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Video screenshot, Scott Wagner on Facebook

Now that Republicans are all having a case of the vapors over the Violent Rhetoric of the Left -- what with Tucker Carlson warning the Democrats are coming to slay you with machetes and Rand Paul's wife arming herself to shoot liberal home invaders like Cory Booker, while the Civility Police fret over Hillary Clinton -- it's refreshing to see one Republican eschew all that wimpy "civility" stuff and campaign like a MAN. Pennsylvania waste management baron Scott Wagner, the Republican nominee for governor, was ticked off by a billboard erected by a group that supports incumbent Democratic Gov. Tom Wolf. So naturally enough, Wagner made a Facebook video in which he's filmed standing in a gravel pit, bitching about the billboard, and warning Wolf, "You better put a catcher's mask on your face because I'm going to stomp all over your face with golf spikes."

Proper safety equipment is so important.


If you want to lose three minutes of your afternoon, here's the full Facebook rant, in which Wagner accuses "Tom Wolf and his Democrat cronies" of putting up the objectionable billboard (the billboards were actually placed by an independent advocacy group, so no, not the Wolf campaign).

The billboard says "Scott Wagner's Penn Waste sued 6,979 Pennsylvanians. Learn Why," and links to a website focusing on the supposed dirty deeds of Penn Waste. Gosh, what a terrible billboard, yells Wagner, who may want to get his blood pressure checked. He HAS TO sue people who don't pay their bills, doesn't Tom Wolf (who did not buy the billboards) even know how business works? Here's the whole stupid thing, although the really unhinged bit is right at the end:

The piled-up stuff in the green chair is Wagner's employees' paychecks, which he dragged down into the gravel pit to prove he has to sue deadbeats so he can pay his many fine workers, you IDIOT.

Or you could skip all that nonsense and watch this excerpt of the good part, where Wagner says stuff that would get his comments removed by the moderator if he said it on Wonkette.

To be clear, we don't think Scott Wagner actually intends to do this. But since the wingnuttosphere has been going absolutely NUTS over Eric Holder making a much milder joke, because ehrmagerd lookit the violence, we figure this is probably worth a mention. Because he's just the kind of guy who would cast aspersions on someone's asparagus, Holder joked at a campaign appearance in Georgia the other day, playing off Michelle Obama's catchphrase and adjusting it for the Trump Era:

"Michelle always says 'When they go low, we go high,'" Holder told the crowd. "No. No. When they go low, we kick them."

He then went on, immediately, to say he didn't mean it literally, as if that helped at all, because why would anyone include that in their Outrage Video? In any case, shame on Eric Holder for setting such a bad example for Republican candidates, who are very impressionable, after all.

Donald Trump -- who literally called for protesters to be beaten up -- even took some time out of his busy day Thursday to condemn Holder on "Fox and Friends," warning,

He better be careful what he's wishing for [...] That's a disgusting statement for him to make.

We're waiting for the conservative outrage over a GOP gubernatorial candidate making a far more graphic joke about face-stomping. Should be along any moment now. Yep, here it comes.

Oh, heck, at this rate, Trump will probably post a tweet wondering what size shoes Wagner wears and Sean Hannity will declare it the perfect lighthearted answer to the violent liberal mob.

[PennLive / Philly.com / USA Today / Fox News]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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We know a few things about Donald Trump for 100% certain.

One is that his brain is broken. There are a million examples, but here's one, from this afternoon:

MICHAEL. FLYNN. PLEADED. GUILTY. TO. LYING. TO. THE. FBI!

A judge is not "looking into that situation," you fucking moron!

OK let us not get distracted, as that is not the point of this post.

Another thing we know about Donald Trump is that he sniffs A LOT. During all the debates, he sniffed. During lots of his Hitler rally speeches, he sniffs. When he's on foreign soil, he sniffs. When he's hunkered athwart his golden toilet Makin' Twitters, we assume he sniffs.

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My idiot brother used to get that face during rants

Kentucky's Extra-Crispy wingnut governor Matt Bevin sure knows how to pick a fight. A few years back, during his failed bid to primary Mitch "Top Turtle" McConnell, Bevin explained how "chicken boxing" was a benign pastime that even the founding fathers enjoyed, and also a great big states' rights issue. Once in office, he was, predictably, a reliable supporter of stupid ideas, like spending a lot of money to ramp up a "work requirements" bureaucracy to make sure fewer people received Medicaid, thus spending more but claiming he'd "saved" money. He also claimed this year that striking teachers probably caused an invisible wave of child rape and death, because kids weren't in school. No, of course there wasn't any such result, but hey, it's OK, Bevin eventually not-pologized.

Bevin's other specialty is trying to drum up a good culture-war panic, like that time in 2016 when he predicted there'd be bloodshed if Hillary Clinton were elected, because sane governors predict civil war all the time. That desire to warn of impending calamity seems to be behind Bevin's latest idiocy, a Twitter rant yesterday in response to national investigative nonprofit ProPublica's decision to partner with the Louisville Courier-Journal for coverage of state government. So it only makes sense Bevin would lose his shit over the fact that one of the many sources of funding for ProPublica is George Soros's Open Society Foundation. How dare those monsters bring their radical leftist "reporting" to the Commonwealth of Kentucky!

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