Pat Robertson Saves Caller's Kids From Lifetime of Subaru Ownership, Comfortable Shoes
Pat Robertson is slowing down; in the old days, he used to turn hurricanes away from the East coast; now, he focuses on more attainable goals, like telling a nice Christian lady to be polite to her lesbian friend, but not to invite her into her home, because you don't want to run the risk of your kids catching teh ghey, now do you? After all, she might scratch them with one of those AIDS rings that the gays are all using. Crisis averted!
On his 700 Club teevee show Thursday, Robertson replied to "Catherine," a viewer who said that she'd recently reconnected with a childhood best friend who she hadn't seen since high school. Catherine wasn't sure about letting her friend meet her kids, though, because, oh no, her friend "asked if she could bring her 'partner'" -- so what should she do? After all, she doesn't want to be mean like her friend's family, who have shunned her.
Ever the pragmatist, Robertson explained that there was no need to shun her friend, just as long as she didn't actually allow her inside her home where the children might get all gayed up:
“You keep love, you loved her, you were close and your influence may have something significant to her, the idea is you don’t gain anything by shunning,” Robertson said. “But at the same you don’t want your children to grow up as lesbians, that’s what you’re talking about, you don’t want to show them that that’s an acceptable lifestyle for your family.”
He added: “It doesn’t hurt to tell somebody: I love you, we are going to do what we can to be friends if we can. I have my lifestyle, it’s Christian and you have yours, it’s not; I’m sorry we can’t indulge in certain things together.”
You know, indulging in wild extravagances like letting my children know of your existence, good friend of mine.
This one is really kind of heartbreaking -- Catherine didn't want to echo her friend's awful family, but then she wrote to Pat Robertson, who snatched her right back from the brink of acting like a decent human being.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.