When I was a kid, my brothers & I were crazy into martial arts. Tae Kwon Do. We all earned 2nd degree black belts from a really respected master who came to Queens from Seoul to promote the sport (yes, I know it sounds absurd). We all taught classes for him until he retired. (And opened up a string of laundromats. HI yaaa!).
Anyway, one of the other instructors was an older Jewish guy named Mighty Mel Goldberg. He has a voice just like Jackie Mason so we called him The Aardvark. ("Hey ant! Come here! I'll break your wrist! And have you for lunch!").
Introducing the guy at promotional fights (which we participated in at PAL gyms, etc. - I loved beating up cops) was a pisser. "Ladies (as if) and gentlemen! In the blue corner! From Forest Hills Queens at 200 pounds (a lie) - Mel 'the Aardvark' Goooldberg!
Ba dum bomp, bomp, bomp-a-domp-a-domp, bomp, bomp, bomp-a-domp-domp ....
My catholic school nun shoved an english language dictionary into my hands in third grade and told me that book was now Required Reading. The first word in that dictionary was 'a'. The second word was 'aardvark'. It was a simpler time with a simpler dictionary.
Approximately 38 years ago I dug deep and bought an entire 15th edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica and received a bonus- a three volume Webster's Dictionary. Up until today I hadn't bothered to look and see if 'aardvark' still maintained it's place at the start of our common language.
Whoa! I didn't know 'a' had this many meanings. (I guess it is good to know?)
Happily once I waded past all the many meanings of 'a' there was our old friend 'aardvark'. The little illustration is not nearly as cute as the mommy blog tab. I'm just glad our friend the aardvark still maintains a lofty perch at the beginning of our alphabetized language.
Or is my 38 year old dictionary hopelessly old fashioned?
I remember the giant dictionary (can’t recall which, Merriam-Webster?) my parents had when I was a child. It was bigger than the Bible that they owned. I loved reading through the dictionary, loved reading about where words came from.
To think there was a time that I thought I might have a vocation to be a nun. Traditional Irish Catholic family - one child is meant for the church. When older brother flunked out of seminary, I almost felt obligated to take that on.
I only wanted to become a Maryknoll missionary nun to see the world.
By the time I was leaving junior high I was over it. Then as I was graduating from Marywood, a catholic women's college, I was amused to find out that almost all my friends reported that the nuns had tried to recruit them but they never brought it up to me.
Aardvarks are wonderful creatures, thank you for sharing them with us this morning! They remind me of my mother-in-law Nancy. She created a preschool and after-school program for low-income families in Denton, TX in the 80s through 2005 when she retired. She was amazing! She used Marc Brown's Arthur book series to teach the little ones, and used the cartoons as well when they came out in 1996. Arthur the Aardvark meant so much to her, because he meant so much to her students. When she was in and out of the hospital and rehab the last years of her life, she would watch her Arthur cartoons and get so much comfort from them.
She was able to see Biden come into office, and no one was happier to see the trump era end than Nancy! I'm so glad she's not around to see this, though.
My oldest daughter, when very young, had a beloved stuffed aardvark that she creatively named Aardy. After a few years the thing looked pretty filthy, so her mother decided to run it through the washer. To both of their horrors the damn thing disintegrated into a ragged wad of fluff.
OMG the stong ear game!! Maybe best ears ever! And the snouting around!!! I love that critter and want to pet and feel that pink surface, is it soft, I wonder? Or kinda bristly? Looks very soft.
I didn’t want to let another day go by without expressing my continuing support for Wonkette and for the new proposed schedule of articles. We can’t let the new administration jerk us around like puppets every time they do something horrible or stupid. I also appreciate how hard your jobs must be right now. I can at least go into an office where I don’t have to discuss politics unless I want to.
After my loud long furious ranting before I got to bed, when I first heard that Harris Walz were losing, I think I went numb for most of the day, but now I can't bear to read about the election.
I can't stand to see all the hopeful news and opinion pieces in my home newspaper. I hated the stunned looks on the faces of the people I followed on Youtube.
It breaks my heart now that so many people couldn't be bothered to vote and so many others actually chose him as the president. My one consolation is I maybe taught at most 2000 to 3000 so these MAGA folks can't all be my fault.
Today my niece is still teary but I am still mostly pissed off with a side of teary.
I guess George W Bush was not the one off I had hoped.
People will be dying because of this. I have decided to aim to live to 120, if it takes that long to finally see Trump get some well deserved punishment and jail time or at least he dies in an uncomfy way
Rebecca, I'm not leaving! Ever! I support your plans to reduce articles by your amazing staff. We ALL need a break, especially you, Dear Wonkette , for having done so much heavy lifting. I love you all and hope in my heart of hearts that all shall remain safe!
I just staggered out of bed, having used scotch & soda as a baby blanket last night. Becuz friends and family are having to deal with this crapola, I am NOT backing down on my beliefs (not that I would have anyways) and will always have their best interests in mind. SCREW drumpster and his ilk.
PS - I watched mob music vids earlier this morning. They help me feel better.
I don't like this publication strategy. I think we do need to know about every bad news, especially now. And I'd rather have somewhat shorter than less frequent posts at your site. Whatever you decide, RESPECT always.
Now that I live in the Eastern time zone, the hardest part of my day is when I start work early and there is no Tabs until 7am.
The second hardest is from 7am until 9am, the first news story.
But still, I approve this new direction. Though that means less snark and I NEED my snark for survival purposes. I have already added some new content.
Also, I recommend wtfjht.com for morning news roundup, which I'm getting back to. It started on Day 1 in 2016 or 17. And it's still ongoing and will be more important than ever.
Your hed gif newest baby animal celebrity info: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/its-aardvark-being-a-cub
And a meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/cc08a0be-3262-4072-966b-37f32f682609?utm_source=share
His little front paws are so sweet!
When I was a kid, my brothers & I were crazy into martial arts. Tae Kwon Do. We all earned 2nd degree black belts from a really respected master who came to Queens from Seoul to promote the sport (yes, I know it sounds absurd). We all taught classes for him until he retired. (And opened up a string of laundromats. HI yaaa!).
Anyway, one of the other instructors was an older Jewish guy named Mighty Mel Goldberg. He has a voice just like Jackie Mason so we called him The Aardvark. ("Hey ant! Come here! I'll break your wrist! And have you for lunch!").
Introducing the guy at promotional fights (which we participated in at PAL gyms, etc. - I loved beating up cops) was a pisser. "Ladies (as if) and gentlemen! In the blue corner! From Forest Hills Queens at 200 pounds (a lie) - Mel 'the Aardvark' Goooldberg!
Ba dum bomp, bomp, bomp-a-domp-a-domp, bomp, bomp, bomp-a-domp-domp ....
My catholic school nun shoved an english language dictionary into my hands in third grade and told me that book was now Required Reading. The first word in that dictionary was 'a'. The second word was 'aardvark'. It was a simpler time with a simpler dictionary.
Approximately 38 years ago I dug deep and bought an entire 15th edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica and received a bonus- a three volume Webster's Dictionary. Up until today I hadn't bothered to look and see if 'aardvark' still maintained it's place at the start of our common language.
Whoa! I didn't know 'a' had this many meanings. (I guess it is good to know?)
Happily once I waded past all the many meanings of 'a' there was our old friend 'aardvark'. The little illustration is not nearly as cute as the mommy blog tab. I'm just glad our friend the aardvark still maintains a lofty perch at the beginning of our alphabetized language.
Or is my 38 year old dictionary hopelessly old fashioned?
I remember the giant dictionary (can’t recall which, Merriam-Webster?) my parents had when I was a child. It was bigger than the Bible that they owned. I loved reading through the dictionary, loved reading about where words came from.
I also liked the pictures.
But the nuns always confused me when they said comic books, where words and pictures created stories, were bad.
To think there was a time that I thought I might have a vocation to be a nun. Traditional Irish Catholic family - one child is meant for the church. When older brother flunked out of seminary, I almost felt obligated to take that on.
I only wanted to become a Maryknoll missionary nun to see the world.
By the time I was leaving junior high I was over it. Then as I was graduating from Marywood, a catholic women's college, I was amused to find out that almost all my friends reported that the nuns had tried to recruit them but they never brought it up to me.
Thank you, as ever, 'Tini, for this goofy sweet critter.
Luvs me some aardvarks! Thanks; I needed that.
I now have an earworm, and am remembering my daughter and I singing along with this.
https://youtu.be/tDJe4gmxlbI?t=8
Aardvarks are wonderful creatures, thank you for sharing them with us this morning! They remind me of my mother-in-law Nancy. She created a preschool and after-school program for low-income families in Denton, TX in the 80s through 2005 when she retired. She was amazing! She used Marc Brown's Arthur book series to teach the little ones, and used the cartoons as well when they came out in 1996. Arthur the Aardvark meant so much to her, because he meant so much to her students. When she was in and out of the hospital and rehab the last years of her life, she would watch her Arthur cartoons and get so much comfort from them.
She was able to see Biden come into office, and no one was happier to see the trump era end than Nancy! I'm so glad she's not around to see this, though.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_(TV_series)
*hugs*
Suddenly I am taken back to my youth, nearly five decades ago, and the kids tv show "Wonderama", hosted by Bob McAllister...
"Everyone here / Has a right and left ear / Bot nobody here has an aardvark..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecpfMoIf5Vc
Jeebuzz, Wonderama! I recall Sonny Fox taking over from Chuck McCann... It did not sit well with some kids...
Youth, when we knew what mattered...
My oldest daughter, when very young, had a beloved stuffed aardvark that she creatively named Aardy. After a few years the thing looked pretty filthy, so her mother decided to run it through the washer. To both of their horrors the damn thing disintegrated into a ragged wad of fluff.
There were hard feelings and tears.
Hard Feelings and Tears is the name of my unwritten memoir, what a coincidence! 😁
My son had a stuffed ram which he named "Horny".
I once had a stuffed turkey. Well, not all by myself.
I missed out on the stuffed bell pepper incident on campus. Food poisoning is no fun.
Very precocious.
Reminds me of my stuffed animal owl that my dad got me when I was sick, I named it "Ooly."
That reminds me of a plush lamb doll my godmother got me when I was a baby that I named Lamby 😂
OMG the stong ear game!! Maybe best ears ever! And the snouting around!!! I love that critter and want to pet and feel that pink surface, is it soft, I wonder? Or kinda bristly? Looks very soft.
I believe that the term is snooting about.
eta: with it's snooot
God must have been high when he came up with the aardvark.
What happens when you cross an aardvark with a llama? It must be rrrridiculous.
Look up siphonophores in general, and Rycina Siphonophorae in particular. That's the day He was on acid.
whoa...
I'm pretty sure there are pokemon creatures hiding out in this category :)
I think he created avocados around the same time. Too much pit, not enough creamy green goodness.
Look for the avocados that are as long as possible, they tend to have smaller seeds. The round ones tend to be 75% seed, in my experience.
He did things in alphabetical order, and it took him a while to hit his stride....
And short lifespan
Right??? Talk about adding insult to injury.
And then He made the platypus.
That was some strong stuff
That reminds me of the old Ant & The Aardvark cartoon.
One of my favorites!
The haunches.
Are all aardvarks pigeon toed? Why hasn't the saying "aardvark toed" caught on?
Perhaps some research will take my mind off of implications and existential dread...
Oh, an aardvark - the Quaalude of animals.*
* thanks, Angela Carter!
𝘘𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘶𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘴...
𝘘𝘶𝘢𝘢𝘭𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘴 too.
That's an odd looking bunny!
Babby earth piggy!
I came here from referred from Jeff Tiedrich's daily email and decided to sign up.
Take care of yourselves! We’ll cope.
I so much appreciate that you include links to the source material, rather than just the barenaked snark.
I didn’t want to let another day go by without expressing my continuing support for Wonkette and for the new proposed schedule of articles. We can’t let the new administration jerk us around like puppets every time they do something horrible or stupid. I also appreciate how hard your jobs must be right now. I can at least go into an office where I don’t have to discuss politics unless I want to.
Thank you, Rebecca! I love all of you.
After my loud long furious ranting before I got to bed, when I first heard that Harris Walz were losing, I think I went numb for most of the day, but now I can't bear to read about the election.
I can't stand to see all the hopeful news and opinion pieces in my home newspaper. I hated the stunned looks on the faces of the people I followed on Youtube.
It breaks my heart now that so many people couldn't be bothered to vote and so many others actually chose him as the president. My one consolation is I maybe taught at most 2000 to 3000 so these MAGA folks can't all be my fault.
Today my niece is still teary but I am still mostly pissed off with a side of teary.
I guess George W Bush was not the one off I had hoped.
People will be dying because of this. I have decided to aim to live to 120, if it takes that long to finally see Trump get some well deserved punishment and jail time or at least he dies in an uncomfy way
I agree with Trae Crowder.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6bBXN3I-2gAfter
Rebecca, I'm not leaving! Ever! I support your plans to reduce articles by your amazing staff. We ALL need a break, especially you, Dear Wonkette , for having done so much heavy lifting. I love you all and hope in my heart of hearts that all shall remain safe!
You may hear from me less. But I'll still be reading Wonkette and The Moral High Ground regularly. One of the last safe havens we have left.
I'm all for less posts. I see most of the same material multiple times.
I would like to announce I canceled the Washington Post and NOT WONKETTE.
I just staggered out of bed, having used scotch & soda as a baby blanket last night. Becuz friends and family are having to deal with this crapola, I am NOT backing down on my beliefs (not that I would have anyways) and will always have their best interests in mind. SCREW drumpster and his ilk.
PS - I watched mob music vids earlier this morning. They help me feel better.
I don't like this publication strategy. I think we do need to know about every bad news, especially now. And I'd rather have somewhat shorter than less frequent posts at your site. Whatever you decide, RESPECT always.
pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft
Now that I live in the Eastern time zone, the hardest part of my day is when I start work early and there is no Tabs until 7am.
The second hardest is from 7am until 9am, the first news story.
But still, I approve this new direction. Though that means less snark and I NEED my snark for survival purposes. I have already added some new content.
Also, I recommend wtfjht.com for morning news roundup, which I'm getting back to. It started on Day 1 in 2016 or 17. And it's still ongoing and will be more important than ever.
Doug Porter on Collective Action
https://dougporter.substack.com/p/organize-but-for-what
I just realized he's wearing a wonkette hat in his user photo.
I had a choir rehearsal last night. I got to sing songs of hope and love with a group of very nice people and it helped
totally approve of this new policy. i haven't been able to get thru daily wonkette since Trump 1 (the warm up act).