16 Comments

Not everyone has the romantic style of George W. Bush who referred to his wife as 'the lump in the bed next to me".

Expand full comment

Horrible little ratmonsters? Why, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me today!

*hugs*

Expand full comment

Also, counting down the days until his liver finally surrenders.

Expand full comment

Sounds like someone's got a case of the sposedas

Expand full comment

<a href="http:\/\/fal.net\/101\/hearts.html" target="_blank">Relevant</a>.

Expand full comment

I'm sure he has fallbacks for when the lobbyists aren't buying.

Expand full comment

Meanwhile at the Boehner home….

JB: Honey, I bought you something for Valentine’s Day! Wife: For me? JB Open it. Wife: Why, it’s a bag of shit! JB: But it is very good shit.

Expand full comment

Well except for 1173-1189, when she was locked up by her husband.

Expand full comment

Well, he broke one of Cambell, Connelly & Woods' commandments already ("Don't tease her")

Expand full comment

"Yeah, well, you're just a... you're just a poopyhead!"

Expand full comment

Needz moar stench of malt liquor.

Expand full comment

Maybe he wouldn't be such an ineffectual drunk if he got pegged every now and again. (Probably not.)

Expand full comment

Is he ever sober?

Expand full comment

My grandparents did the same thing. I didn't realize he didn't actually live at her house until I was a little older. In their case, though, it was because my grandmother was a more-Catholic-than-the-Pope shrew.

Expand full comment

Yeah, for a "stupid Flanders mare," Anne of Cleves sure made out like a bandit. Got to keep her head, a few swanky palaces, a big allowance, and was officially ranked third in the kingdom after Henry and his wife du jour.

Katherine Parr, though, I don't think had it too bad. By the time she married him, he probably couldn't even get it up, so she didn't have to deal with him pawing at her. All of Henry's kids were greatly fond of her. And once he died, she got to marry the man she loved. (Too bad he was a slimy fucker who tried to rub up on Elizabeth when she was about 13 while Katherine was pregnant for political advantage.)

Expand full comment

People in normal occupations might find that the long-term cost of all the booze would be higher than the cost of a divorce. In Boner's case, the lobbyists don't pay for divorces.

Expand full comment