Barack Obama will finally announce sometime today that Elizabeth Warren is America's new consumer-advocate czar. Warren will be appointed as a "special adviser" to the Consumer Protection Bureau. And because Warren is just doin' some harmless consulting work, there is no need for a Senate confirmation hearing, which is excellent because we all know that would have been a mess. So hooray, Elizabeth Warren will help you understand your monthly credit card debt-statement and your soul-crushing mortgage. Soon you will be begging Elizabeth Warren to stop, because if you are financially literate, how can you apply for credit cards you don't need or send in your Cash4Gold without feeling a little guilty? [
Republicans are dicks, exhibit 34232344B-12.5.