We don't check in over at the Wall Street Journal's opinion page all that often because of the paywall and also, too, because it is the Wall Street Journal, but we really couldn't resist reading James Taranto's latest bit of hateful nonsense, because we are gluttons for punishment and also because the Editrix made us. Taranto, if you are not familiar,
Wasn't something similar that Philadelphia cop's defense for punching a woman. She got her face in the way of his fist and he can prove it cuz it was recorded on tape. Her face clearly made the first move.
I think the way it should be solved would be to spill a drink on the Wall Street Journal, which is obviously accosting people's common sense bits with terrible drunken meat-slab hands.
"Sorry, I crashed my penis into your vagina" is something that just happens when you're an inattentive male operating your penis around town, you see.
James Taranto, is being drunk, and driving a vehicle a crime? <i>Yes. Yes it is.</i>
Are you suggesting being drunk and owning a penis should be a crime? Yes. Yes, you are, without even realizing it.
Forcing an analogy should also be a crime, you terrible rape-apologist hack.
Ah, they know of my face to foot technique. I will try my crotch to fist move instead.
&quot;battle of the bulge&quot; LOVE it.
Wasn&#039;t something similar that Philadelphia cop&#039;s defense for punching a woman. She got her face in the way of his fist and he can prove it cuz it was recorded on tape. Her face clearly made the first move.
That&#039;s alright, you apologized like a lady. Now go make us some sammiches.
Of course, if you&#039;ve invited an Illinois Governor candidate to the party, this may cause other problems.
Well, if they are at a party with either a conga line or James Taranto, then they are to be blamed for their own terrible situation.
THEY BROUGHT IT ON THEMSELVES
I think the way it should be solved would be to spill a drink on the Wall Street Journal, which is obviously accosting people&#039;s common sense bits with terrible drunken meat-slab hands.
&quot;Taranto&#039;s Cry For Help: Someone Stop Me Before I Rape Again&quot;
&quot;Sorry, I crashed my penis into your vagina&quot; is something that just happens when you&#039;re an inattentive male operating your penis around town, you see.
James Taranto, is being drunk, and driving a vehicle a crime? <i>Yes. Yes it is.</i>
Are you suggesting being drunk and owning a penis should be a crime? Yes. Yes, you are, without even realizing it.
Forcing an analogy should also be a crime, you terrible rape-apologist hack.
When cars collide because people operating them are intoxicated, that is an accident.
When James Taranto invents excuses for someone raping someone else because they were intoxicated, that is premeditated rape-enabling. Right?
Oh, what, is specious logic only good for YOU to use, James?
&quot;diminished capacity owing to alcohol generally cannot serve as a mitigating factor, you enormous twit.&quot;
So the fact that he wrote this column in an alcoholic haze is no excuse?
Oh, bullshit. I&#039;ve been in conga lines when they were cool. Ha! Thirty years, indeed.
(2014 minus 30 carry the one .... .... ...)
Well, medieval France is right out.
The asshole seems not to appreciate the asymmetry between perpetrator and victim.
I think this is the most concise summary of the fallacy I&#039;ve seen.
I&#039;d tell you I would credit you when I use it, but I&#039;ll probably forget, so an upfist is the best I can promise.
Do you think there might be a place for James &quot;Giggity&quot; Taranto?
EVERYTHING is Obama&#039;s fault.