Wonkette Movie Night: Mars Attacks!
'When the Martians land, will the press have access? Can we do interviews?'
Here’s a thought: What if Elon Musk is actually one of the Martians from Mars Attacks!? At some point he will rip off the fake human face he has been wearing, then go ACK! ACK! and zap every member of Congress with a ray gun. Makes sense, that wanting to go to Mars thing; he is trying to get back home. Plus destroying the US government, the Martians are totally up for doing that.
One way to find out, quickly, someone play Slim Whitman on a loudspeaker next to him.
The Martians are from a civilization more advanced than ours, or so Professor Kessler advises President James Dale. And being from such an advanced planet, he reasons that they would have no need to attack Earth. President Dale listens to that advice and allows the Martian ambassador to speak to congress. Where Elon the Martian ambassador pulls out a ray gun and starts zapping.
It seems their advancements are mostly in deception and making powerful weapons. The Martians are not advanced in the ways of benevolence nor magnanimous with their technology. They only seem to want conquest. But some scrappy Americans — a senile grandmother, a donut shop worker, an aging prize fighter, and Tom Jones — will be the resistance to these alien invaders. Together with Slim Whitman singing “Indian Love Call” the Earth can be saved. I wonder what song could stop the current group who want to destroy the world. The horror will probably be in finding out it’s the Kars 4 Kids jingle.
This is one of those films where it takes an entire paragraph to list the biggest names. Mars Attacks! stars Jack Nicholson, Annette Bening, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Martin Short, Michael J. Fox, Sarah Jessica Parker, Rod Steiger, Jim Brown, Pam Grier, Jack Black, Lisa Marie, Danny DeVito, Natalie Portman, Sylvia Sydney, Tom Jones, Lukas Haas, and Paul Winfield. Directed by Tim Burton.
Mars Attacks! is available for free with ads on YouTube. $3.99 in the usual places.
To make requests and see the movie lists and schedules go to WonkMovie.
The animated short is Dernier Contact - The Take-off by seven students of the school ESMI-Brassart.
Our next Movie Night selection is Murder By Death. Free with ads on YouTube.
UPDATE: The next movie will not be Murder By Death. Too racist and I should have caught it earlier but I am distracted with real life. The next movie will be the original story that Murder By Death was a parody of, And Then There Were None (1945.) Sorry for the late notice. And Then There Were None is free in several places including YouTube.
𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀:
Producer/director Tim Burton called Pam Grier and asked her to fly to Los Angeles for an audition. She said she wanted to, but could not because her dog was terminally ill. He called her back several times and eventually decided that she had already auditioned by not leaving her dog, since her character in the film refused to leave her two sons.