Hey, remember today? When we got that hilares letter informing us that we better, like, say sorry or something, and DEFINITELY take down all that libel-y stuff about one Mr. Herr Doktor Bradlee Dean? Well, some of you asked for a Photoshop contest, but we will do you one better! Since so many Wonkerados are attorneys (in addition to like two thirds of our writing staff), we thought we would let you have some Sexy Lawyer Funtime too!
Good grief, that's hilarious. I was wondering why a C&D letter was written so badly, and not signed by an attorney, because when I googled the firm it looked like a perfectly legit outfit. Well, if Mr. Dean and Mr. MacAuley really want to get bankrupted fast, pissing off an entire law firm is def the right way to go.
Hey, Editrix, did that letter arrive on letterhead or just float into the @Wonkette inbox from some dodgy email address? Because impersonating a member of the bar is a hangin' offense in the Midwest, and I foresee the possibility of a wonderful correspondence with the nice folks at the full-service pureblood WASP law firm of Collins, Buckley, Sauntry & Haugh, P.LLP.
found on the same website, LOL! So naturally you’re asking around. Makes sense. But maybe there is also other case law in Minnesota and even federally, that could also be found which would clarify that Something v. Someone stuff. Hey, maybe someone at a law firm could check that? Or in a law-school textbook, maybe? Because it says there that “the plaintiff has the burden of pleading and proving such extrinsic facts” and we’re pretty sure the plaintiff is not us in this instance--at least, not so far. So we understand that your letter is written in the spirit of scholarly inquiry, and we all love a good research question.
Still, with great regret, because this has been so much fun, we don’t think we would be able to produce “any facts and evidence that support [a] false and defamatory claim,” since there was no such claim on our part. As far as we can tell (but the syntax is a little convoluted—like Shakespeare, Mr. MacAulay! You are a poet!), the claim that something-something was false and defamatory is yours. If we were you, we’d sure go after that MacAulay fellow and squeeze him til he spills some facts and evidence to support his false claim of defamation, or claim of false defamation, or defamatory claim of defamation. Hell yeah! Go Vikings!
Very truly yours, General Sir Rufus Wonkette (Mrs.) Chief Management Operator, Eastern Theater
P.S. Please say hi to Ms. Rachel Maddow next time you or Mr. Bradlee Dean is in touch with her. We’re supposed to get together with her one of these days for drinks and dinner at some incredibly expensive Manhattan restaurant full of movie stars. She said it’s on her—something to do with a check she’s expecting in payment for blahblahblah, we weren’t really paying attention; we were too busy annotating the Article VI of the Constitution to insert that missing Nullification thing, which someone seems to have left out by accident.
In re: your letter of 20th inst. regarding your client Mr. B. Dean.
We are reminded of the behavior of certain birds, which, when trying to protect a nest, fly erratically and screech loudly, in an attempt to confuse or divert potential predators. We consider that you are, at least in part, copying such tactics. Furthermore, we have consulted with Messrs. Soo, Grabbit and Runne, lawyers for the Audubon Society, and herein request that you and your client cease and desist from such mimicry, on pain of suit. We further entreat that, having considered your reply, you type out same, and hold it before a mirror, and therein witness our opinion of such claim.
We have become aware or your client's record in re: Maddow v Dean, and commend you for taking this case pro bono.
Yours etc. Jigger, Glass and Eisman, Attorneys-at-law.
Thanks for the link. I now know why I am not a lawyer. Don't get me wrong. I know in my heart that there are decent lawyers out there who are working night and day to secure justice and improve the human condition. I just don't know how any of them, good or bad, can stay awake long enough to read a judgement.
i just finished watching 'sound city' and weirdly you are not mentioned. were you actually in the '90's? did somebody - anybody? - care about you more than like...rick astley?
"Since so many Wonkerados are attorneys"
Ok...I'm a collection agent and not an attorney so I don't have much to offer...
...unless this insufferable wanker is <i>One Day Late</i> with his car payment. Then I&#039;m going to be all over him like Harry Dean Stanton looking for an alien.
PS: Facepalm.
I&#039;m not seeing it. What did you change?
Dear Lawyer Dude -
Tell yer client she can suck on my rod of correction ... right here! <i>(afferra la biforcazione)</i>
Most ever-so very truly yours now and forever, Wonket et al
Good grief, that&#039;s hilarious. I was wondering why a C&amp;D letter was written so badly, and not signed by an attorney, because when I googled the firm it looked like a perfectly legit outfit. Well, if Mr. Dean and Mr. MacAuley really want to get bankrupted fast, pissing off an entire law firm is def the right way to go.
