Your New Favorite Indiana Hero Wants To Arm All The Drunks, For Freedom

Like chocolate and peanut butter

What goes better together than guns and booze? Nothing, obviously. That's why Wonkette's new favorite state senator, and already a leading contender for Legislative Shitmuffin of 2016, Jim Tomes of Indiana, is gonna fight for your right to parrrrrtayyyyy:  

State Sen. Jim Tomes, a Republican from Wadesville, Ind., wants to remove a restriction that prohibits “alcohol abusers” from getting a license. The measure, Senate Bill 36, also would prohibit questions about drunken driving violations on handgun license applications or in interviews.

[contextly_sidebar id="EG5UWYEgvkGsT00AVYELNEblCb0FtJdj"]You may recognize Tomes from his earlier work of about an hour ago; he's the same uber-genius who has introduced a bill to round up all the transgender pee holes, for making potty in the wrong bathroom (according to Tomes), and toss them in jail. But that's just one can in Tomes's six-pack of genius legislation he's rolling out this year. Arming drunks makes perfect sense if you are Jim Tomes, founder of the NRA award-winning "2nd Amendment Patriots" (guess what their schtick is). And if there's some reason why a proven record of repeatedly using really poor, possibly fatal judgment while operating a piece of potentially lethal machinery should bar you from using your really poor, possibly fatal judgment to operateanotherpiece of even way more potentially lethal machinery, well, heck if Tomes can understand it:

“I don’t understand the connection between a DUI and obtaining a handgun license,” Tomes said. “If a person is an upstanding individual who is leaving a wedding reception or an anniversary party or is a husband and wife is out on a dinner date and has too much to drink, well, how would that compute to: Now you shouldn’t have a license to own a handgun?”

Who among us has not had a few too many nightcaps at an upstanding wedding reception date night with the missus and ended up with two "alcohol-related offenses offenses within three years, including at least one that has resulted in a conviction or treatment in an alcohol abuse facility," which is the definition of an "alcohol abuser" in Indiana?

Besides, as a true defender of freedom and privacy, Tomes knows that while the state definitely has a compelling interest in what kind of toilet you do your business in, it's nobody's business if you have a record of endangering your community. Says so right there in the Second Amendment, which is why Tomes's bill would prohibit handgun license applications from even asking, "Hey, supposedly responsible upstanding citizen, you ever spent a whole bunch of nights in the drunk tank and taken a rehab vacay?" That, unlike whether you sit or stand while pissing, is a private matter.

[ USA Today ]