western New York (Buffalo and vicinity). Who, aside from myself, lives in this...remote locality...and reads the Wonkette for dining tips? And why would anyone think my ad was real, and not just another trick to make them give money to Wonkette?

Huh?

Huh?

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Pics or GTFO. (Just kidding.)

Are you in the vicinity of any of the sports-ball venues? How about any of the college campuses? The medical centers? (Don't laugh -- nurses and interns gotta eat.) Allentown?

The steel mill? ... Oh, right ...

The train station? ... Damn! ...

Crystal Beach? ... What? When? ...

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So sex-trafficking yourselves is on the table?

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What if I don't have a business, but my friend is a super awesome teacher of severely disadvantaged kids and I just wanted to drop his donorschoose.org link in a comment like this http://www.donorschoose.org... is that allowed?

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Undead to be Wilde?

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LOL.

All the upfists, please.

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I just stand in front of the mirror and twist my shirt around. Saves on bandwidth.

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Not that anybody notices.

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Can I speak with Dave?

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No! Now I need brain bleach! Ugh!

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Not counting the 3 jobs it takes to be parents...*sigh* I remember although it's been 20 years.

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OK, I sent you an email to advertise my mom-and-pop minus the mom, and pop's on the sauce again.

How come websites rarely advertise their rates anymore? It's because of Snowden, amirite?

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If I worked for myself, I couldn't visit Wonkette. I'd have to work instead.

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