Hey, Editrix, did that letter arrive on letterhead or just float into the @Wonkette inbox from some dodgy email address? Because impersonating a member of the bar is a hangin&#039; offense in the Midwest, and I foresee the possibility of a wonderful correspondence with the nice folks at the full-service pureblood WASP law firm of Collins, Buckley, Sauntry &amp; Haugh, P.LLP.
And you get more upfists...
Snark is one thing, thoughtlessness is another. But I have no business presuming the worst. Here, of all places.
I read that on the internet, too! And as far as I can tell, he has not denied it. The raping and murdering of a young girl. In 1990. Allegedly.
Romani. Okay?
found on the same website, LOL! So naturally you&rsquo;re asking around. Makes sense. But maybe there is also other case law in Minnesota and even federally, that could also be found which would clarify that Something v. Someone stuff. Hey, maybe someone at a law firm could check that? Or in a law-school textbook, maybe? Because it says there that &ldquo;the plaintiff has the burden of pleading and proving such extrinsic facts&rdquo; and we&rsquo;re pretty sure the plaintiff is not us in this instance--at least, not so far. So we understand that your letter is written in the spirit of scholarly inquiry, and we all love a good research question.
Still, with great regret, because this has been so much fun, we don&rsquo;t think we would be able to produce &ldquo;any facts and evidence that support [a] false and defamatory claim,&rdquo; since there was no such claim on our part. As far as we can tell (but the syntax is a little convoluted&mdash;like Shakespeare, Mr. MacAulay! You are a poet!), the claim that something-something was false and defamatory is yours. If we were you, we&rsquo;d sure go after that MacAulay fellow and squeeze him til he spills some facts and evidence to support his false claim of defamation, or claim of false defamation, or defamatory claim of defamation. Hell yeah! Go Vikings!
Very truly yours, General Sir Rufus Wonkette (Mrs.) Chief Management Operator, Eastern Theater
P.S. Please say hi to Ms. Rachel Maddow next time you or Mr. Bradlee Dean is in touch with her. We&rsquo;re supposed to get together with her one of these days for drinks and dinner at some incredibly expensive Manhattan restaurant full of movie stars. She said it&rsquo;s on her&mdash;something to do with a check she&rsquo;s expecting in payment for blahblahblah, we weren&rsquo;t really paying attention; we were too busy annotating the Article VI of the Constitution to insert that missing Nullification thing, which someone seems to have left out by accident.
Mr J. MacAuley,
In re: your letter of 20th inst. regarding your client Mr. B. Dean.
We are reminded of the behavior of certain birds, which, when trying to protect a nest, fly erratically and screech loudly, in an attempt to confuse or divert potential predators. We consider that you are, at least in part, copying such tactics. Furthermore, we have consulted with Messrs. Soo, Grabbit and Runne, lawyers for the Audubon Society, and herein request that you and your client cease and desist from such mimicry, on pain of suit. We further entreat that, having considered your reply, you type out same, and hold it before a mirror, and therein witness our opinion of such claim.
We have become aware or your client&#039;s record in re: Maddow v Dean, and commend you for taking this case pro bono.
Yours etc. Jigger, Glass and Eisman, Attorneys-at-law.
Thanks for the link. I now know why I am not a lawyer. Don&#039;t get me wrong. I know in my heart that there are decent lawyers out there who are working night and day to secure justice and improve the human condition. I just don&#039;t know how any of them, good or bad, can stay awake long enough to read a judgement.
Veni, vidi, metalia failuari.
Easy and fun! <a href="http://blingee.com/blingee/..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://blingee.com/blingee/upload_base">http://blingee.com/blingee/...
hi bradlee dean,
i just finished watching &#039;sound city&#039; and weirdly you are not mentioned. were you actually in the &#039;90&#039;s? did somebody - anybody? - care about you more than like...rick astley?
thanks. fuflans
I...I can&#039;t help myself.
&quot;Since so many Wonkerados are attorneys&quot;
Ok...I&#039;m a collection agent and not an attorney so I don&#039;t have much to offer...
...unless this insufferable wanker is <i>One Day Late</i> with his car payment. Then I&#039;m going to be all over him like Harry Dean Stanton looking for an alien.
Just another smear of a conservative like TOTALLY straight republican.
Its just dithguthting!