Pat Robertson Can't Believe You Thought He Wanted Gays And Muslims To Kill Each Other Just Cause He Said So


Pat Robertson is a bad person. Let's just get that out of the way now before delving into his predictably horrible comments about the Orlando shooting. He is a bad person who says bad things! And if I were a religious person, this would be me literally every time he opened his mouth to say anything, ever.

But I'm not, so I will just leave it at him being a very, very bad person.

Instead of making the slightest bit of effort, in a time of national tragedy, to be marginally kind, Robertson took this time to whine about how liberals are in some kind of bind because said tragedy involves their VERY FAVORITE PEOPLE, Muslims and gay people. And it's tough, he says, because there are Muslims who hate gay people.

We’re looking at a favored group by the left, the homosexuals, and that in Islam is punishable by death or imprisonment or some sanction, so what are the left going to do? How are they going to describe it? And they don’t know quite what to do now. The fact that this Islamic gentleman opens fire in a gay nightclub and kills almost 50 homosexuals, that says something and tells the fact that Islam is against homosexuality, so the liberals are going to be scrambling to find some rationale, I think they’re going to have a hard time doing it.

Actually, we absolutely do know what to do here! We're fine, Pat Robertson! Don't worry about us! Because, you see, we don't actually need to condemn swaths of people who had nothing to do with this attack, and are just as heartbroken by it as the rest of us (you know there are gay Muslims, dontcha?), in order to decry what happened in Orlando.

Are we to hold every Christian on earth responsible for your hateful rhetoric? Require that they all apologize every time you accuse gay people of causing a natural disaster, or suggest that they have special spikey rings they are using to give people HIV? Should they all be held responsible for terrorists like Eric Rudolph, the Olympic Park bomber, who was fond of bombing abortion clinics and gay bars? Are they all responsible for Robert Lewis Dear? Are they responsible for the myriad preachers, televangelists and Christian YouTube personalities who constantly preach that gay people should be put to death, because that's what the Christian god wants? No? Then you can shut the hell up, because you already know how we handle things like this!

He then started talking about how D.H. Lawrence was a colonel who was very popular among the Arabs, and one time maybe had sexytimes with an Arab sheik? He was, of course, referring to T.E. Lawrence (AKA "Lawrence of Arabia"), not the author of Lady Chatterly's Lover. Though I will admit to being slightly confused for a moment about this, because I hadn't had my coffee yet, and TBH it has been a while since I have given much thought to Peter O'Toole.

ANYWAY! Robertson has decided that it is best not to get involved in this little scrape, but rather to heat up some popcorn and watch as everything burns. After all, the gays are just not grateful enough to people like Pat Robertson for not killing them, so they deserve all they get! And LIBERALS, with their wanting people to love whoever the fuck they want to love, and practice whatever religion they want to practice, and their not judging every single member of one of the world's largest religions on the actions of some psychopath, will be the ones what caused it all. Or something.

“The left is having a dilemma of major proportions and I think for those of us who disagree with some of their policies, the best thing to do is to sit on the sidelines and let them kill themselves,” he says. Charming! It is what they deserve, clearly, for not being grateful enough to Christians like Pat Robertson who only want them to not have rights (or sex, ever), and aren't even trying to murder them. If Pat Robertson cannot get a small THANK YOU for not having murdered any LGBT people, then all those ungrateful bastards deserve whatever they get.

Of course, the 700 Club is now simply AGHAST that anyone took Robertson's Christlike words to mean that he wants to watch gay people and Muslims kill each other. Even though that is literally what he said!

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc