That's not even good grammar!

Earlier this week, Paul Ryan's super-PAC, the Congressional Leadership Fund, used information from former CIA agent Abigail Spanberger's private security clearance form to paint her as some kind of raving terrorist enabler. You see, Spanberger is a Democrat running for Congress, and smearing the opposition is what America is all about. Turns out the Congressional Leadership Fund is really good at smearing people! It almost makes us wonder whether Paul Ryan, that great intellectual force in the Republican Party, is maybe not the paragon of concern for the poor and justice for all that he makes himself out to be. (This is one of those subtle rhetorical moves where the proper response is, "No shit, Sherlock.")

Oh, but it's not just the sleazy attacks on Abigail Spanberger in Virginia. Ryan's super-PAC is smearing Democrats all over the country with a well-funded attack machine that churns out ad after ad accusing Dems of all sorts of perfidy. That almost always includes being a mindless vassal of the dreaded Nancy Pelosi, who looms over most of the ads like a gorgon. The group dropped $10 million on a fresh round of ads starting in mid-August.

Go skim through CLF's YouTube collection and you'll see the same tropes over and over. All grim narration, scary black-and-white images with digitally faked "distressed film" effects," and apocalyptic intimations of doom if the evil Dems have their way. And along the way, a few cheerful assertions that Democrats running for Congress are literally supporting terrorism, giving all your hard-earned tax money to the undeserving poor, and of course letting illegal immigrants run wild across an open border, bringing drugs and crime and taco trucks.

The worst of the lot is this smear job on Ohio's Aftab Pureval, who was born and raised in Ohio but has that scary foreign name. He's of Indian and Tibetan heritage, but how about suggesting he's some kind of terrorist sympathizer, nudge-nudge? After all, he worked at a lobbying firm that once represented Libya. Obviously, Pureval is therefore connected with the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie, and CAN'T BE TRUSTED! Quite a feat, seeing as how he was 6 years old at the time.

That was a hell of a reach, getting from Pureval's saying special interests and lobbyists shouldn't make all the rules to implicating him in terrorism. And even worse, standing next to Hillary Clinton.

Scary Democrat Ladies are a real theme for this outfit. Another ad, this one aimed against Amy McGrath, who's hoping to unseat Republican Andy Barr in Kentucky's 6th District, is all about how those awful harridans Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, and Elizabeth Warren are liberal elitists who think they're better than decent hardworking Kentuckians. It's pure resentment politics:

Fear their Vagendae of Manocide! We do like the idea that Amy McGrath is in cahoots with liberal elites who call Kentucky "flyover country" and "look down on us," what with her being a Navy fighter pilot. SEE? LITERALLY TRUE.

Then there's this fun slam at Tom Malinowski, the incumbent Dem in New Jersey's 7th District. Malinowski is another one who clearly hates America and wants you dead, because, you see, not only did he "vote for higher taxes" (by opposing the Big Fat Tax Cuts for Rich Fuckwads), he was even a "lobbyist for terrorist rights"!!!

We did not even know terrorists had a lobby, besides Michael Flynn and Paul Manafort! Malinowski himself was apparently unaware of (or covering up!!) his own terror lobbying, since he thought the ad was condemning his vote on the House version of John McCain's bill banning torture -- which Paul Ryan voted for, too. But thankfully, the Washington Free Beacon has the real scoop: The ad was actually condemning Malinowski's work for notorious terrorist group Human Rights Watch, which was fighting for the rights of Guantanamo detainees to have access to US courts and at least a semblance of due process. See? Terrorist Rights! Worse, he

also "advocated against restrictions on court access for immigrants, criminal defendants, prisoners, and enemy combatant detainees," disclosures from 2006 to 2008 show.

Horrifying. Since when do bad people like "immigrants," and "criminal defendants," and even "prisoners" have rights, huh? Rights are for Republican presidents and their money-laundering aides. The CLF even issued an angry statement saying Malinowski "owes New Jersey families an explanation" for having "lobbied in support of terrorists at Guantanamo Bay." For, you know, Human Rights Watch.

Paul Ryan also loves poor people and understands their struggles, which is why he wants them to lose healthcare and other pernicious government assistance that makes them weak. Another CLF ad against McGrath explains why she should never be allowed in Congress: She'll steal YOUR money and give it to the undeserving takers, while the giant head of Nancy Pelosi whispers, "Yes...yesssss...and make them have babies out of wedlock, too!"

We'll close with this delightful attack ad against Sharice Davids, the awesome lesbian Native American lady who has a pretty good shot at defeating Republican Congressman Kevin Yoder in Kansas. CLF spent $1.7 million to plaster this thing all over the district she's running in, exclaiming Davids wants an open border and the complete elimination of any law enforcement against murderous rapey illegal aliens!

As the Washington Post explains, though, that audio snippet of Davids saying "I do, I would, I would" actually came in the middle of a longer answer in which she explained she wants to see ICE and immigration laws reformed so we can "get away from thinking that everyone coming to the United States is a threat." Davids said CLF had taken a momentary stammer in an answer about how to achieve that (by defunding ICE if necessary) was taken out of context:

"Let me clear, I do not support abolishing ICE," Davids told The Washington Post in an emailed statement. "I do support comprehensive immigration reform to fix our broken system. What I also believe — and what I was addressing — is that the practice of ripping families apart at the border is inconsistent with our core values as Americans and an ineffective deterrent to illegal immigration."

In other words, she wants an open border so she and Nancy Pelosi can stand by and watch with contempt for YOU while all the criminals come flooding in, don't ya know.

In conclusion, Paul Ryan and his super PAC sure are principled in their pursuit of decent American values, like calling people friends of terrorists and crimers and also terrorist crimers, the end.

[Ruby Cramer on Twitter / CLFSuperPAC on YouTube / CNN / WaPo]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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