Wonkette Movie Night: Hot Fuzz

'I may not be a man of God, Reverend, but I know right and I know wrong and I have the good grace to know which is which.'

"Bad boys, bad boys
Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?"

You may remember that theme song from the TV series “Cops.” It would start with an announcer saying, 

"COPS is filmed on location with the men and women of law enforcement. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty, in a court of law!"

The town of Sandford is protected by both its cops and the Neighborhood Watch Association protecting it. They are in charge of keeping the statistics. They have their own way of talking about crime. They don't have any. 

But what they do have is a lot of accidents.

When Sergeant Nicholas Angel is transferred from London to the countryside and into "the safest village in the country," his keen cop Spidey senses tell him something is wrong. It starts when Sergeant Angel receives a phone call telling him that a local actor and his female companion had been "decaffeinated" in a traffic collision. Which is then clarified as decapitated. Soon more accidents are piling up the bodies. Sandford Police Chief Inspector Frank Butterman insists there's nothing evil behind the deaths. But that won't stop Angel.

Sergeant Angel is a stickler for details, a strong adherent to the rules, and he precisely follows the "official vocab guidelines." He informs his naïve partner, Constable Danny Butterman, that it's a traffic collision, not a car accident. 

"Because accident implies there's nobody to blame."

A cloaked killer is soon revealed but only Sergeant Angel sees them.

The Neighborhood Watch Association, also known by the sly joke of an acronym the NWA, is another piece of the puzzle. They have eyes and ears seemingly everywhere yet the only wrongs they see are minor nuisances like The Living Statue, a busker in gold who performs by not performing. They are focused on depicting the town of Sandford as picture perfect and crime free, so they may continue to win the Village of the Year contest. These well respected village elders appear petty and harmless. But we all know appearances can be deceptive. What are the grocer, barkeep, reverend, innkeeper and others in this model community really hiding behind the ideal they present? 

DUN, DUN, DUUUN!!!

Spoilers Ahead.

What the town of Sandford presents as facts is their created reality; murders are accidents and petty crime is disappeared, penalized by death. The town's perfection is a narrative defined by the presenters. Sounds like the way some pollsters are currently doing their seasonal work. 

But Nicholas Angel is not fooled by the bullshit. In a big, action filled finale like a classic Western, there's a shoot'em up showdown in the town center. And because Movie Nights try to always have happy endings — not those happy endings you preverts — the bad guys pay the price for their misdeeds.

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost as Angel and Butterman enjoying a Cornetto treat.

Hot Fuzz is the second movie in The Three Flavors Cornetto Trilogy. The first was Shaun Of The Dead. The last film is appropriately titled The World's End, which we will eventually watch so we can complete the trilogy.

Hot Fuzz stars Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Timothy Dalton, Jim Broadbent, and Bill Nighy. Directed by Edgar Wright.

Hot Fuzz is available with subscription on Prime. For $2.99 on Vudu. For $3.99 on YouTube, Apple TV and Google Play.

To make requests and see the movie lists and schedules, go to WonkMovie.

Grab your munchies and something to wash it down. Enjoy!

Tonight we have a Merrie Melodies cartoon called Fast and Furry-ous, from 1949. It was the first short featuring Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner. Directed by Chuck Jones and created by Michael Maltese for Warner Bros.

In his autobiography, Chuck Amuck: The Life and Times of an Animated Cartoonist, Chuck Jones asserted that he and other creators behind Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote had simple but strict rules:

1. The Road Runner cannot harm the Coyote except by going Beep-Beep!

2. No outside force can harm the Coyote, only his own ineptitude or the failure of the Acme products.

3. The Coyote could stop anytime, if he were not a fanatic. (Repeat: ‘A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim.’ George Santayana.)

4. No dialogue ever, except Beep-Beep!

5. The Road Runner must stay on the road, otherwise, logically, he would not be called a Road Runner.

6. All action must be confined to the natural environment of the two characters, the southwest American desert.

7. All materials, tools, weapons, or mechanical conveniences must be obtained from the Acme Corporation.

8. Whenever possible, make gravity the Coyote's greatest enemy.

9. The Coyote is always more humiliated than harmed by his failures.