Would you look at that, after 93 percent of the first-round primary ballots for mayor of New York City are in, it’s looking like a stunner for 33-year-old Democratic Socialist Zohran Mamdani, and former Governor Andrew Cuomo has conceded! Happy hot progressive summer!
It’s not official-official yet, because Mamdani did not get 50 percent, the ranked-choice votes will be tallied and announced on July 1, then July 14 is the official due date for cured ballots, with final certification scheduled for July 15. But with 93 percent of the votes in, Mamdani has a commanding lead of 43.5 percent of first-choice votes over Andrew Cuomo’s 36.4 percent, and Comptroller/Real American Mensch Brad Lander is at 11.3. But Lander and Mamdani adorably endorsed one another, so the odds that Mamdani can get enough second choices from Brad Lander’s votes are writing-on-the-wall high enough that Cuomo conceded before midnight.
And then there’ll be the general election in November, which is not ranked-choice, and Trump asset Eric Adams is running as an independent, and possibly Cuomo too; he says he will “reassess” after he analyses and talks to some colleagues. Go for it, gropey, spend more millionaire money to lose some more! Take some Eric Adams votes with you!
There’s a Republican candidate too, Curtis Sliwa, who ran uncontested. That’s a name you Gen X’ers and older surely remember! He founded the Guardian Angels in the 1970s, that group that roamed the subways in matching raspberry berets looking for crime to fight. But then Sliwa got busted faking dramatic subway rescues, faking racist graffiti at GA headquarters, and even faking his own kidnapping by transit police officers who he claimed were mad because he was crimefighting so good, LOL! New York is so colorful.
Back to what a big fucking deal this is, a Democratic Socialist highly probably being mayor of New York! He would also be the first Muslim, and the youngest mayor since a guy named Hugh Grant was elected in 1889. And the first Millennial, so Millennial he met his wife Rama Duwaji on Hinge and married her at the courthouse. She’s an illustrator and animator from Brooklyn via Damascus, look how chic they are:
Maybe this goes to show that even with buckets of money barraging them with fear-mongering ads, New Yorkers are maybe tired of the Democratic establishment. And voters are more willing to go with a relatively untested leader over a career-politican nepo-baby with name recognition than one might assume, particularly when the new-guy candidate is a master of the viral-video arts.
Mamdani rocketed out of seemingly nowhere; in a poll taken February 3-5, Mamdani was literally polling at one percent. But his numbers went up by about 10 points a month, as his zingy videos and then epic smackdown of Cuomo at the debate spread like wildfire. He kept his message laser-focused and simple: Make New York affordable.
In the end, Bill Clinton’s Cuomo endorsement meant nothing, and neither did the millions that Bloomberg and conservative donors poured (allegedly in a rule-breaking kind of way) into Cuomo’s PAC. And, or, maybe everybody just hates Cuomo.
Speak it, Brad Lander:
But hopefully Cuomo’s defeat is a harbinger of good fucking riddance to that entire genre, the group New York magazine calls the “Belligerent Democratic Centrist”: rich, Republican-enabling deal-cutters engaged in “hippie punching” and bending over backwards to make a point of how “business friendly” they are, swanning in the spotlight for themselves while at the same time blocking any meaningful progressive reforms that might actually improve the lives of non-millionaire New Yorkers. Maybe, just maybe, wokeness IS the antidote to Trump.
Or then again, maybe it was because Cuomo is just despicable, an angry upstate carpetbagger, and everybody is tired of his face. Rebecca Traister at New York magazine has covered the operatic drama of Cuomo and his bullying, shitty personality and the doings of his dirty little hench-people from the jump, and even if you don’t live in New York, and Cuomo is hopefully retiring to Westchester and irrelevancy, or at least a CNN commentary gig, her pieces put the gross in engrossing reading. Here’s a list to take to the beach:
Abuse and Power: Andrew Cuomo’s governorship has been defined by cruelty that disguised chronic mismanagement. Why was that celebrated for so long?
Melissa DeRosa’s Revenge Campaign: With an eviscerating new book, Andrew Cuomo’s former lieutenant is settling scores and prepping a comeback.
How Is Andrew Cuomo Still Here? A shocking new report is a test of his ability to bend reality to his will.
Short version, Cuomo did not only grope, bully and harass women, but also molested taxpayer dollars, wasting them on fighting his critics and covering up his mistakes, like all those nursing home deaths. And for a guy who claims to be the antidote to Trump, he’s pretty damn Trumpy: defined by cruelty, manipulative, vengeful, image-obsessed, keeping dossiers on his enemies, including journalists, and always seeking to settle scores. With so much energy spent trying to destroy his critics, it’s no wonder he never got much done.
Oh well, bye, we hope.
Now for conservatives absolutely losing their racist little minds, because oh boy are they. And there’s so much stuff in Mamdani’s bio to scorch a right-winger’s behind!
His parents are from India, they both went to Harvard, and his father is the Professor of Government and a Professor of Anthropology, Political Science and African Studies at Columbia University. And son Zohran was born in UGANDA, and still owns some land there, like Lion King, and his bachelor's degree is in Africana studies. He just became a citizen in 2018. And did we mention he is MOOOSLIM?! Limber up your fingers, conservatives, it’s time to type some bigoted shit!
Catholic Elise Stefanik, spokeslady for the Jewish people. Never mind that Mamdani has condemned antisemitism at every turn, we will surely be hearing the “antisemitic” and “terrorist”-type racism daily until November, and for the rest of Mamdani’s career, if he wins, because they’re an uncreative bunch.
“Proud Islamophobe” / sleep-paralysis demon Laura Loomer got full 9/11 on X: “There will be another 9/11 in NYC and [Mamdani] will be to blame.” And, “New Yorkers forgot all about the victims of 9/11 killed by Muslims. Now a Muslim Communist will be the mayor of New York City. Get out while you can.”
Remember that time Donald Trump pardoned 1,500 January 6 terrorists?
Anyway, human Adobe pinch tool Charlie Kirk is also going ape:
Christian Nationalist terrorists have killed thousands in the name of a pro-gun Jesus, and now Christian Nationalist Charlie Kirk is running his mouth.
Anyway, buckle up! Let us leave the last word to Mamdani declaring victory, to Chinatown and up and down. More of this, please, universe!
I wonder if Charlie Kirk stops to think of the hundreds of thousands of people that have already died because the US decided to be cruel little bitches and cut aid off to the desperately poor.
Nah, they not white.
Spare us the outrage, you racist headballoon.
I said this elsewhere, but well done to Mr Mamdani.
But the job is only half done.
Remember that scaremongering about crime is going to be a tactic used to upset Democratic primary winners. Expect all the "OMG Crime is out of control!" stories to come up, as well as the moment any unhoused or mentally ill person does something bad, especially on the subway.
Keep top eye, friends, and remember...Democrats need to be perfect...Republicans only need excuses. So Mr Mamdani needs to make sure every T is crossed and every I dotted for his general election campaign.
I am also strangely impressed that Cuomo conceded, wow.