Pat Robertson Pretty Sure Obama's Going To Behead Everybody Just Like He Did In Oklahoma
Today, we've learned a little more aboutlast Thursday's awful murder in Oklahoma, and according to the local district attorney, it appears that racial animosity may have had more to do with Alton Nolen's motives than religion did.
Now, this does not fit with the Wingnut Theory of the case, because 1) Nolen had converted to Islam in prison, and 2) he beheaded one victim, Colleen Hufford, and was attempting to cut the throat of another woman when he was shot by a hero with a gun.
This is the preferred theory for televangelist Pat Robertson, who insisted Wednesday that the killings could only have been due to Islam. “Most murderers don’t cut off the heads of their victims but the Islamic people do,” Robertson explained on his 700 Club show, because Pat Robertson knows stuff.
The "Jihad in Oklahoma" hypothesis was weakened a bit Tuesday when Cleveland County District Attorney Greg Mashburn said Nolen had been suspended after several employees had complained that he'd made remarks about not liking white people. Traci Johnson, the woman who survived the attack, was one of those who'd complained; Nolen apparently killed Colleen Hufford simply because she was in his way.
Further, the FBI announced Monday that there were no indications that the murder was related to terrorism, although that didn't carry much weight with a group of Oklahoma legislators who are pretty sure it has to be terrorism, because 1) beheading and 2) Muslim, DUH. You'd think the wingnuts would be happy enough to have a real live black racist, but that's not nearly as exciting as a terrorist.
And by golly, Pat Robertson knows more about this crime than the DA and the FBI, too. After all, not only do Muslims cut off heads -- it's just what they do -- Robertson is also pretty darn sure that any suggestion that Alton Nolen is merely a violent, unhinged guy who lost it when he was fired just has to be willful denial, political correctness, and probably a cover-up orchestrated by Barack Obama, who's secretly Muslim, maybe:
Ladies and gentlemen, we have to identify the enemy, and political correctness says we can't do it. We’ve got somebody in the White House whose father, I believe, he came from Kenya, he may have been a communist, whether he was Islamic we’re not sure, but Obama was trained, his stepfather was indeed a Muslim and they lived in Indonesia for a number of years so he’s sympathetic.
Robertson then explained that Islam is not a peaceful religion, and that all Muslims are sleeper agents, maybe:
It is a very violent religious belief and it has political ramifications as well and what they want to establish is a caliphate and the sooner we recognize what we’re dealing with -- but apparently Obama refused to listen to the voices of his own intelligence chiefs.
Robertson closed on another wingnut tangent, the debunked claim that Obama has "missed 60 percent" of his intelligence briefings. In reality-land, Obama prefers to read the daily briefing report rather than have an in-person briefing, but if you don't have someone read it to you, apparently that counts as "ignoring" it.
One last note on the whole "beheadings-are-Islamic" thing: Yr Doktor Zoom remembers a truly gruesome crime in the Boise, Idaho, area in 2006, where a guy killed his estranged wife, cut off her head, and then took the head with him as he attempted to commit suicide by crashing his pickup into another vehicle, killing a woman and her 4-year-old child. We're wondering if maybe that case should be re-opened just in case it was also secretly jihad -- and maybe time-traveling Obama is covering that up too.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.