Includes the best Thanksgiving speech ever: Wednesday: "You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides. You will play golf and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, "Do not trust the Pilgrims. Especially Sarah Miller."
Trump: My mugshot makes me more popular with black voters. Immigrants are poisoning the blood of America! They’re vermin, trash, garbage. Puerto Rico is a floating island of garbage. Childless cat ladies and post menopausal women shouldn’t have same voting rights as people with kids. Jews who vote Democrat should have their head examined. Catholics who vote democrat should have their head examined.
Media: Kamala lost because she focused on identity politics instead of the economy. Trump focused on real issues and the economy!
Trump talking about the economy: Tariffs tariffs tariffs, deportations, Hannibal lecter, sharks and batteries, bird cemeteries!
Ok all you lovelies, I am out for the day. It is clear here and I want to go outside and enjoy it before the next storm tomorrow. Everyone stay safe and be kind to each other.
Don't spend all day obsessing about Trump and his band of thugs and misfits. It is silly season right now. The real shit goes down starting in January.
"Everybody has a plan 'til they get punched in the mouth..."
- Mike Tyson
"It ain't over 'til it's over."
- Yogi Berra
"Don't one of you fire 'til you see the whites of their eyes!"
- Colonel William Prescott at Bunker Hill
"Nuts!"
- Brigadier General Anthony McAuliffe during the Battle of the Bulge
Are there any plans to heckle the alleged "swearing in" of all these treasonous fucks? Especially the big fella who has already broken the oath before he's even taken it? And the congress critters who are supposedly going to pledge to protect and defend the constitution, when they really mean Donald Trump?
Thanks, Ali, for saying what we all have known for years. But tell again how they will atone when you have the likes of Mika and Schmoe traveling to Mar-A-Lardo to kiss the ring.
"The right wing YouTube host was found wandering the moors 'in a state of déshabillé', a bouquet of headless roses clutched in one hand, insistently crying out for "Haricot", a dairy maid and daughter of travellers who "had consumed his thoughts and fancies much these seven months past". Police warn locals to stay indoors and be prepared for the high probability of further Gothic incidents in the next few weeks."
When I first came here to the mommy blog I used a tactic to avoid the banhammer: I expressed the dark violence and ill will in my soul as fan fictions. The most violent ones usually involved fan fiction about the barbarian warlord known as Conan. I certainly would NEVER chop, stab, club or maim anyone because they said shitty things. But Conan? That guy has NO restraints. He ain’t afraid of any banhammer. In this case I would slightly modfiy Dennis Praeger’s name a bit, cast him as a malevolent wizard or king and set him in opposition to Conan. I would then describe the highly predictable results involving chopping, stabbing, clubbing and maiming.
Or death. I gotta admit I wrote a lot of death right into that fan fiction. Some favorite episodes include resolutions for Ammon Bundy, Jim Hoft, Rush Limbaugh, Ben Shapiro and of course the Orange POS.
BTW- Ben Shapiro suffered a particularly gruesome end- being laughed at to death.
A man whose success I honestly cannot comprehend. He manages to be as bigoted as people like Trump, as ignorant as Charlie Kirk, and as charismatic as grout.
Media when Trump was indicted: isn’t this too divisive? To heal our nation Trump must be pardoned!
Media when Trump threatens to prosecute all the democrats: This is totally normal and we are not going to question it. He won so he gets to do whatever he wants.
NBC now has a huge top line article on their site about how TFG’s *defense lawyer* whom he nominated for a Deputy AG post may be able to prevent him from using the DOJ as retribution.
Oh, NBC ... you sweet, summer child. Dementia Don will exact whatever retribution he wants using whatever agency he wants and there is JACK SHIT you say to change that.
You can still catch the reality train before Elno buys you out and turns you into TV twitter.
You can kind of see trends and stuff running through the, let's say, criminal community and I've found it interesting in the past 2 decades to see how you hear one thing and think it's odd, and then a bit later you hear it again from another person, and then you see the trend.
Well, in the past week 2 different people were asked their names while being arrested and claimed to be the Archangel Michael. Both appear to have some mental health issues, but in 2 decades I've never seen that.
I crashed hard last night. Woke up late and am behind in my do nothing plans for today. On the plus side I am down about eight pounds from Oct 30. That's 32 pounds from my ideal weight (which is still 'obese' on the BMI... I would have to lose my muscle mass to get to "normal") and about 20lbs away from where I can stop taking blood pressure medication and apnia ends, but not the night terrors.
But it takes gags, sewn from high thread count sheets stolen from clothes lines in the rich part of town, to control my night terror induced shrieking.
The gags were recommended by the police who kept being called to my house by concerned neighbors after the recent election.
I guess I was lucky I didn't get shot.
(Or would it have been a mercy? I do wonder about that.)
Well done and congratulations! It takes considerable effort and discipline to achieve such goals but the results are ALWAYS worth it.
Trust me, as miserable as a diet and exercise program can be I can assure you that a stroke or a heart attack would be one HELLUVA lot worse, precious comrade. Stay the course, my friend.
You're not alone; paul has put himself on a diet and is trying to loose at least twenty pounds. I hope you two can encourage one another and both enjoy substantial success.
I credit it to my daily 20 Hours of Rage. My therapist says it is too much, so fuck him, his attitude is what got Trump elected! NOW WHAT PART OF THIS WALL STILL HAS SHEETROCK LEFT ON IT!
I already didn't speak to my folks' for three years - so they know what I'm willing to do. But they're much older now and I'd rather leave options open as long as they're willing to let me berate their neanderthal views. It's mostly an accommodation on my part, but they know it's not an abstraction for me, and I'm willing to leave the country if shit turns bad, which means they might never see me again.
paul and I have done the same. Neither of us has to worry about Thanksgiving Day because he'll be on duty at the hospital and I'll be gimping around the house with Cat the Ripper and brooding.
As misty moist moisty as it's been over here on the east side every morning I suspect that's exactly the ambiance I shall be regarding through my war room window.
One of my fondest memories of my mom was when Nixon resigned. My grandmother was crying "poor man, poor man" and my mom was following her around laughing saying "he's a crook, mom!!!" My mom would've HATED watching PAB get elected once much less twice.
Following the Thanksgiving matinee, the last Movie Night in November, 11/30 will be 𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐀𝐫𝐤. https://open.substack.com/pub/ziggywiggy/p/wonkette-movie-night-nov-30-raiders?r=2knfuc&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Amen sister to the melting! I can't find Axl?
Left bottom corner. Under the snake, he's well hidden.
There he is!
That lil scamp!
Nazis with melting faces, perfect way to end this month!
jeebus it hasn't even been a month. this next four years is going to last 4 decades isn't it?
Between the face melting and the "I fought the propeller and the propeller won" thing, that is indeed and ideal end to 11/24!
Thanks everyone, we needed that! 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐨𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐞 𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝐅𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬
𝟏𝐩𝐦 𝐏𝐓/𝟒𝐩𝐦 𝐄𝐓
https://open.substack.com/pub/ziggywiggy/p/thanksgiving-wonkette-movie-matinee?r=2knfuc&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Includes the best Thanksgiving speech ever: Wednesday: "You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides. You will play golf and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, "Do not trust the Pilgrims. Especially Sarah Miller."
Christina Ricci is amazing in that film.
She has so many great lines and delivers them perfectly.
The smile.
Gomez: He has my father's eyes.
Morticia: Gomez, take those out of his mouth.
Morticia: Wednesday's at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.
Ellen: Boys?
Wednesday: Homicide.
The Dude abides.
Trump: My mugshot makes me more popular with black voters. Immigrants are poisoning the blood of America! They’re vermin, trash, garbage. Puerto Rico is a floating island of garbage. Childless cat ladies and post menopausal women shouldn’t have same voting rights as people with kids. Jews who vote Democrat should have their head examined. Catholics who vote democrat should have their head examined.
Media: Kamala lost because she focused on identity politics instead of the economy. Trump focused on real issues and the economy!
Trump talking about the economy: Tariffs tariffs tariffs, deportations, Hannibal lecter, sharks and batteries, bird cemeteries!
With Gaetz out and Bondi in we managed to dodge the bullet but not the Train.
Bondi is totally corruptible. Trump loves ya, baby.
She was a cheap date. Only cost about $20,000 to get her not to prosecute TFG. That's front-pocket money. She knew what it meant, but she went.
We've already determined what you are. Now we are just haggling over the price.
Ok all you lovelies, I am out for the day. It is clear here and I want to go outside and enjoy it before the next storm tomorrow. Everyone stay safe and be kind to each other.
Don't spend all day obsessing about Trump and his band of thugs and misfits. It is silly season right now. The real shit goes down starting in January.
"Everybody has a plan 'til they get punched in the mouth..."
- Mike Tyson
"It ain't over 'til it's over."
- Yogi Berra
"Don't one of you fire 'til you see the whites of their eyes!"
- Colonel William Prescott at Bunker Hill
"Nuts!"
- Brigadier General Anthony McAuliffe during the Battle of the Bulge
"Never fight uphill, me boys!"
tfg
Was this mentioned? That bigot, fool, knave, self-described "fiscally conservative libertarian" Chuck Woolery died?
Somebody might miss him, not me.
Who? (/s)
(gekkers) Leicester City just sacked their manager.
And we're surprised how?
I shouldn't be, really. Foxes are down to 16th in the table (which makes them better than Wolves, but it's a near thing).
