We will be liveblogging tonight's Republican presidential debate which airs at 9 pm ET on the world's only television channel, Fox News. It will be the DEBATE OF THE CENTURY, if suddenly everyone else on the planet dies and lame people like Tim Pawlenty are the only human beings to exist for the rest of the century. Here's a handy drinking game to get you through the tedium:
Republicans want the Mexican vote the same way a construction worker wants the pretty woman he's yelling obscenities at while she walks down the street to sleep with him.
Maybe Meghan could show us her tits and let us decide if they are real or fake since we know that the predominant volume of her cranial space is filled with a mixture of inert noble gases. I would be willing to spend $0.99 to text my vote for that.
Given that it's Thursday night my gorgeous wife lets me endulge in engineering geekness by watching Modern Marvels on the History Channel. As I am sipping my Gentleman Jack, tonight's episode will be on heavy earth moving equipment. I'm hoping they show a Caterpillar D11 bulldozer with a coal blade digging a big ass hole and pushing in the Fox TV studio filled with presidential candidates, Gubnor Rick Perry, and journalists and filling up the hole.
Since that's a really mean-spirited fantasy I'm just hoping for some cuddling and that my wife keeps my glass fillled while nibbling on my ear.
Then drink a bottle of Goldschlager.
Libertine!
I googled that one.
<a href="http:\/\/www.motifake.com\/image\/demotivational-poster\/0903\/mmm-scotch-demotivational-poster-1236381825.jpg" target="_blank">Mmmmm...</a>
Good thing it&#039;s from last weekend, or else you might have to hear their inane opinions on the Bin Laden killing.
Every time Sarah&#039;s voice makes your skin crawl, drink a shot of Yukon Jack and snort a crushed Oxycontin.
Republicans want the Mexican vote the same way a construction worker wants the pretty woman he&#039;s yelling obscenities at while she walks down the street to sleep with him.
<a href="http:\/\/i1115.photobucket.com\/albums\/k551\/denniverse\/chesterfields.png" target="_blank">And a meme is born.</a>
<b>Someone says something perfectly reasonable:</b> in your drunken state, you&#039;ve accidentally changed the channel
I see no instructions on how to down my case of FourLoko.
THE MOST OPPRESSED BEVERAGE IN ALL HISTORY
Maybe Meghan could show us her tits and let us decide if they are real or fake since we know that the predominant volume of her cranial space is filled with a mixture of inert noble gases. I would be willing to spend $0.99 to text my vote for that.
Is the late Harold Stassen available? He&#039;s the REAL voice of experience!
Portal 2 or GTFO, Soshalist!
Given that it&#039;s Thursday night my gorgeous wife lets me endulge in engineering geekness by watching Modern Marvels on the History Channel. As I am sipping my Gentleman Jack, tonight&#039;s episode will be on heavy earth moving equipment. I&#039;m hoping they show a Caterpillar D11 bulldozer with a coal blade digging a big ass hole and pushing in the Fox TV studio filled with presidential candidates, Gubnor Rick Perry, and journalists and filling up the hole.
Since that&#039;s a really mean-spirited fantasy I&#039;m just hoping for some cuddling and that my wife keeps my glass fillled while nibbling on my ear.
can we stop talking about gross underdeveloped cells now?
thanks.
Every time a repub speaks take a drink. If you can still hear him, take another drink. Keep going until you can&#039;t hear them anymore.