Password To Kris Kobach's Ratfucking Voter Database Definitely Not 'Password' (Yes It Is)

This douche will give you a rash.

These Guys Would Be A Lot More Dangerous If They Weren't Complete Fuck-Ups: Chapter 754,223

Time to check in with The Presidential Commission on Voter Integrity, a body dedicated to fighting the scourge of millions of Hispanic and black voters banishing Republicans to permanent minority status after getting crapped on by the GOP their whole lives. Or as Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach, the guy who runs the commission, puts it as he reaches under the table to caress Donald Trump's meaty thighs, "You won New Hampshire, Daddy. And California, too."

Kobach is running for governor of Kansas, when he isn't running this dumb commission or moonlighting at Dead Breitbart's Home for Brooks Brothers Reactionaries. As Kansas secretary of State, he managed to convince Kansas, which is 87% white, that its voting rolls were awash in illegal brown voters. Felons and immigrants and old people without drivers licenses, OH MY! So Kansas turned its voter data over to a company called Crosscheck, which is supposed to weed out ineligible voters. Sure, it kicks up 99 false positives for every one ineligible voter. But better to disenfranchise the 99 than to let the one bad guy through, right? Freedom isn't free, people!

Trump's Voter Fraud Ratfucking Commission was Kobach's best hope to take this disenfranchisement algorithm nationwide. All he needed was the names of a few brown dudes registered to vote in more than one state, and Fox News would take care of the rest. They could ride that tide of racial resentment to mandatory photo ID, poll taxes, maybe even a poll test! But now the whole thing is FUBAR, and no one is even sure if or when the Commission will even meet again. Sad!

You see, instead of fitting itself into the narrative about scary browns hijacking our election, Kobach's most favorite company Crosscheck is now starring in the hit series, TIME TO PANIC! YOUR PERSONAL DATA HAS BEEN COMPROMISED!

Crosscheck parked voter data from 32 states on an insecure FTP server in Arkansas and set up an elaborate system of firewalls to protect the integrity of the vote in accordance with the Commission's mandate. It did not go well.

Look, here's Crosscheck pinky swearing it doesn't send voter database passwords to secretaries of State via email:

And here's an unenecrypted email from April 2017 sent to officials from all 32 participating states with the password to their shared database of 98 million voters. May your day be blessed!

In fact, usernames and passwords to the entire database were sent via blast email at the beginning of every year. Via ProPublica:

Arkansas employees sent emails to Crosscheck members containing the FTP address, the username and the password in the same email, which is considered bad security practice. Operating procedures included in the records request show that this practice was standard — Crosscheck instructed all three things to be sent in a single email every January before the matches were done.

And, ooopsie, these password emails are subject to FOIA requests, which is how Florida wound up releasing the names and last 4 digits of SSN's of 1,400 Kansas voters.

These Crosscheck tech wizards can't even be bothered to change the passwords every year:

Although, if you're sending it out in an unencrypted email that's subject to FOIA disclosure anyway, what damn difference does it make whether you change it? You might as well post it on Facebook!

So, if you're using two-factor authentication on your Gmail account, congratulations! You're more tech savvy than the guys managing Kobach's ratfuck database of 90 million American voters. Last year Russians hacked into voter registries in 39 states, and instead of tightening it up we're throwing open the door and inviting them in. All so Republicans can find fifty guys named Juan Diaz and toss them off the voter rolls. Dios mio! And also, Fuck You, Kris! And your little dog Hans von Spakovsky, too!

[Indivisible Chicago / Think Progress / Mother Jones / ProPublica]

Please click here to help us to keep our own servers secure from the ratfuckers!

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc