353 Comments

You're on!

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You don't know where you are, do you?

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I will admit I've not tried Stella's cider because cidre (and I get why they did that but also, shut UP Stella). Strongbow I've not tried, Ace pear cider is excellent. But pineapple? Why does that even exist?

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Here's something else. Once I found Experian had started charging my checking acct. every month tho I no longer subscribed and they knew it. First I got my money back and then I sent a letter to our atty. general Miss Kamala Harris to tell her about because I was so mad. I got a fab letter back asking more details and saying, "if you don't tell us about these things we don't know about them." It was good because-- Experian is supposed to protect you from exactly what they were doing. The letter was just so serious and just what was needed to make a person feel it's a good government. I also sat across from her at a dinner once and she is VERY SERIOUS. Possibly she and my husband were exchanging looks but I'm not sure. Her stepfather was up on the yelling with Keely Smith! It's true she is very pretty, all right.

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She enjoys fine wine and cuddling on the couch, probably.

When I was on one of those online dating services in the Bush 2 era looking for a "mate" (and, no, I wasn't looking for a sailor), I read this one cowboy's profile (his profile pic showed him in a huge cowboy hat, droopy mustache, and fresh-out-of-the-box cowboy shirt) which used no periods or commas, consistently misspelled "woman" as "women" (as in "I want a women who..."), and wrapped up his plea for a women with the confession that he enjoyed watching tv and "cuddling on the coach."

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I know, right? Imagine my horror. "Well... I'll just give it a YECHHHHHH NOOOOOOO (spit take)." Strongbow is real old-school English cider. And yes, "cidre." Please, Stella.

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OMG, was this an on vs. by accident? If so, whoosh and a long, long delay.

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Yay! I was so depressed that you didn't get it. I actually ran this by a buncha young'uns and they thought "on accident" was correct.

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If there was justice in this world, scrofula would see this so he could give me a Nelson Muntz "Ha-ha!"

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Dear World:

Please do more of what makes Breitbart unhappy.

kthx

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"[R]ejects the aristocratic principle of Nature . . . " The Lion King should not be the foundation of your beliefs. Even if it may be true that Whoopie Goldberg is a hyena.

Seriously, you're pro-aristocrat? Like the trees and animals somehow? You think living as peasants and serving some asshole with a hereditary title is the proper state of human existence? Yes, let's just go straight Game of Thrones.

Yes, I know this is copypasta, but I'm wondering if you actually believe this shit or not.

OK, edit, read the rest of its posts. Nevermind, 13 year-old. Heh heh BUTT pirate! I'm the funniest troll in all of junior high.

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sooo, race and nationalism gives humanity its premise of existence? Pretty weak premise.

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Ooo.. yeah, that's pretty weaksauce.

I mean, I know it's pretty much a mute point for all intensive purposes and not like a whole nother thing because they're pretty much one in the same.

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And if you ever find yourself in NY I will treat you to actual pizza.

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More weaksauce: it's a "moot" point. Sorry, but we were on the subject . . . .

Edit: Joke over head.

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*trailer's eyes narrow at scrofula*

Three to go...

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