Pastor Will Love Trump Even If He Dog-Fights On Princess Diana's Grave While Boning Non-Melanias, KNOW WHY? HERE'S WHY
At last, a dissenting opinion to counter the lib lies coming out of Christianity Today!
Right-wing batshit Christian people are so mad about the Drag Queen Story Hour, where the fun and funny drag queens dress up and read to children at the library, we have never seen anything like it, except for all the other times right-wing batshit Christians have been mad about a random thing.
Thanks to Right Wing Watch, which pays attention to alllllll these crazy fuckers, we can share you a message of Christmas cheer, in the form of a pastor named Jonathan Shuttlesworth, who wants us all to know that Donald Trump can do nothing to lose his undying support, because at least Trump doesn't like the Drag Queen Story Hour. Can he shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue? PFFFFT OBVIOUSLY, be more creative, everyone!
Right-wing pastor Jonathan Shuttlesworth says he'll continue to support Trump even if he's found to be running a do… https://t.co/oOmo4nysR5— Right Wing Watch (@Right Wing Watch)1576873926.0
OK! Sex crime! Another drag queen sexual predator found grooming children in Texas elementary school!
Look at this! [BANG BANG POUND TABLE]
I don't care if you found out that Trump fights dogs every weekend in the White House. I don't care if you find out that Donald Trump runs a dog-fighting ring on Princess Diana's grave in England. That does not outweigh this!
President Trump has been found running a dog-fighting ring on Princess Diana's gr-, on Mother Teresa's grave, while having affairs with women he's --
I don't -- IT DOESN'T OUTWEIGH THIS!
IT DOESN'T OUTWEIGH THIS!
There is a drag queen! In Texas! And according to very important news website "Big League Politics," her name is Kitty Litter and she was part of a Drag Queen Story Hour event. And according to Tony Perkins and the Family Research Council hate group, which never lies, Ms. Kitty Litter was at one time picked up for prostitution. And TBH, even though that has zero to do with reading to children, it's probably a good idea to make sure that sex offenders aren't allowed to participate in the reading to children program.
The district says it ran the background check, according to CBN News:
"We ran the background check in Sept. 2019 and [David Robinson's AKA Kitty Litter's] record came back clean," [said Austin Independent School District spokesperson Eduardo Villa.]
Of course, there may be more to the story that we're not finding, since every Google search result is a screaming wingnut bellyaching about how the drag queens are indoctrinating the children. Right up there, this Shuttlesworth character claims Ms. Kitty Litter was grooming children.
You know, as opposed to reading to them. Or being a greeter for the event, which is what CBN News says Ms. Litter actually did.
Of course, Tony Perkins is equally pissed that another drag queen, Lynn Adonis, did a "guest cosmetology" thing with some kids at a different school, even though -- wait for it -- she does not have a cosmetology license, FAKE NEWS!
[A] man with the stage name Lynn Adonis also visited class — this time as a guest cosmetologist. There's just one problem: he isn't one. He's an entertainer — and a drag queen one at that.
Never thought we'd say this, but Tony Perkins is going to need to see your cosmetology license, madam.
Our point is that MAYBE Perkins and Shuttlesworth and other similar characters -- MAYBE -- are not arguing about this in good faith. MAYBE.
Our other point is clearly they should make sure the wrong people don't end up drag-queen-reading to the children, but you could say that for literally any group of people that works with children. For instance, we hear daily about pastors and youth group leaders in conservative churches who probably should have been vetted more before letting them around children or other human beings in general, which tends to become apparent when they get arrested for, like, sexually abusing kids and stuff. (Read Dan Savage's "Youth Pastor Watch" sometime. It's illuminating!)
See? It's possible to have a rational reaction to all this!
The not-rational reaction is: IT IS OK WITH ME IF DONALD TRUMP STARTS BONING ALL THE NON-MELANIAS ON TOP OF A DOG-FIGHTING RING ON MOTHER TERESA'S GRAVE AND ALSO PRINCESS DIANA'S GRAVE, AND ALSO IT IS OK WITH ME IF DONALD TRUMP PERSONALLY FIGHTS DOGS AT THE WHITE HOUSE ON THE WEEKENDS, BECAUSE AT LEAST DONALD TRUMP DOESN'T DO DRAG QUEEN STORY HOUR!
Rudy Giuliani might be interested in participating though:
And if he is interested in Drag Queening with the children, Rudy Giuliani should not be allowed to do so, because that man is not all the way well, we do not think.
This began as a post about a crazy person ranting about loving Trump and hating drag queens, and it ended with a picture of a dragged out Rudy Giuliani putting perfume on his neck so Donald Trump can do licky sniffs to it.
In other words, totally normal Wonkette post.
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