Wonkette Week In Review: Here's What All The Elites Were Reading!

Greetings, Wonkeratti! Time for another of our Top Ten countdowns, where we bring you the absolute best of the previous week -- or at least the stuff that got shared the most on Facebook, which Science tells us* is actually the same thing. Don't see your favorite story of the last week on this list? That is because you -- yes, you, personally -- did not share it enthusiastically enough on the Faces Book. Don't you feel like you failed your favorite story? Maybe you should do better next week! So here are the Big Winners:

10: We learned that the "Bible Code" proves for sure thatBarack Obama is the Antichrist, or at least that he sells Antichrist Accessories.

9: We met a GOP Senate candidate who will totally beat Cory Booker, justas long as no women vote. 

8: Ted Cruz willfix that dopey old Constitution so that mean old federal judges can't make marriage equality happen anymore.

7: Sarah Silverman's becoming a guy so she can stop paying suchhigh taxes on her vagina. 

6: RampantEbola Stupidity Syndrome threatened to infect most of rightwing America.

5: We found the actualPalin Brawl Police Report, and found out just how drunk Bristol was. Very.

4: The Supreme Court decided not to hear a bejillion marriage equality cases, anddeclared everybody fabulous. 

3: Medical expert, Pro-lifer, and complete sociopath Todd Kincannon figured out how to stop Ebola from killing people: Kill everybody diagnosed with Ebola. 

2: Georgia cops who burned off a baby's face with a stun grenade won't be charged with a crime, because they are Georgia cops.

1: The owner of Hobby Lobby explained that there's nothing hypocritical about profiting frominvestments in abortion drugs while not letting employees' insurance cover slut pills, because one involves making money and the other involves spending money, which is where morality comes from. (This was shared a whopping 298 times!)

* Note: Apparently this story is not quite accurate.