Pat Robertson Says Putin Just Following God's Orders To Attack Israel. Yes, Israel.

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Pat Robertson Says Putin Just Following God's Orders To Attack Israel. Yes, Israel.

Once in a blue moon, everybody looks at each other and says "whoa!" because Pat Robertson says something that just utterly makes sense, or at least 50 percent makes sense. "Whoa!" they say, because they're not used to that from Pat Robertson, whose balls are 76,984 years old.

Today is not one of those days. The reverend decided to talk about Russia and Ukraine. It wasn't his best outing.



“All of those troops there are going to be coming against Israel in the latter days. And God says, ‘I am going to take care of it.’ But is Putin insane? Well, yes and no."

Wait is somebody attacking Israel? There's some good journalism out there right now about how all of this is putting Israel in a mighty touchy spot, but we think we missed the part where somebody is attacking Israel.

“Because he is being driven to move against Israel because God says ‘I’m going to put hooks in your jaws and I’m going to bring you down on them.’ Now you get the picture."

Oh, we get the picture. Wait what?

“And there is the land that is set up in Ezekiel 38 and you see how Ukraine is key because you see the land bridge between Bulgaria, Greece, and Turkey."

Ah yes. Ezekiel 38, about Gog and Magog, which some Bible scholars think is a prophecy about a great war where Russia and Iran and others join up to attack Israel. Pat Robertson's website was talking about it just a few days ago. Clearly Pat Robertson is getting his rapture jetpack on and he is soooooo excited right now.

So as Pat was just explaining ...

“And I think you can say, ‘Well, Putin is out of his mind,’ and yes, maybe so. But at the same time, he’s being compelled by God.

“He went into Ukraine, but that wasn’t his goal."

That wasn't his goal. He's just been talking about reconstituting the old Soviet Union borders and avenging the shame of the end of the Cold War for years to trick us.

"His goal was to move against Israel ultimately. And he will link up with Turkey across the little land bridge, and they will come together."

Russia doin' the little land bridge with Turkey. Pat Robertson is an awesome warblogger.

“And all of that area is going to be mobilized against Israel in the latter days. And God says, ‘I am going to deal with it.’

“So you can look at your map. You can read your newspapers. You can listen to your news. But know of a fact that God is bringing to pass what he prophesied years ago through his servant Ezekiel.

“And you read it in the 38th passage of Ezekiel, one through six, it’s all there. And God is getting ready to do something amazing and that will be fulfilled. Read your Bible because it’s coming to pass.”

Okeydokey artichokey.

Pat Robertson came out of retirement to say that, huh? Well, if things take a turn and Putin starts attacking Israel, you heard it from Pat. If not, then you still heard this from Pat.

[Transcript via Joe.My.God]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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