Wonkette Movie Night: Clueless
'It does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty.'
Clueless. Like any of Trump’s nominees about anything they have been tasked to lead or a fun movie with Alicia Silverstone? Definitely going with the second one. Even with Stacey Dash appearing in it, a person familiar to Wonkers.
We are going back to a more innocent time. All the way back to 1995, where we discover that Paul Rudd never ages because he was 26 when this was filmed and he looks about the same now. It’s the adrenochrome!
Clueless is loosely based on Emma, written by Jane Austen in 1815. The setting is a high school full of teens from wealthy families. Cher and her friend Dionne (“named after famous singers of the past, who now do infomercials”) spend their days shopping and talking about boys. But Cher’s grade point average has slipped and like her lawyer dad has taught her, she believes she can convince her teachers to raise her grades with the right argument. It works with all but one, her debate teacher, Mr. Hall. She thinks it is because he is a lonely man and decides that matchmaking is what’s needed.
She sees the happiness that her meddling in others’ love lives has created and she wants to do more of it. Turns out it feels good to help others. Of course then there is the required nerdy girl makeover by the popular kids that always occurs in these flicks. Behind Cher’s shallowness we see peeks of wisdom and depth that surprise even herself. The love lives of teens are exciting and confusing times; they’re still trying to figure out who they really are, so it makes it hard to understand who they really love.
As the romance dice gets rolled, Cher finds herself in love with the last person she expected. But love is funny that way, it does its own thing and sneaks up on you when you’re not paying attention. As if!
Paul Rudd is now in his 50s and still sexy as fuck, just ask People Magazine.
Clueless stars Alicia Silverstone, Paul Rudd, Brittany Murphy, Donald Faison, Breckin Meyer, Elisa Donovan, Jeremy Sisto, and Wallace Shawn. Directed by Emily Heckerling.
Clueless is available with subscription on Paramount+. Free with ads on Pluto TV. $3.99 in the usual places.
To make requests and see the movie lists and schedules go to WonkMovie.
The animated short is Sleeping Betty from the NFB and Claude Cloutier. It’s Canadian!
Our next Movie Night selection is The Maltese Falcon (1941) which I will be bringing to you from Cleveland! It is is available for free on the Internet Archive. $3.99 in the usual places.
For next week's Movie Night showing of 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐧 I am going to open up the trivia to everyone. If you have trivia for The Maltese Falcon and want to quiz your fellow movie watchers, please do! I just request that you try to keep the timing of the question to what is happening in the movie. Also no spoilers. I am going to be too busy to do trivia so it will be a great help. If you ever wanted to be a Wonkette Trivia master here's your chance.
I was going to try and go to sleep but that ain't happening. Too much to think about. So another shot of vanilla vodka and more weed. Oh and did you hear I'm moving from NYC to Cleveland? I might have mentioned it once or twice. It feels absolutely mad and absolutely the best thing for me. Incoming vodka induced deep thoughts. I am going to get to start new. I am not going to worry some psycho will kill me on the subway because he doesn't like my rainbow tags. My bad experiences on mass transit over the last couple years have convinced me I was going to run out of luck one of these days. Just too many terrifying experiences over the last few years have left me traumatized. I'm getting too old for this shit. That is just one piece of why I am getting out. The negative reason. The rest is all good though! Saving $700 a month on rent is a big one. I'm excited to start fresh, to find new things to photograph and do fun stuff that would cost ten times as much in NYC and have a line a hundred deep. Hell I will have better opportunities for health care because of how hard it is to find a doctor that takes Medicare and doesn't have a wait list in NYC. Enough rambling. I've reminding myself enough of why i am doing this. One more shot of vodka then bed, helps quiet down the butterflies and electricity that it feels like I have inside so I can get to sleep. Good night all!