You've Got To Have Friends! Tabs, Fri., June 5, 2026

Morning news roundup and Montreal Wonkparty info!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

BON JOUR! Montreal, don’t forget we’re coming at you in just a weekish! Kiss us on our faces Sunday, June 14, 3-5 p.m., for French Canadian counterprogramming to Donald Trump’s gross birthday party! We shall dine and drink at Stella Pizzeria, 1327 Laurier Ave E, Montreal, QC H2J 3R3. Join us for YAY!

Now can we interest you in some freshly foraged tabs?

The House says no to Trump’s stupid war. Yes, that the House. (The Fucking News)

The crime droog slushfund isn’t dead, because true love can never die. (Our Liz at Public Notice)

Hey maybe it’s time to meet Andrea LaFlamme! (Andrea for Maine) This story about men defending Graham Platner misogynistly came out about six hours too soon. (Liberal Currents) Because this is a very bad story about Graham Platner :/ (Gift link New York Times)

Let’s change the channel to James Talarico.

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Oh good lord. Trump’s new pick for director of national intelligence Bill Pulte was a memestock clown who grifted off conspiracy theories about a secret plan to save Bed Bath and Beyond. And that description is fairly sanewashed compared to the whole actual story. (The Bulwark)

Corporate donors to his ugly ballroom bunker have raked in more than $50 billion in new or increased government contracts in just the past six months, and/or had federal “enforcement actions” against them suspended. What good friends! (Public Citizen report Ballroom Billions)

The National Parks chief told these protesters their signs about “Trump Raped Little Girls” had been evaluated under all appropriate standards and found to be “obscene.” Then he sent the Secret Service to arrest them for “death threat.” (Our Liz at Law and Chaos)

Andrew Boutros, the US Attorney in Chicago in charge of the clusterfuck “Broadview Six” indictments, seems to think the main issue was that a grand jury transcript said “AUSA (inaudible)” instead of the AUSA’s name. I don’t think that was the main issue! (US Attorney’s Office) The AP ignored that stupid part and just went with “this whole thing was pretty bad yo.” (Paraphrase.) (AP)

Who cut the DOGE whistleblower’s brakes? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Wired)

Trump is using the Defense Production Act to spend $700 million on coal, for “national security.” Probably mandate that all fighter jets have to run on them too, why not. (Reuters)

Trump slept through his own announcement.

Everybody hates data centers now. That was really really fast! (Heatwave)

This is a very good bill by Sen. Ruben Gallego to start taxing rich shitheads as soon as they borrow against their assets :) (Gallego)

And they’re taking his name back off the Kennedy Center, bet he arrests the lawyer who told staff they have to :) (CNN)

One Dirty Martini Pasta please! (Better Homes and Gardens)

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Join your friend ZiggyWiggy Saturday at 9 p.m. Eastern for Wonkette movie night! This week you’ll be watching Milk, available with subscription on Prime; free with ads on Dailymotion; $3.99 in the usual places.

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Parties upcoming! MONTREAL (June 14), JUST ADDED DETROIT (June 27), MISSOULA (July 25), ATLANTA (but we won’t be there, because “see Missoula,” July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! TIME TO PARTY!

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