RAYE with Black Mascara - live at Montreux Jazz Festival 2024. If you haven't heard of her, it's a remarkable story of talent wasted while trapped in a deal with Polidor for seven years. Never allowed to release an album of her own while writing songs for and collaborating with some of the biggest stars in the world. Finally released from her contract, her debut album won 6 Brit awards including album of the year in 2024.
This is NC -- there will massive runs on the grocery stores etc. over the next two days with people acting like they think they're gonna be snowed in for a week.
The people out in the country, maybe. Around towns the main roads will be cleared by Monday and the secondaries soon thereafter, depending on how heavy the snow/ice actually is. The last time this area actually shut down for a prolonged period was the blizzard of 1993.
There’s forecasts which remain uncertain, but estimate an inch or more of ice. That zone will be dark for days and days, repair crews stretched from Tx to Va potentially.
I'm not even joking. I stayed in an AirBnb that had one and was all "the fuck? a remote control for arse washing? stupidest thing ever" but was a convert. Enjoy!
Do take a book though because it can be a process.
Also, too -- I was just about exactly like you, I thought it was kinda silly and then I tried one out and was instantly hooked. I've been waiting a very long time to have one of my own, so I'm extra excited that the time is nearly here.
The AirBnb one was Japanese and cost about twelve thousand fucking dollars - I looked it up. Which is lot for a butt cleaning device. I didn't spend that. It's still really good though.
Oh, yeah. I grabbed one of the manuals (we have two bathrooms, so two seats) to make sure it didn't get misplaced, since the installer had left them in the empty boxes, which were in the trash pile in the middle of the room.
Look here, my dude -- you can set up two profiles in there, one for him, one for her. Or if you're a her and the only one using it, one for the front and one for the back. Or one for summer and one for winter. Or whatever floats your boat, to coin a phrase.
Look, I know everyone likes to call it a vagina neck, but frankly, I feel that's an insult to vaginas. (Well, technically it's an insult to vulvae, but everyone refers to that whole set of structures as a vagina, so...)
It’s 53 mins past my lols… ugh another rotation round the … Aging Orb and also too extra not great number these … gd trying ridiculous omfg again times llls… bwahaha ha ha cheers
Since OoO is posting photos of old-time movie stars...
Today's Grandiloquent Word of the Day:
Crawk [krawk]
(n.)
- A radio actor skilled in the imitation of animal sounds.
(1930s radio slang)
Used in a sentence:
“My grandmother used to be a crawk on WOR-FM for the Tarzan of the Apes radio show; it was her flawless sedge-warbler impression that finally convinced Gramps to propose.”
Not just upset… they get sooo het up in their feeeeeeeelings emotions they’re not capABLE basic training … like they’re BodyCountBodyBags HRC running around in lady pantsuits serving up kiddos in nonexistent basements very public establishments …../ same abso bad poor brains using kids as bait rabid maga red meat … nothing changes until CU overturned. I read this absolutely… mind exploding article earlier about Dems abso profitting from SAME corp donors profitting from trampling constitution sickest ways taxpayer funded privatized profits basically torture. Dems wouldn’t even insist that US Citizens be spared illegal detention and deportation. That’s Fuuuuuucked. I trust Repukes be repukes nazis 💯. Can’t even trust Dems in power be that forthcoming… the friends knife us in bank and back everytime … I think I’ve come to actually loooooathe feckless shitheel feckless Dems w power even more than Nazi repukes. Oh lordt lols
Really, the only thing I can think of that I like related to Katy Perry is "Left Shark" from the Superb Owl show because Left Shark didn't give a fuck.
If you are sensitive about fat shaming, this might be the short for you. 13 minutes. The actress is amazing. You might want subtitles, but you should be able to read between the lines.
Damn, that is the greenest swimming pool I've ever seen. It looks more like a pond.
Also, too -- it looks like it has subtitles, they're just in a really small font. You can turn on YT's subtitles and get bigger ones, but it's a little confusing since they're displayed over the existing ones.
Well, sure -- she's trying to get a tiny bit into Sara's good graces now that she needs her help. No sense in reminding her how she's tortured her every time they've interacted up to now. She could harbor some resentment against their good clean fun. Some people just have no sense of humor, you know.
Yes, the pool is creepy as the body in the depths. No one would ever swim there. I imagine the short crew couldn't find a better place to record on their budget. But it works. That's the thing about shorts. They have shoestring budgets and limited time to shoot. But the message gets through- there is a guardian lurking. You see sunglasses and things left from past visitors.
I was guessing the sunglasses might have been from the person at the bottom of the pool.
When it opened with the arched bridge over one end and the very green water, I thought maybe it was some natural swimming hole that had been upgraded to make it more swimmer-friendly. But no, it looks like it's just a non-chlorinated pool that's been allowed to go feral (so to speak).
That's what I love about horror shorts- digging into details regarding acting, scenes and such. They get to the point. They distill the essence of horror into a small, short instead of a full-on movie. Sci Fi does te same thing. I prefer shorts- they aren't perfect, but I like the weird directions they take.
Agree. DUST is more sci-fi and really good. There are other horror sites that are hit and miss and some are made with meager means. But I like them. Sometimes I see shorts that fall short and I give constructive criticism as a fan. I figure I have to give feedback- not to punch down- but offer feedback on how to improve. I am weird that way.
I have subbed several horror channels. They all have their own flavors.
This trend of ICE thugs accidentally shooting each other is encouraging, please proceed!
Until they blame it on ANTIFA guerrilla fighters and start shooting with even less discrimination than they're using now.
Poorly trained and bad shots, they own it.
They're really leaning in to the "Star Wars Stormtroopers" comparison, aren't they?
"Spatter bullets around like a teenage boy watching game of thrones and let god sort it out" seems like their ethos
RAYE with Black Mascara - live at Montreux Jazz Festival 2024. If you haven't heard of her, it's a remarkable story of talent wasted while trapped in a deal with Polidor for seven years. Never allowed to release an album of her own while writing songs for and collaborating with some of the biggest stars in the world. Finally released from her contract, her debut album won 6 Brit awards including album of the year in 2024.
https://youtu.be/4GRfxJiQeyM?t=3237
The snow. It comes. Buy the bread. Buy the milk.
I have to get TP too, since I don't have a bidet!
This is NC -- there will massive runs on the grocery stores etc. over the next two days with people acting like they think they're gonna be snowed in for a week.
They might be. Iced in or without power.
The people out in the country, maybe. Around towns the main roads will be cleared by Monday and the secondaries soon thereafter, depending on how heavy the snow/ice actually is. The last time this area actually shut down for a prolonged period was the blizzard of 1993.
There’s forecasts which remain uncertain, but estimate an inch or more of ice. That zone will be dark for days and days, repair crews stretched from Tx to Va potentially.
We have achieved bidet seats at the house! I am so tempted to go out there later this morning, turn on the water and try one out.
https://substack.com/profile/5886535-jcfromnc/note/c-203334735
Don't you still need TP to at least dry off?
I was planning on taking a roll just in case.
What do you think the drying fan option is for?
Exactly how fucking long will this take??!!
“Yes, I’ll be there soon as I can, Im washing my ass”
Redd Foxx would approve:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uldt6Y-CE3s
You can speed it long by using TP and then letting the fan do touch-up.
I bought a bathroom kindle today lol
Oooo, look at the gent too posh for a magazine rack by the loo. lol
ETA: A Kindle is a much better option, honestly. It keeps your place when you switch from one device to another.
I am an American. I don't know about fans blowing up my ass going "Weer Weer" and causing brain cancer.
snerk! Where you keeping your brain?
And yet you eat chicken wings :sadpanda:
Nope. Drums or thighs. Wings are only good for soups or stock.
My opinion of you just improved.
Wings are just wrong.
I have one like that! I really like it. The heated arse water takes a little getting used to but it works very well.
It's got three temperature settings! I'm sure I can find one that's just right for this poppa bear.
I'm not even joking. I stayed in an AirBnb that had one and was all "the fuck? a remote control for arse washing? stupidest thing ever" but was a convert. Enjoy!
Do take a book though because it can be a process.
Also, too -- I was just about exactly like you, I thought it was kinda silly and then I tried one out and was instantly hooked. I've been waiting a very long time to have one of my own, so I'm extra excited that the time is nearly here.
The AirBnb one was Japanese and cost about twelve thousand fucking dollars - I looked it up. Which is lot for a butt cleaning device. I didn't spend that. It's still really good though.
Yeah, these things are pricey. Ours were relatively inexpensive for this item, but still not exactly cheap. But we really, really wanted them.
Oh, yeah. I grabbed one of the manuals (we have two bathrooms, so two seats) to make sure it didn't get misplaced, since the installer had left them in the empty boxes, which were in the trash pile in the middle of the room.
A controller for your potty. I can't even.
I have to admit my initial skepticism as well. However, they really are good.
Look here, my dude -- you can set up two profiles in there, one for him, one for her. Or if you're a her and the only one using it, one for the front and one for the back. Or one for summer and one for winter. Or whatever floats your boat, to coin a phrase.
Ooh, extra bougie!
I'm just having fun, hope it's everything you dreamed of.
If you like Exodus, here is a new teaser song from the new album. It's brutal as usual but different. I will pre order.
3111
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_Fv-oXYrvg
HAHAHAHA DON LEMON DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A VAGINA LOOKS LIKE OMG HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA THIS GUTFELD GUY IS SO DERN FUNNY!!1!11!!!1!
