Sarah Palin Responds To John McCain's Death By Whining About Nicolle Wallace (Because She's A Dick)

It's been almost 48 hours since John McCain died, which means The Mourning is in full effect and everybody's got something to say. The White House is back to normal and the flag is no longer at half staff, of course, because apparently even Trump sending that milquetoast tweet about thoughts 'n' prayers to the McCain family took an act of God, because that's how much of a shitty little fuckbaby the president of the United States is.

On cable TV, the tributes have been nonstop, and at this point we've seen that goddamn batty old lady telling John McCain that Barack Obama is an Arab and McCain heroically and valiantly saying "nah" so many times we think MSNBC may have turned it into a "This Is Who We Are" commercial.

But what does Sarah Palin think about it? Can we even wrap our head around John McCain's death if we don't consider Palin's surely garbled reaction to the passing of the man who catapulted her at America's face without asking if we wanted to have Sarah Palin catapulted at all our faces? Surely not.

Her official reaction was official.

You can hear the "But also too doncha know, if you stay and help me season these moose chops so Todd can put 'em on the Big Green Egg, I'll tell you the real shit" at the end of that official statement, can't you? She will remember the good times. Which implies that she could tell you about some bad times that she still has a stick up her ass about.

The Daily Mail did its job, god bless it:

I respect his military service. I think it's unfortunate that he had people around him - and they continued to be around him for a very long time - who weren't serving him well,' she said.

'They certainly weren't serving the country well with what they were trying to do.'

'I believe he was told things about what America really wanted or really needed because he's been in that DC bubble for so many years. [...]

'I think that's unfortunate because he had some strange people around him and...disloyal people, and you know, I don't say that as like hate speech or griping about it, it's just a fact they were just some not nice people.'

She's not hate speechin' ya! She's just saying Nicolle Wallace is a bitch.

No, really, that's what she's saying.

For context, you'll remember that McCain, in his book, said he regretted having plucked La Grifta out of her Wasilla homestead, and that he really should have just picked Joe Lieberman as his running mate, because at least then they could have lost the 2008 election with some dignity intact. (We added that last part about losing.) Palin was pretty sure that was just John McCain's ghostwriter goin' rogue when he wrote that. She also said he was constantly telling her he was very sorry about his aides who were mean to her, "some who now staff MSNBC," by which she means Nicolle Wallace and Steve Schmidt. Palin will never abandon her rage toward those two, whom she is now calling "disloyal," because in her mind, it was their fault 2008 went as poorly as it did. And because Palin has approximately the same capacity for self-reflection Donald Trump has, she will never stop specifically blaming Wallace for that time Katie Couric asked Sarah Palin what newspapers she read and she said ALL OF 'EM, KATIE.

It's not that Sarah Palin is beating a dead wolf she just shot out the door of a low-flying airplane or anything, and she certainly does not want to dwell:

'I'll remember the good times that's for darn sure. And I won't re-hash the strange times that happened after the campaign that some of his people orchestrated.'

No rehash! No rehash! You are the rehasher!

And she doesn't like it when you go after John McCain's military service, and if you do, OH BOY, Mama Grizzly is not going to stand for that, no she will not:

'I think go ahead criticize his politics, but you bring up that military service, you slam him as a vet, and I'll defend him as aggressively as I defend my own kids.

Hey, remember that time ...

Todd Palin also said some stuff to the Daily Mail, but ain't nobody got time for him.

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[Daily Mail]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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