Are there any plans to heckle the alleged "swearing in" of all these treasonous fucks? Especially the big fella who has already broken the oath before he's even taken it? And the congress critters who are supposedly going to pledge to protect and defend the constitution, when they really mean Donald Trump?
Drumpfenfuehrer has already repeatedly violated the Hatch Act with his claimed off-the-record contact with Russia over the past four years.
The US Constitution is nothing but a PROP to these prevaricating patriarchs. The Buybull serves the same nefarious manipulative purpose.
The bible only stops bullets in the movies.
Ali Velshi is ripping into billionaire-controlled oligarchy MSM.
* insert "You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, and you will atone" clip*
Thanks, Ali, for saying what we all have known for years. But tell again how they will atone when you have the likes of Mika and Schmoe traveling to Mar-A-Lardo to kiss the ring.
Unless he has an unusual piercing, taint no ring they were kissing.
Like a taint?
Ali V is too damn little, too damn late. His tirade is easily 25 years too late.
And badly spoken to boot.
Joe, Mika, Ali. Which one is not like the others?
One of them will be moved to the front of the line for the wall?
Dennis Prager has been diagnosed with pneumonia.
Please remember him this Thanksgiving.
Thank God Joe Biden's still in the White House. Pneumonia's treatable.
Remind me to send my condolences...to the pneumonia.
Oh ... no. Is the coffee ready?
Apply the leeches.
"The right wing YouTube host was found wandering the moors 'in a state of déshabillé', a bouquet of headless roses clutched in one hand, insistently crying out for "Haricot", a dairy maid and daughter of travellers who "had consumed his thoughts and fancies much these seven months past". Police warn locals to stay indoors and be prepared for the high probability of further Gothic incidents in the next few weeks."
Terrible, just terrible...
I read to "with" and I thought "shit, I'm going to have to be The Bigger Man, aren't I?" then I saw "pneumonia" and I sighed in relief.
I know, I know it's serious, but come on.
Such a nineteenth century illness is fitting for him.
My uncle used to call pneumonia the "old person's friend" I hope Dennis Prager slips away silently never to be remembered. That's the best I can do.
My 'best' is way worse than yours.
And would get me banned.
I was trying to avoid saying what I really think to avoid said banhammer!
When I first came here to the mommy blog I used a tactic to avoid the banhammer: I expressed the dark violence and ill will in my soul as fan fictions. The most violent ones usually involved fan fiction about the barbarian warlord known as Conan. I certainly would NEVER chop, stab, club or maim anyone because they said shitty things. But Conan? That guy has NO restraints. He ain’t afraid of any banhammer. In this case I would slightly modfiy Dennis Praeger’s name a bit, cast him as a malevolent wizard or king and set him in opposition to Conan. I would then describe the highly predictable results involving chopping, stabbing, clubbing and maiming.
Or death. I gotta admit I wrote a lot of death right into that fan fiction. Some favorite episodes include resolutions for Ammon Bundy, Jim Hoft, Rush Limbaugh, Ben Shapiro and of course the Orange POS.
BTW- Ben Shapiro suffered a particularly gruesome end- being laughed at to death.
It must be the vaccine!
😈
I tell ya, the Almighty is such a prankster!
Is that all?
It's a thing I am thankful for. We need to share our joy. It is amazing the power of vaccines like the one for pneumonia one I got last week.
oh, no thank you!
I'll remember him, all right.
I may just cast a circle and conduct a destruction ritual just for him.
Of Prager U?
A man whose success I honestly cannot comprehend. He manages to be as bigoted as people like Trump, as ignorant as Charlie Kirk, and as charismatic as grout.
A jack of all offs, master of none
Affirmative.
Ah.
Media when Trump was indicted: isn’t this too divisive? To heal our nation Trump must be pardoned!
Media when Trump threatens to prosecute all the democrats: This is totally normal and we are not going to question it. He won so he gets to do whatever he wants.
Thus is the all too amenable attitude of MAGAts within their self-contrived alternative universe.
We the rational have stubbornly remained on THIS side of the cracked looking glass.
NBC now has a huge top line article on their site about how TFG’s *defense lawyer* whom he nominated for a Deputy AG post may be able to prevent him from using the DOJ as retribution.
These are not serious people.
No, she's already vindictive. She'll show him new ways to hurt people.
Oh, NBC ... you sweet, summer child. Dementia Don will exact whatever retribution he wants using whatever agency he wants and there is JACK SHIT you say to change that.
You can still catch the reality train before Elno buys you out and turns you into TV twitter.
𝑚𝑎𝑦 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑢𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐷𝑂𝐽 𝑎𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛
Let's review the meaning of the word 'may' ...
Mainstream journalism is dead in This country. It’s all just entertainment now.
I still want the bread of the bread and circuses.
Thanks again, Ronnie!
You can kind of see trends and stuff running through the, let's say, criminal community and I've found it interesting in the past 2 decades to see how you hear one thing and think it's odd, and then a bit later you hear it again from another person, and then you see the trend.
Well, in the past week 2 different people were asked their names while being arrested and claimed to be the Archangel Michael. Both appear to have some mental health issues, but in 2 decades I've never seen that.
The Guardian Prince of Israel?
If Archie Mike can throw Lucifer the hell out of heaven, giving some liberal antichrist the toe should be no problem...
Is that what happened? I was at a party, and Lucifer was there, and Michael walked in, and, Jesus fuck, you could cut the tension with a knife.
Supernatural, how those servants of the lord can hold grudges...
I crashed hard last night. Woke up late and am behind in my do nothing plans for today. On the plus side I am down about eight pounds from Oct 30. That's 32 pounds from my ideal weight (which is still 'obese' on the BMI... I would have to lose my muscle mass to get to "normal") and about 20lbs away from where I can stop taking blood pressure medication and apnia ends, but not the night terrors.
hey well done on the weightloss, its a struggle!
BMI is an incredibly flawed metric, so fuck it.
My CPAP machine helps with the sleep apnia.
But it takes gags, sewn from high thread count sheets stolen from clothes lines in the rich part of town, to control my night terror induced shrieking.
The gags were recommended by the police who kept being called to my house by concerned neighbors after the recent election.
I guess I was lucky I didn't get shot.
(Or would it have been a mercy? I do wonder about that.)
Well done and congratulations! It takes considerable effort and discipline to achieve such goals but the results are ALWAYS worth it.
Trust me, as miserable as a diet and exercise program can be I can assure you that a stroke or a heart attack would be one HELLUVA lot worse, precious comrade. Stay the course, my friend.
You're not alone; paul has put himself on a diet and is trying to loose at least twenty pounds. I hope you two can encourage one another and both enjoy substantial success.
I credit it to my daily 20 Hours of Rage. My therapist says it is too much, so fuck him, his attitude is what got Trump elected! NOW WHAT PART OF THIS WALL STILL HAS SHEETROCK LEFT ON IT!
Me: "Mom, he's a rapist. He was convicted of felony fraud. He wants to hurt trans people, including your grandchild."
Mom: "Maybe we shouldn't talk about this."
That was yesterday. It's going to be a fun Thanksgiving.
that's rough. I don't want to say 'cut her out of your life' but brace yourself for hard decisions, i guess
I already didn't speak to my folks' for three years - so they know what I'm willing to do. But they're much older now and I'd rather leave options open as long as they're willing to let me berate their neanderthal views. It's mostly an accommodation on my part, but they know it's not an abstraction for me, and I'm willing to leave the country if shit turns bad, which means they might never see me again.
Sure, let's just let it fester.
🙉
“ I understand mom, when you’re ready to have that conversation we will talk about Thanksgiving.
If we don’t have the conversation before Thursday, we won’t be able to make it.
Have an extra piece of pie for me and your grandkid, and try to have a good time without us.”
Bring some homemade cookies.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/MyDoPe?section_id=33863612&zanpid=10723_1732463694_015be48b126005bd740ec98f22f9503b&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=affiliate_window&utm_campaign=eu_buyer&utm_content=349185&sv1=affiliate&sv_campaign_id=349185&utm_term=0&awc=10723_1732463694_015be48b126005bd740ec98f22f9503b
well that is certainly one way to go
The GOP Elephant in the room.
Maybe dont go.
I'd rather make them deeply uncomfortable by telling them how much worse things will be next year and giving them solid examples.
Ooh! You get to be the Bizarro World crazy Thanksgiving uncle.
All the MAGA family members have to put up with you ranting about what's actually happening around everyone.
Wasn't that a Sonny and Cher song?
/s
“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this.”
Ok, won’t see you at Thanksgiving then. I’ve kicked all my MAGA relatives to the curb and blocked them on my phone.
paul and I have done the same. Neither of us has to worry about Thanksgiving Day because he'll be on duty at the hospital and I'll be gimping around the house with Cat the Ripper and brooding.
When The Feline Menace is better company than your blood relatives...
Will you be able to join us for special movie the Addams family Skepti?
That would be fun to spend a little bit of the accursed day with you and Ripper!
I shall do my very level best!
Excellent!
And you got a couple of days to plan a nice snack to go with it
we’re gonna have fun aren’t we?
HELL yes!!!
Gimping around the house with Cat the Ripper and brooding sounds positively Victorian. It just needs some London fog.
As misty moist moisty as it's been over here on the east side every morning I suspect that's exactly the ambiance I shall be regarding through my war room window.
Sorry!
It's gonna be practice for the next four fucking years.
One of my fondest memories of my mom was when Nixon resigned. My grandmother was crying "poor man, poor man" and my mom was following her around laughing saying "he's a crook, mom!!!" My mom would've HATED watching PAB get elected once much less twice.