(ETA: Presently staying with family members who continually sing his praises. That was one of his genius-level jokes tonight, more or less.)
Surely Don has seen tfg's neck.
Look, I know everyone likes to call it a vagina neck, but frankly, I feel that's an insult to vaginas. (Well, technically it's an insult to vulvae, but everyone refers to that whole set of structures as a vagina, so...)
Well, he is a joke.
Gutfeld is the classic example of Brickpfeifengesicht.
Lot of that going around.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EyT0DVxW8AAdkHZ.jpg
Gutfeld is to comedy as yersinia pestis is to healthy babies.
I would like to meet Gutfeld in a dark parking lot to see how funny he is.
This is for WTAXF for....why not?
Catch These Fists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Kjz89xYmS4&pp=ygUHd2V0IGxlZw%3D%3D
Okay, puzzles await. Good night, night shift, awakening Aussies, and you Murkans who are still awake.
It’s 53 mins past my lols… ugh another rotation round the … Aging Orb and also too extra not great number these … gd trying ridiculous omfg again times llls… bwahaha ha ha cheers
Jiggly birthday to you! 🎁🎂
If I was a bully, I would have given you a swirlie as a senior in high school. But I was never that kind of person. Happy Birthday.
As a friend once said, Another year, another tear. He had a flair for the dramatic.
U & Skepti Abso Gems, TY! 💯🤩
It's a weird way of saying that I would have been a senior when you were a freshman.
Bottoms up and fire up!
Happy Birthday!
Happy orbital anniversary day!
"It’s 53 mins past my lols"
I hope they get better
My internal "fucked-to-English" translator thinks it's your birthday. If so, happy birthday.
I had to read the comments before I understood.
Oh! Okay, that makes it make more sense now.
She doesn't make it easy some days
Does anything make sense easy these days? Lordt U not wrong, let’s make it a
Super
Easy 47 loooools 😅✨🥂💗😇♾️🌀🎶🙏🐾🐾😹😎🌟
I love you but sometimes it's like talking to a really messed up Japanese video game from the 80s with dubious translation.
Translated by machine from Japanese to Urdu to English.
Dubious indeed 😽
TV shows that never got past the concept stage
"Seinfeld, the West Bank Settler Years"
"The Comedy Stylings Of Ted Cruz"
"OW MY BALLS!" with Ed Balls
"Michael Barrymore's Pool Party" guest starring Matthew Perry
Extreme Cash Cab with Dirty Den
Oh I love that one.
"Tool Time" with Rod Hull.
Wasn't it "Roof Time"?
"Karma and Greg"
"Young John Wick"
"Drunken Master, Knife-Thrower"
"Jake and the Penguin"
"The Meh Place"
"American Ninja Actuary"
"Young John Wick"
Well, if you're willing to use your imagination, this sort of exists:
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!G7wm!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F25e07c93-f2e2-4e18-8f8b-a8a8a47805cb_480x606.jpeg
"American Ninja Actuary"
I feel like I could do something with this one
"Precisely 8 feet 2.73 inches to that ledge. Calculating the necessary force..."
I originally wanted to call it "American Ninja Auditor"
I would watch the hell out of 'Young John Wick'...especially if it showed him in his elementary/junior high years. I pity the first bully he meets.
I used to date an auditor from PwC back in the days of yore. They can be ok.
The worst person I ever fucking worked with we called "Temu Voldemort". Just a dreadful, blame-filled hobgoblin of a chap.
His previous job? Actuary for UnitedHealthcare.
Ow my Balls would be a winner 💯
Since OoO is posting photos of old-time movie stars...
Today's Grandiloquent Word of the Day:
Crawk [krawk]
(n.)
- A radio actor skilled in the imitation of animal sounds.
(1930s radio slang)
Used in a sentence:
“My grandmother used to be a crawk on WOR-FM for the Tarzan of the Apes radio show; it was her flawless sedge-warbler impression that finally convinced Gramps to propose.”
Miss Sidney and Mr. Cooper were once spectacularly beautiful to look at.
https://substack.com/@oppositeofoligarch/note/c-203322305?r=1y1t5s&utm_source=notes-share-action&utm_medium=web
I expected chickens!
If it's any consolation, I think Gary used to have a rep as quite a cocksman.
LOL
I thought these were gonna be cats… sassy bodega cats even lols 😹😸😻😽
They are kinda MMMRRRROWWWWW.
VEEEERRRRYYY MMMMMMRRROWWWWW 😻🎶🔥🤩
They used a five year old as bait to kidnap his father, then kidnapped the child too.
They get very upset if you call them fascists and secret police.
Not just upset… they get sooo het up in their feeeeeeeelings emotions they’re not capABLE basic training … like they’re BodyCountBodyBags HRC running around in lady pantsuits serving up kiddos in nonexistent basements very public establishments …../ same abso bad poor brains using kids as bait rabid maga red meat … nothing changes until CU overturned. I read this absolutely… mind exploding article earlier about Dems abso profitting from SAME corp donors profitting from trampling constitution sickest ways taxpayer funded privatized profits basically torture. Dems wouldn’t even insist that US Citizens be spared illegal detention and deportation. That’s Fuuuuuucked. I trust Repukes be repukes nazis 💯. Can’t even trust Dems in power be that forthcoming… the friends knife us in bank and back everytime … I think I’ve come to actually loooooathe feckless shitheel feckless Dems w power even more than Nazi repukes. Oh lordt lols
https://prospect.org/2026/01/21/jeffries-wont-whip-vote-against-ice-funding/
Then stop behaving like fascists, nazis and secret police.
But that's the whole reason they enlisted in ICE! Way to take all the fun out of the job.
That *would* seem like the simple answer.
They really hate what I’ve been calling them.
Sometimes in person.
🤩
https://bsky.app/profile/paleofuture.bsky.social/post/3mcxxu2rt6227
They are crying about being hated.
Play hateful games, win hateful prizes.
When they’re crying cold and alone in the worst sort of prison, I’ll be interested.
Briefly.
Yeah that Rupert the Bear TV show was fucked up man.
"Bill the badger" contains two nouns and two verbs.
Isn't English fun?
The first episode could be gluing a pelican beak to a badger and letting it run around in a Pottery Barn.
Also I can think of many spinoffs from that title alone.
I like to think that Rupert's Dad was modeled on Bob Dobbs from the Cult of the Subgenius
Bob Dobbs: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/2e/28/bf/2e28bf5500ce546cca7fa22c5532ec33.jpg
Rupert's Dad: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8b/J.R._%22Bob%22_Dobbs.png
Say what you like about Katy Perry. This is an excellent pop song. Hot n Cold live in London 2012.
https://youtu.be/POJAkG9dTGE
"Say what you like about Katy Perry."
OK. She dated Russell Brand. She can fuck off.
She also worked with Dr. Luke and protected him after Kesha said he raped her.
She assumed Stevie Nicks has rivals.
Really, the only thing I can think of that I like related to Katy Perry is "Left Shark" from the Superb Owl show because Left Shark didn't give a fuck.
https://media.tenor.com/1ghjmrXa5NsAAAAM/shark-shark-dance.gif
Lollllsss, I forgot about Left Shark!!
Also, she was *MARRIED* to Russell Brand. He used to post pics of her sleeping. So disturbing.
If you are sensitive about fat shaming, this might be the short for you. 13 minutes. The actress is amazing. You might want subtitles, but you should be able to read between the lines.
Piggy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHgh2ajazTw&pp=2AbvBA%3D%3D
Damn, that is the greenest swimming pool I've ever seen. It looks more like a pond.
Also, too -- it looks like it has subtitles, they're just in a really small font. You can turn on YT's subtitles and get bigger ones, but it's a little confusing since they're displayed over the existing ones.
Notice how the bully calls her Piggy but calls her by her real name when she is in trouble.
Well, sure -- she's trying to get a tiny bit into Sara's good graces now that she needs her help. No sense in reminding her how she's tortured her every time they've interacted up to now. She could harbor some resentment against their good clean fun. Some people just have no sense of humor, you know.
Yes, the pool is creepy as the body in the depths. No one would ever swim there. I imagine the short crew couldn't find a better place to record on their budget. But it works. That's the thing about shorts. They have shoestring budgets and limited time to shoot. But the message gets through- there is a guardian lurking. You see sunglasses and things left from past visitors.
I was guessing the sunglasses might have been from the person at the bottom of the pool.
When it opened with the arched bridge over one end and the very green water, I thought maybe it was some natural swimming hole that had been upgraded to make it more swimmer-friendly. But no, it looks like it's just a non-chlorinated pool that's been allowed to go feral (so to speak).
That's what I love about horror shorts- digging into details regarding acting, scenes and such. They get to the point. They distill the essence of horror into a small, short instead of a full-on movie. Sci Fi does te same thing. I prefer shorts- they aren't perfect, but I like the weird directions they take.
Alter and Dust are both good channels for that sort of thing.
Agree. DUST is more sci-fi and really good. There are other horror sites that are hit and miss and some are made with meager means. But I like them. Sometimes I see shorts that fall short and I give constructive criticism as a fan. I figure I have to give feedback- not to punch down- but offer feedback on how to improve. I am weird that way.
I have subbed several horror channels. They all have their own flavors.
He won't, but it would be glorious.
======
How Clinton should testify about Epstein.
https://bsky.app/profile/wajali.bsky.social/post/3mcy6sxeonk25