Summer has rolled up on us once again, and with it comes a dire threat. Like shark fins slicing through a sea of metal roofs, the plastic cheese wedges of inexperience are becoming a common sight on the roads. That’s right, a fresh new batch of teenz are taking the wheel of their driver’s ed blandmobiles and shakily maneuvering them through your neighborhood, and Yr. Teen Kolumnist is among them! Terrifying, innit? But don’t worry, we are put through
&quot;You&#039;re gonna die&quot; doesn&#039;t resonate with teenz, because they know they&#039;re immortal. A driver safety vid with some real-life survivors, on the other hand, would maybe drive home the notion that you don&#039;t want to live forever <i>looking like that.</i>
All joking aside KZ, this ludicrously over-the-top video crap is one thing, but keep this in mind: you are totally guaranteed to lose at least few of your friends to car accidents over the next 5 years. Count on it. I am NOT kidding. It&#039;s the number one cause of death for people in your age range, far surpassing any other. Just do everything you can to insure that when the moment happens, it isn&#039;t in your car.
Maybe I could hook up KidZoom with my brother for driver training. He works occasionally for car company promotional events, law enforcement, and the military. So, less about defensive driving than speed and making the other guy crash. But not boring, which is the important thing.
Wish we&#039;d been as clever as George Carlin and his classmates, who&#039;d draft confounding conundrums for the priest who came answer their theological questions on Friday afternoons: &quot;Hey, Fadduh--if God is all-powerful, can He create a stone so big dat even <i>He</i> can&#039;t lift it?&quot;
Our driver&#039;s ed teacher was an ineffective* oldster who would play the local xtian station on the radio, yell out the window at girls he thought were inappropriately dressed, and read from the bible. Good times.
*and given this was Florida, the bar was already set pretty low.
No, it was <a href="http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Glenn_Davis_%28athlete%29" target="_blank">Jeep Davis</a>. Fun guy, but I won&#039;t say I learned anything about driving, really.
So did I. Goddam.
Only because his facial hair hasn&#039;t come in yet.
<i>Sex Ed from off-season Green Bay Packers.</i>
That&#039;s not a euphemism for rape, is it? Just wanted to make sure.
&quot;You&#039;re gonna die&quot; doesn&#039;t resonate with teenz, because they know they&#039;re immortal. A driver safety vid with some real-life survivors, on the other hand, would maybe drive home the notion that you don&#039;t want to live forever <i>looking like that.</i>
&quot;Miley Cyrus&#039; Shorts Are So Short You Can See Almost Everything&quot;
Everything? As in, NSA-everything?!?
All joking aside KZ, this ludicrously over-the-top video crap is one thing, but keep this in mind: you are totally guaranteed to lose at least few of your friends to car accidents over the next 5 years. Count on it. I am NOT kidding. It&#039;s the number one cause of death for people in your age range, far surpassing any other. Just do everything you can to insure that when the moment happens, it isn&#039;t in your car.
Maybe I could hook up KidZoom with my brother for driver training. He works occasionally for car company promotional events, law enforcement, and the military. So, less about defensive driving than speed and making the other guy crash. But not boring, which is the important thing.
&quot;Mom, I&#039;m going out to practice controlling skids in the snow...&quot;
So, can you get over speed bumps really fast?
I&#039;ve driven the roads around Gold Bug Hot Springs. If that is what passes for highways in Idaho, then yes, you are going to die.
Wish we&#039;d been as clever as George Carlin and his classmates, who&#039;d draft confounding conundrums for the priest who came answer their theological questions on Friday afternoons: &quot;Hey, Fadduh--if God is all-powerful, can He create a stone so big dat even <i>He</i> can&#039;t lift it?&quot;
Not only that, but sleeping policemen, too.
Our driver&#039;s ed teacher was an ineffective* oldster who would play the local xtian station on the radio, yell out the window at girls he thought were inappropriately dressed, and read from the bible. Good times.
*and given this was Florida, the bar was already set pretty low.
Teaching drivers&#039; ed in school is SOCIALIZUMS!
In Canada, we let the free market decide how much drivers&#039; ed you can afford.
I&#039;m not kidding about that actually, here&#039;s one area where the US is more progressive than Canada... Bask in it, Wonketeers!
No, it was <a href="http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Glenn_Davis_%28athlete%29" target="_blank">Jeep Davis</a>. Fun guy, but I won&#039;t say I learned anything about driving, really.
No, but you will sometimes find ads on the Wonket pushing something that car insurance companies will hate.