Pat Robertson: Witches Might Curse Your Ultrasound Babbies If You Post Them On Facebook


We at the Wonkette don't like to talk about every single stupid thing Pat Robertson says, because that would be a full website in and of itself, but man oh man, once in a while, Pat brings us some wisdom that we MUST, by law, share with you. One of Pat's viewers, Cynthia, is very excited because she is going to be a grandmommy soon, but she is worried, because all the young kids with the Facebooks and the Obama phones are constantly posting pictures of their ultrasounds, so that everybody can be confused by what they're looking at together. Cynthia would like to know if this is a sin or not.

[contextly_sidebar id="tTgqRUZoCuYpTOVAPO6Sikc1nY4kx4u7"]

Pat responds that no, of course not, it is not a sin, but it could open your unborn baby up to DEMONS. You see, the way it works, apparently, is that there are demons in the world, and they all have Facebook, and probably also Pinterest, but instead of using it to share uplifting memes and cat pictures and recipes, they are apparently scouring it for all the delicious ultrasound pictures they can find. And then, a "cultist or a coven," of witches or Dungeons and Dragons players (same thing), might get ahold of the picture, because apparently young conservative Christian families don't know how to use Facebook privacy settings. Then the coven will possess the fetus baby, in thine own mother's womb, by "muttering curses against an unborn child." Always muttering, those covens.

Also, why do people post the "most intimate part of their body" on Facebook, wonders Pat? Did you know, ladies, that your uterus is the most intimate part of your body? Why, when you post your ultrasound pictures, might as well post pictures of the parents' genitals too, geez you kids these days, why you gotta share EVERYTHING?

So, to sum up, the baby's parents are not sinning and thus will get to go to heaven with Pat Robertson, but the baby's ultrasound fetus picture has been cursed by a coven of demons from Facebook and is now their property, and this is why you really should tinker around with your Facebook privacy settings if you don't want to encounter the same fate. We DO hope Editrix Rebecca is listening to Pat's advice, as we cannot have the Wonkette Baby being owned by witches.

[Raw Story]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate with CC
Donate with CC
Photo: GoFundMe

Well, goddamn it, a wonderful person we'd never heard of until last night is dead. Lyra McKee was 29, an investigative journalist who specialized in looking at the legacy of "the Troubles" in Northern Ireland. She was murdered by someone shooting at police during rioting in Derry, or perhaps Londonderry, depending on who you want to piss off by using either name for the city. The rioting broke out after police "started carrying out searches in the area because of concerns that militant republicans were storing firearms and explosives" in advance of attacks planned to mark the anniversary of the 1916 Easter Rising. Police are blaming the violence and McKee's death on the "New Irish Republican Army," a radical republican group formed a few years ago from several smaller groups. Despite the name, the group has no ties to the old Provisional Irish Republican Army, which renounced violence and disarmed in 2005 following the 1998 Good Friday Agreement, which was supposed to have brought peace to Northern Ireland, and kind of did, at least much of the time.

McKee is being remembered by colleagues and readers as a promising journalist who was expected to go far. A year ago, McKee signed a two-book deal with Faber & Faber; the first of the books, The Lost Boys, an investigation of eight young men who disappeared in Belfast during the Troubles in the '60s and '70s, will be published next year. A 2016 Forbes profile said "McKee's passion is to dig into topics that others don't care about." For instance, CNN reports, McKee spent five years investigating a story about the only rape crisis center in Northern Ireland and its long struggle to regain funding after the government eliminated it.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc