Palins Scalp Witness To Their Epic Snowbilly Battle As First Sort Of Reported By Your Wonkette
Important updates are flying in left and right regarding the big Anchorage birthday party dust-up involving America’s favorite hillbilly family that doesn’t count a child named Honey Boo Boo among its ranks. (Which, when we think about it, is kind of surprising.) We are speaking, of course, of grifter queen Sarah Palin, husband Todd, and their brood of geographically named children. Let’s brawlsplore!
This morning Good Morning Americaaired a segment on the story, and for a little local color, the producers spoke to a guest at the party who witnessed the fight. The man, Eric Thompson, works for a company called McKenna Brothers Paving, which is owned by twin brothers Marc and Matt McKenna, and the party, held at the home of the company’s office manager, was to celebrate the twins’ birthday. (Marc is also, like Todd Palin, an Iron Dog snow machine racer and the two families, according to the blog PoliticalGates, are close.)
Thompson described the scene thusly:
Bristol just reached back and started clocking him. She hit him, you know, reached way back here and caught him right in the chin, like, you know, I counted at least six times.[…]
They were knocking his head back, and he’d straighten his head back up, and he’d get hit again.
Then, after the fight ended and the Palins were asked to hop in their Hummer stretch limo and vamoose,
I heard Sarah Palin scream out, “You know who we are, don’t you?” It was like we were just on a Jerry Springer episode.
Now you know how the rest of America has felt since September of 2008.
Best part of the GMA segment might be the banter between the anchors at the end, when none of them can believe that this brawl wasn’t caught on film. To which we say, amen! Video of a drunken Bristol punching a dude while Todd tries to choke a guy out and gets a bloody nose for his efforts would really make our weekend.
In fact, if you have video of this brawl, why not send it to yr Wonkette? We will pay you in whore diamonds and all the beer you can drink at our next Northwest drink thingy! (You’ll have to get yourself to the Northwest for that.)
The sad part, though, is that Eric Thompson was apparently fired from his job after appearing on Good Morning America. Yr Wonkette hopes every construction company in the state of Alaska is beating down his door to offer him a new gig.
Stay tuned for more updates of this latest Palin family saga on Lifestyles of the Rich and Classless.