You're Still Alive? She Said. Tabs, Thurs., Nov. 7, 2024

Some housekeeping and maybe a morning news roundup!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Good morning friends and terrible ones and NO GOOD MORNING TO ENEMIES. As you know by now, I write tabs the day before. And today I took a whole two hour break and now I need to go pick the girls up from school — Shy said Donna Rose thought he was being a tricker when he told her the news when she woke up. (I had promised to wake her up for good news, which of course we did not get. And then having been up till Hell Dawn, I was not awake to break it to her before school.) After I get the girls from school, instead of working more, and later, again, I am going to drink this motherfucking champagne I put in the fridge two days ago, with a friend. There is literally no reason not to. And like I squeezed my mom this morning, and then my friend and assistant Felicia, we shall hug and cry and say we’re scared.

So there may or may not be any “tabs” in here this morning, but I do want to let you know what we’re planning. No, not crimes, and I’m not talking about plans for our Massive Resistance. We all need a nap, that can come later. Rather, I’m talking about how Wonkette is going to work in your and our daily lives.

Dok, Evan, Robyn, Marcie (whose hire date of 1/1/25 I’ll probably move up!) and I discussed how we want this site, which is the second home for many of you, to work during the Accursed Administration. I had been thinking for a while that we’ve just got too many posts each day — we aim each day for 10 to 12. And you know what? Nobody else does that. Not anyone. It’s not really necessary and it’s too fucking much!

We covered every last item out of Trump I, and we’re not going to attempt it again. It’s unsustainable, it’s untenable, it made my hair fall out in clumps, and it’s fucking inhumane. What we are thinking now is of roughly halving our output: a morning news roundup; an evening Axios Bullet Point What the Fuck Happened Today so we can document the atrocities; and an essay each from our main writers — plus possibly another writer I’m attempting to nonsexually woo. You don’t need 12 posts from us each day on Every Bad News, Every Asshole Thing An Asshole Said, And A Nice Time If We Can Possibly Find It. It’ll let our writers thinker more, go deeper, and incidentally not die. We’ll still have cocktails, and recipes, dick jokes, and more! Because goddammit we’re going to have joy!

And it’ll keep your inbox tidier too.

Yesterday, 34 of you canceled your subscriptions — to clarify, since people are asking, they just can’t do the news right now! I get it! I’m not disappointed OR mad! — and 16 of you signed up to say WE SUPPORT YOU (you being me, and Dok, and Evan, and Robyn, and Marcie, and the freelance gang, and each other). Our country took a giant step toward the right, all over the place, and it was driven by propaganda and a feckless media, I think. And I hope, I truly hope, that we will stay the same fuck you to power we’ve been the past 20 years, and that nothing will be so actually terrible we’d hush ourselves from fear. I’m hoping the threats and promises of what he would do to us — We the (enemies of the) People — were bluster and blather, and that things will just suck and not actually kill us. Oh no, an audit? Let me get all my records, they’re color coded with tabs! I’m really hoping we were just catastrophizing all that.

I guess we’ll just see!

I love you all equally, except you. Don’t tell your sister, I love you the most.

A tab: Local good news nature ballot things! (Nature)

Another one: How to be prepared and grounded now that that literal monster has won. (Waging Nonviolence)

A song: